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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

A rave, to no-one in particular, just to let it out. Feel free to read or pass on by...

A nothing day here today. Rubber duck hasn't seen water for a week, maybe more. Highly agitated inner state bubbling away, so familiar, over a long, long time. So familiar too the paralysis that comes with it. Patience is very hard to find in this state. But at least I haven't snapped and starting ranting again, and hope with all my heart to keep that at bay. Again, I slept a fair bit of today away to escape. Watched episodes of Reign on and off to distract. It helped, though I can't say I'm really enthusiastic it. It's just a TV show I can bear to watch really (most of them just make me terribly bored and restless and I walk away).

I'm seeing my psychiatrist on Saturday. Who knows what kind of mood I'll be in when I am sitting in front of him. This is one of the problems I find with mental health treatment for me. I almost always present a lot better at appointments etc. than what I am alone at home. There are two extremely different sides of me: the conversational, articulate and reasonable, fairly well-dressed and groomed person, that I mostly present to the outside world (when I get out there); and the dark, feral, endlessly tired and agitated blob I too often am at home. I know all the things I am meant to be doing to help myself feel better and I feel completely unable at present to do them. Even the thought of them seems like just another thing sent to torment me.

Tomorrow I may feel different. I hope so.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita - just wanted to say that I read your let it out post. Sending you lots of these 💗

Thinking of you tonight

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks, @CheerBear. Sending you lots of these ox

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Mazarita

@Former-Member

I'm reading your messages....I'm sure that you are both living my life right this very second.

It's so difficult is'nt it? As soon as Mr G wakes up, the alarm goes off.....he is hanging for his first med..I need to grab his computer, take it into the loungeroom, get some water for him,get a coffee for him, make sure his clothes are next to him when he gets himself to the loungeroom.....make sure he is settled. I have about 10 mins to get ready then it's all go to get to the chemist.....then his swearing if the car outside the chemist is not able to be right outside the chemist..........

Get to the park to get Arlo to have a run while he stays in the car because Mr G can't walk. Then I'm walking around the park/beach and then when I'm feeling the beautiful beach breeze......the car honking starts...............

All day by day.

So, no, no cleaning has been done. None.

None at all. Actually, I have decided to ask my old school friend to come over and help me do a spring clean and I', paying her.with my small allowance for the fortnight. So we both get something out of it.....

P.s. Thanks for the tip on budgetting @Mazarita

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Dear @Former-Member

When you write, your words are so creative and expressive.

PeppiPatty

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Mazarita and @Former-Member thanks for the shout outs.

@Mazarita have just read your post from yesterday. Feeling for you. You could tell the psychiatrist pretty much what you've said here, about the difference between the you out in the world and the you at home. It might help them have more insight into what's really happening for you.

Hi also to @soul and @outlander.

My trip to Darwin was interesting. Not a happy time for the people I stayed with as their daughter's wedding was on that weekend and they couldn't go due to her and her fiancee's awful treatment of them over the last several months. Being Greek Orthodox this was terrible for them (it would be for any parents but in this case it was almost like someone had died). But there were a few gatherings in the evenings with supportive friends of theirs. The feasts were excellent but most of the talking was in Greek, which I don't speak, and a lot of it was insensitive people who went to the wedding and talked about it, upsetting my friends a lot. I really timed my trip badly. When it was booked things were different. They were expecting a new car to be delivered (which eventually happened on my last day) and we had talked of going to an island not too far away for the weekend to take their minds off what was happening. This didn't happen and we spent almost all the time at their flat with them on an emotional roller coaster. Some of the time I was a buffer between them when one needed to vent and the other needed not to talk about it.

But at least I managed to travel there and back which is a huge milestone for me. Frustrations with the meet and assist arrangements I'd made with the airline and delays of the last flight were anxiety causing but I got through it overall.

Now looking forward to going to Canberra on the 18th to see my adult child and their family. At least this time it's just 1 direct flight. My sil will put me on the plane and my adult child will meet me at the other end. That will be much easier too manage I think.

