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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Adge @Bunniekins your uni experiences sound very interesting. I couldn’t wait to leave school, so got a receptionist job at the end of year 11 (30+ years ago). I kind of wish now I’d gone to uni, I’ve done a few different jobs over the years, but nothing I’ve ever really loved.

@eth @Shaz51 I have always loved reading, it’s not often that I haven’t got a book on the go. I’ve always had a bit of a thought running around the back of my head that I would love to write a book, but really not sure where to start. I’ve often thought about writing my story but in a fictional sense, not like an autobiography though. It would be like in my own little way I could get the story out without it actually connecting to me, if that makes sense?? I don’t know, I’m not sure anyone would want to read that kind of a story anyway. Maybe just getting it on paper and out of my head is what I’m really after.

@Shaz51 the creative writing workshop sounds interesting, I hope you enjoy it.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Appleblossom . Hope you are having a nice day, I’m not doing much at all today - and loving every bit of it. I do have my mum here still, she has been at my place since Friday. She has Dementia and needs a bit of care, so I haven’t totally switched off, but it is far better than running and rushing around like what I should have been doing today.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Appleblossom I hear you about choosing who and how to disclose to.

At the creative writing workshop today it was probably obvious that I was writing about my life. One of my stories was shared with the group and I think it was a bit over the top for some of them. I noticed I had a lot less feedback than most of the others. I interpreted this to mean they were a bit stunned. Who knows, maybe that was just me reading into it. On the lunch break conversation turned in a certain direction - about how easy it would be for me to just catch a train to a rural town to do another workshop - and all I could do was smile and say yes. No way was I ready to tell a new face about my independent transport issues. Let alone share what was under the tip of the iceberg. I chose that moment to wander back to the writing table. @Razzle I've tried to write using fictional characters but it just doesn't flow for me. I think you're right tho, sometimes the writing is just for ourselves. It's interesting writing about a period of your life and then coming back and reading it at a later time. Sometimes you can see how far you've come, or identify patterns, clarify memories, shift your perception .....

It was a really informative workshop with plenty of exercises done along the way. The presenter was so well-read and very experienced at critiquing and I've lots of reading I can follow up on in future, as well as more exercises to practice. Thoroughly worth the $70 for the day.

POST EDITED

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth Hi eth I am so happy for you that the course went well today. Funny they thought you could catch a train to the middle of nowhere to do another workshop! My mental health nurse always thinks I looks nice and presentable, she says it hides my problems. In truth it is my way of hiding the inner turmoil that is the pea.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Razzle Hi Razzle hope you are having a nice 'pea'ceful afternoon 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Me too @Bunniekins . I call it the art of seeming! Sometimes I'm better at it than others.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Bunniekins 😁😁👍

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

"Should have been" rushing around @Razzle ?? What this ... "should" business ... how on earth can we age healthily and gracefully if we are too busy ???? lol

Just had 2 old friends over to visit. Nice.

@eth Yes I am figuring out my "revelations" issues TMI messed up a dynamic with one opera lady as she has become a dreadful bossy britches. We were a great threesome for 3 weeks, the other lady was a better listener and more simpatico, but she was pushing too much D&M too quickly and I think a few misconceptions are now in bossy britches lady's head. I plan to tell her that bossiness is more addictive than any drug made to man, and can we predict the consequences.

Had mini convo with lady with Phd in music & personality ... saw eye to eye ...

A guy started calling me "darl" loudly ... so I called him Smarmy Carl ... delivered with a big laugh. Lets see how that progresses ...

Young girl I had a clash with last week seem to have relaxed, gained respect and connected better. We hugged. Good stage presence and chemistry in general. 2 chorus men thanked me for stage interactions. Lots of other great connections. I guess we win some/lose some.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Mazarita wondering if you're around this early morning?

@Appleblossom at least you're out there creating the possibility of winning some! As I left the workshop yesterday I was invited to come to a live reading tonight. And sil said she'd pick me up after if I could get myself there. I'm actually considering giving it a try, it would be a major first for me in probably 3 years to go somewhere alone at night that I don't know anyone at. As sil said some things are easier when you're on a roll (my independence progress over the last couple of weeks).

I have a couple of appointments today tho' so will see how I feel about doing it after they are out of the way.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning everyone who passes by here (too many to tag without forgetting some!) 👋

Thinking of you @Mazarita, looking forward to seeing you again whenever we do ❤

@eth I noticed you were up early. Hope you had some more sleep/rest this morning.

I haven't been around much over the last couple of days but have tried catching up. I was hoping things would calm a little for me with the kids all back at school but it doesnt seem to have yet. Even our mornings are out of whack needing to take Big to the train station before 8 which has thrown our usual routine. They are doing awesomely with their bus trips there and back though 👍 I'm very impressed (I dont do PT well myself)!

I have a meeting this morning with a support coordinator to go over my NDIS plan and probably start the process of a plan review as mine isn't going to work for me. I'm feeling pretty stressed about it and not particularly hopeful that anything helpful will come of it. Will keep chipping away at it and cross my fingers.

Hope today has some good in it for everyone ❤
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