FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

16,501 - 16,510 of 27,230

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I had a hernia as toddler @Adge inguinal, but got confirmed 12mths agonow have a split down the middle like a pregnant woman type one . Lifestyle related no doubt. Yay. They said best off dont get operation but could have. Exercise will fix it . Well it seemed smaller re bulge in the one action it’s noticeable in a while ago ie getting up off a bench after lying on back @Adge yeah gross . Makes my gut look even bigger prob lol

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sorry for the delay replying @Adge I was posting a lengthy response elsewhere.

Sorry to hear you need surgery, but hopefully it means you'll be more comfortable in the not too distant future. I'm around for a while if you want to talk more about how you're going.

@TAB must be a fine balance doing the right exercises to improve the abdominal situation you describe.

Night night @Shaz51 x

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Shaz51@TAB@eth

My hernia is directly caused by the massive amount of scar tissue, left from my emergency bowel surgeries (when they left the wound split).

The surgeon actually said & confirmed that today - it was not caused by anything that I did, & was unavoidable (unfortunately).

That partly explains my high levels of distress - I've done everything I could to avoid getting a hernia (or any complications from past surgeries).

Yet nothing I did to care for myself, or to avoid it made any difference - I've got major complications needing surgery, anyway.

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Damn @Adge. I feel for you. Hope this next surgery is the last for a very long time.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Far out . Sorry @Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good night @Adge @TAB @CheerBear signing out now. Hope you all rest well tonight and start tomorrow refreshed.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning, @CheerBear, @eth, @Exoplanet, @Bunniekins and everyone,

I say 'good morning', but really it's not yet 3am here (4am daylight savings time).

Nonetheless I'm happy to report I have had five hours sleep, in one miraculous continuous block, since going to bed early last night. Glad to be now finding the recent reduction of anti-depressant dose is starting to have the desired effect of allowing me more sleep, after six weeks or more of less than four hours a day.

That's my grand news for the moment. Was glad to get tags in messages from @eth and @Exoplanet in yesterday's mail. Love to you both.

Thinking of all suffering from heatwave. Stay as cool as possible friends!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey @Mazarita such good news that you had such a great block of sleep last night. The lowered dose of ad sounds like it's taking you in the right direction. I had a 4 hr block and then a 3 hr block so I feel much more rested than usual too. It makes such a difference to the 1 1/2 hr blocks I've been having for weeks now - usually at least 6 naps overnight. But even that has been better than it was for a long time in that I haven't been waking up in a panic state and have been able to go back to sleep readily (after my cig that is!).

Really hoping you can stay creatively focussed as your sleep balances out gently.

Good morning to anyone else around today.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Morning everyone 👋

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

hugs @Adge

the specialist wantsto see my mum again about haveing another surgery -- amm mum is 87 and very frail -- I dont know if i want mum to go through it again xxxx

16,501 - 16,510 of 27,230