Thanks again for the mentions. I hope today is easier and peaceful for you all. Hi to others here as well.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth, so good to see you again. The trip sounds tricky but glad you managed to get through it all okay, and also be a help to friends at a really hard time for them. The forthcoming trip to see your child sounds much simpler with the travel.

I've woken feeling a bit better this morning after about 12 hours sleep. Planning to shower and get out of the flat today to do some errands. Fingers crossed I make it out the door. I will talk to psychiatrist about the big contrasts in my states of being when I see him tomorrow. I have mentioned how I always 'present well' to him in the past but it's worth continuing to mention it, so that he fully gets it and knows it has not really changed.

Good morning to everyone reading this. Hope the day brings some enjoyment for you, even if only in moments.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Mazarita. I hope your day is a smooth one for you. I have to make a call to the kids to catch up at 10 but will be back here later.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good Morning Mazy @Mazarita

I'm glad you can rave to the Universe, I do think that's what this forum is to me; not the Center I already had that, it's just everything else 🙂 I think this site gathers all the Sane people together, 'cause I think it's the rest of the World that's crazy 🙂

So our rubber duckies are a bit smudged, mine smells a bit like stale sweat {eeeewwwww!!!!}; but my dishes and my washing are done, so I'll give myself a pat on the back for that . . . and today is another day 🙂

Of all the emotions on the roller-coaster I dislike anger the most, so sorry your going through it. I think there are so many things to be angry about, the signals get confused, the brain can't pick just one - and so the anger just bubbles away under the surface of everything. It forms like a thick layer and all the other emotions can't get through, it takes away any joy that would normally take place. I know your aware of this, but it will pass Your doing extremely well not to snap at C, I have no-one left to snap at, I've pushed everyone away - but I still do . . . the air, the birds and bees, the flowers and trees; I yell, scream, curse them at them all at times.

I think it's natural to change the way you appear and act in front of another person, particularly those with authority and Doctors are definitely in that bracket, especially once you start getting into specialists. A good Doctor will be aware of that, no one session will create the full picture, each one will add to the sketch, in time they may be able to colour it in; but the intricate shadings may never be seen.

The fact that you can 'see' what things you may be doing to help yourself feel better, means your eyes are open 🙂 You can not do what you can not do, but your years of experience will help you through the wait until you can do what you can do

And you can do a lot Mazy maybe not so much in conventional ways, but so much more than average - you deal with so much more than average on a day to day basis.

I've decided not to go for the x-ray, I don't understand why it's needed. No more teeth are to be extracted, just fillings and cleaning/scrapping. I am not good with my dental hygiene - never have been - so I don't see the sense in exposing myself to the decaying radiation of an x-ray. My mouth has not felt this good for many years . . . if it ain't broke . . .

So much love to you Mazy

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, hope to catch up with you later in the day.

@Former-Member. Niqua, big pats on the back for you doing dishes and washing. Pat pat pat (just in case you couldn't feel them, hehe).

I think you are probably right that there is anger bubbling under the surface of my agitations. I know for sure it's frustration that I am not a lot better than I am after a lot of effort over time. But I guess I already know that effort is required every day, not just some days, otherwise I can end up in these awful holes. I guess I also know that some days may fall in holes even then.

I wonder if I could encourage you to reconsider and have the dental x-rays, on the grounds that you may well need fillings, which will preserve your teeth from future extractions, or at least delay them much longer. Some of them probably may in fact be 'broke' without being at the emergency stage. I'm waiting for my name to come up at the government dentist (free) for about five fillings needed in my mouth. They only did the emergency job last time I saw them and the rest are not emergencies so have to wait a bit longer. I can say for sure that I feel better with a healthier mouth. This helps with physical ailments too, as the state of our teeth affect our general health. If your teeth haven't felt that good in years, maybe it's worth the little bit of extra struggle (and cost) to keep them that way as long as possible?

Well, I must be better, since I have the energy to nag you about teeth!

I hope the rest of your day has birds, bees, flowers and trees, not for snapping at (lol), but to bring smiles deep inside.

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