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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita 🙂 things are great thanks Mazzy. I am going to take my son2 to the movies tonight as a treat to see the Clint Eastwood movie The Mule. He has never been out late so it will be a very exciting night for him :).

How are you faring this morning?

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Is the sweating menopause related? or is it the medicines that you are on? I think everyone is sweating more than usual because of the heat. Personally I think you probably looked like you had a beautiful glow about you than sweating 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita@CheerBear Ladies I am about to crash. Great talking to you both. Particularly Mazzy am missing your long raves. Do you think you could post some up for the pea to read :). Love gp xxxxxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I'm good this morning, @Bunniekins. Been awake for about three hours after two and a half hours sleep. Will get some more before long though. Not worrying too much about the lack of order in my sleep at the moment, just taking it when it comes. It wouldn't do anything to worry about it too much anyway, so might as well go with the flow for now.

The Mule looks interesting. Hope you and Son2 enjoy it, and the later night, heaps.

I think the sweating is probably menopause plus the anti-depressant I'm on. My psychologist tells me she sees a number of people on the same one, and that most of us stream sweat if she doesn't have her aircon on full. But it never used to do this to me before. I've been on it for years. So there has to be something else going on too now. The heat here is not that bad, nothing like what others have been getting this season, though still warm and humid, as usual, for this time of year in this sub-tropical zone.

Thanks for the beautiful glow image in your mind. In reality, my face probably looks more like a tap running over a tomato.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Nightie night, @Bunniekins (just as the first light is in the sky here). Sleep well. Long raves are likely to return at some future moment.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks again @Bunniekins for your reassurance 🙂 Great that your son managed to find his people at school. Hope you and S2 have an awesome. Sounds really exciting!

Feeling for you with the discomfort of summer where you are @Mazarita. I'd much prefer the heat we have here than the heat plus humidity you have there!

Did your article get published? Is it the kind of thing you can see how it went (as much as an article can go!)? Maybe the question 'how it was received' is better!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@CheerBear, I think I'd rather the heat here than the 40 plus days elsewhere, though I'm nonetheless taking full refuge in aircon like never before.

Yes, the article was published! It's been shared by a collection of others on social media. A fair few 'likes'. Some have commented favourably on it. That's about all you get really, but it's more than enough for me.

What's the day looking like for you?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That's so great to hear @Mazarita. I think it's really brave to put yourself out there as you do. Nice to read the comments and see the likes I imagine 🙂

Today is looking like a house day. I would really like my crew to do their room. Big is passing down their desk to next one so it will be clearing out and moving things around - something no-one will be keen on! I had a really testing afternoon with them yesterday and I'm hoping very much to not have a repeat of that today but it needs to be done.

Other than that, playing with kitten who they're training to do all kinds of things at the moment, and maybe mowing is on the cards. Would be great to get that done today also 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks, @CheerBear. Confidence is at a relative high at the moment, a good time to be doing things like this. May not last forever, so making hay while the sun shines. At other times I have been too timid, anxious, and self-recriminating to extend myself as far.

Sounds like you have a productive day planned. Fingers crossed the crew are in a better place with it all than yesterday, and you too.

I'm impressed that the kitten can be trained to do things. Cats are not so easily trainable in my experience. One of the things I like about them is their independent spirit. They seem to do as they please a fair bit!

Dawn is here now, and so time to head towards bed again. Great to see you this morning. Friendly vibes heading your way for the rest of the day.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Great to hear your confidence is high at the moment @Mazarita. Can very much understand why you might want to roll with that and get stuck into your projects while it is there 🙂

I too love cats for their independence and that you seem to need to earn their love, which in turn feels awesome if/when they choose to give it. Kitten's natural want to play and her energy is able to be channeled into games like fetch and obstacle courses. Not sure that will last so we're enjoying it while it is here.

Hope today is a good (and cool!) one for you. Lots of ❤😊
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