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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth it was going to be a review of application but becausae it was taking so long I took him out of some of his day care to save on money so it would last until he has to re apply in April. I am not happy about it as it is so stressful having to get new psychiatrists paper's etc to go through it all again. it is just stress that I don't need plus I have been doing this all his life since he was 2 1/2 begging for funding and having it either approved or knocked back and having to go through the process all over again.

Like I said he is autistic, has epilepsy, mild intellectual disability and a psychosis none of these things are going to change but I have to prove it every year and it is emotionally exhausting and draining. I hate it.

When he was 18 and was going for the dsp they wanted an appointment. I was furious as I said to them he is very unwell but they insisted. So I took him into Centrelink and he was manic and angry at the appointment which lasted 10 mins and he was given his dsp. At least it gave me a laugh I suppose at their expense.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @CheerBear @Zoe7 @Bunniekins. Yes we'll probably go looking for a beach that's not too busy, or a lookout over the coastline somewhere if I'm up to leaving the house. Otherwise maybe just have her here and review how I'm going with my goals etc. There is a formal review overdue with that organisation. And have a go at putting a transport app on my phone, that sort of thing. She rang yesterday so she knows what's going on for me.

@Bunniekins I really feel for you having to prove his (and your) situation over and over. I raised a child with disability too, but nowhere near as complex as your son's conditions. My child (now 30) is legally blind. It must be so hard parenting someone who will unlikely be able to adult independently. (Hope I've got that right, correct me if not).

We also had to constantly prove what I was spending where as they had a trust fund with the Public Trustee because I sued the Dr that caused their prematurity (born at 26 weeks due to my membrane being ruptured during a pap smear). It took years for the legal case to be resolved before that too.

So it was a different situation but I think I can sense what it's like for you. You are soooo strooooong to have hung in there all this time.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth I think you know exactly where I am coming from. You are such a caring lovely person. Two very different situations but similar because it has affected our children's lives and therefore ours.

I am so sorry about your son ... I will be thinking about you tomorrow eth xxxxxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Zoe7 spotted you elsewhere. How has today been for you?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Been quiet @eth inside out of the heat, wind and smoke - pretty bad conditions down here today. How has your day been? DId you find something to do with your support worker or is that tomorrow?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Glad to hear you're keeping indoors today @Zoe7. Me too mostly. SW is tomorrow.

SIL suggested we go to a movie which is a great idea. I've texted the SW to ask if I'd have to pay for both our tickets or just mine. Haven't heard back.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

A movie is a good idea @eth Hope it is only your ticket yuo have to pay for though.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Zoe7 and anyone else seeing this before mid day tomorrow - recommendations of movies that are on at the moment would be welcome.

I just got reimbursed for my tai chi lessons so might just go even if I have to pay for sw as well.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I couldn't even tell you what movies are out at the moment @eth - not a big movie watcher. F&H would be able to help you out if she was able to post - sure there will be others here with recommendations.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning,

@CheerBear, @eth, @Exoplanet, @Bunniekins, @outlander, @Appleblossom @Shaz51, @Zoe7, @Adge, @Sophia1, @Teej and everyone,

Actually it's about 2.45am as I'm writing this, an hour later for some of you, and in yet another time zone for others. Things have calmed down tonight just enough for me to post here again now after some absence. I haven't kept up with everyone's news but know that it's a sad anniversary day for you, @eth. Sending special hugs to you. Hugs to everyone else too, for any struggles that might be happening at this time.

Over the past day I've had more sleep than I've been getting for quite some time and feel better for it, even if it's coming in short naps spaced far apart in the day and night, and in no sensible order by any reasonable standard. Also noticing I feel a bit more relaxed than I have for six weeks or so, since this obsessive manic phase with my creativity started ramping up. The reduction of my anti-depressant dose at the start of January seems to be slowly helping me balance a little more.

I've also just completed two big creative projects: one a video I've been working on solidly for two months; the other an article I've written (and a million times re-written), due to be published today in an online journal. This latter is my first written piece to be published anywhere but here on the forum, or my own blog, for over 20 years.

I have a stack of other projects lined up to go on with after this. But these were two projects that were stretching me beyond my usual limits, and therefore demanded more energy and work (and obsession). They also had deadlines, which I'm not good with, as indicated by the disaster I had with one at the end of last year. In both cases, I was determined to be ahead of schedule so that I didn't have another crushing failure to contend with. I did come in early in both cases.

So now it feels like things could settle down a bit more inside me after this, and give me a chance to focus again on some of the more basic life things in my days. During this time, I have been out of the flat far less often than I was prior, but this has also been due to the heat. It hasn't been anywhere near as bad here as other parts of the country, but my overheating body is struggling with any time out of aircon this summer. @Exoplanet, I am especially thinking of what you are going through with the weather. I won't send hugs because they would be too darn hot, but cooling waves of love to you and canine companions.

If there's anyone awake and around who feels like a chat about now, I'm here for a while before going back to bed. Otherwise, stay cool, and kind feelings to all.

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