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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sounds like you've had a well deserved break @Shaz51 Wish some of that beautiful rain would come this way.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi again @Bunniekins hope you had a nice nap. I'm still here! A bit of a roller coaster still for me tonight. Catching Yothu Yindi on the Aust Day concert at Sydney harbour on the telly was good. Just feeling lots of feels after my rave with the sw earlier this afternoon. Brought up a lot of details from when I was an activist in a former life, particularly about black and green issues.

And not long ago posted on another thread where I found the previous poster's comment really insensitive, outrageously so. Still reacting. It's the first time in a very long time that something said in the forums has effected me this way. I don't want to get into a blue with the poster, especially on that particular thread, but I'm finding it hard not to say something directly to them.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Just wanted to call by and send some ❤ @eth for a day that sounds very much like a rollercoaster. Sorry to hear it has continued tonight too. Sounds like a very full on day for you.

Hope there is some calm for you soon.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks lovely @CheerBear. Listening to Paul Kelly on the telly should soothe me somewhat. I hope. Live at the opera house on ABC.

How's your night been?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sounds like a really good thing for you to do tonight @eth.

My night has been OK enough thanks. I wasnt feeling great and have had some frustrations with the kids but with some perspective it really has been a decent enough day.

Are bro and sil supportive of you with this day?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@CheerBear hopefully we'll both have better days tomorrow. Bro and sil know what the day means for me but we don't really discuss it any more. 2 years ago H would have been 21 and I talked about it more that time. They don't put any pressure on me to do anything or mix with people at least. They went to the farm early this morning and I stayed behind because I knew there'd be extra people there this weekend and I just wasn't up to seeming all ok in that group. Too hot to just hang out at my tent and have quiet time.

I've been following your conversation on another thread as you probably know, so I know today's been a jumble of feels for you too. Hope tonight brings refreshing rest for us both.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I imagine it might feel strange at times to have such big stuff happening inside for you but to see the day unfold the way it does for so many others @eth. I find the day isn't one of celebration for me and have spoken with my kids about why. I am now at the point where I don't enjoy even seeing the day celebrated. To have a big anniversary like you do on today when today means something anyway, would be extra tough.

I've noticed your presence on the other thread and really appreciate your understanding (which I feel in your support). Jumble is a good word I think. It fits well. It's how I roll about 99.9% of the time 😉

Right now I am in bed with a littlest next to me watching one of my cats try and climb as high as she can in my room. My other humans are snuggling together watching a scary (for them) movie with the other two furballs crashed on a cat stand. Right now things feel good. I think you said a little while ago that right now is what matters and that's what I'm thinking of.

I too hope you have some rest tonight. Sounds like it will be needed for you after today.

Lots of ❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @CheerBear @Mazarita wondering if either or both of you are around yet this morning? Another very broken night for me - so what's new? Took a prn around 10 last night but it hasn't helped to sleep better tonight. May even take another one in a while in the hopes of more sleep in the morning. So glad I have it, it relaxes me even if it doesn't get me the sleep I crave.

@CheerBear it's been good to see your conversation elsewhere, nice to see you have such support from another special person. Your evening sounds like it was really peaceful. I can feel the love in your home.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Morning @eth, if you're still around. Missed this notification. Sorry to hear you had another very broken night. I was tossing and turning lots and feel like I've had not enough sleep (also a what's new from me too).

Hoping for you you're sleeping peacefully now but here if you're still up 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning. Yep still here @CheerBear but not sure for how much longer. Hoping to sleep some more while the morning is still cool. Such a lovely change from yesterday. The cabin didn't really cool down til the wee hours. How are you?

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