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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Exoplanet Good morning Exoplanet 😄 the image of your staffy rolling in the mud is delightful :). Staffy's are such gorgeous dogs :D.reminds me of a story my ex who was a farm boy told me about dogs on farms how they love to roll in carceses of dead sheep .... so yeah embrace the mud rolling

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @Exoplanet 😊 Loved reading this post!

You're close but I don't live with water between us and am somewhere that's forecast to be pretty warm here. I have people who live in a high fire danger place which is always on my mind on days like today. I've offered them a place to stay but can't make them take me up on it (though I have considered dragging them here 😉). The weather here can be so interesting! There is a change expected to roll through later which could/probably will bring a pretty rapid change of 15-20°. Sometimes on hot days I watch the radar and stand outside as the change comes as you can feel the moment the wind turns and it arrives. One of those simple things that brings me lots of joy!

I don't have much to complain about with the heat, especially when I think of how relentless it can be in other parts of the country like it sounds it can be where you are. Hope you can get the battery sorted soon!

Big ❤ to you 😊🙂😊

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @Exoplanet @Bunniekins @CheerBear @outlander and @Mazarita and anyone else passing here today. Hope it's going well so far.

Thinking of you Maz and imagining you going full-on with your video making - hope it's going well but that you're getting some rest at some stage too.

Loved your post Exo. NYE was pretty good, not too large a crowd - about 30 or so including several children. The cob pizza oven was fired up and everyone shared toppings so it was quite the feast. We all walked down to the river at dusk and set little paper boats containing tea light candles afloat, representing letting go of 2018 and our hopes for 2019. Yes, someone collected the candles later so they didn't pollute the river or start a fire down stream. There was a bit of dancing later, for which the kids had made a playlist which was fun. And some live music from a banjo and guitar duo with wonderful vocal harmonies. I called it quits around 11 and slept on and off til 9.30 new years day - almost unheard of for me, especially when camping. There was a storm on NYE and my doona was wet but it didn't bother me, I was too tired to care.

I agree about how good it feels to start eating lighter after all the feasts of the festive season. Hope your tummy settles soon.

Bro and sil are going back to the farm today for a couple of nights and I'll be here looking after 2 dogs - hoping that goes ok. Have a support worker for a few hours tomorrow afternoon so at some stage today I need to plan my shopping list, including choosing 4 dishes to share with the others. Also have a bunch of NDIS related admin stuff to catch up on that has been accumulating for weeks.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Zoe7 sorry I forgot to tag you.

Hey @Mazarita

Spotted you both under the support button.

How's today going so far?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

No need to be sorry @eth I often read along and don't post so catch up on what is happening for you anyway. Sounds like you have a few things to get organised today. I woke up with more energy than I have had for several weeks so have already been to the supermarket and started sorting out all the stuff on my dining room table. Having a rest from that now but will get back to it soon.

I have my little fluffball still asleep but when he wakes up I also need to give him a bath. It is going to be super hot here today so he should dry pretty quickly.

I was going to sort out some more stuff in the garage but it is already getting too hot to do that - that might have to wait now until sometime over the weekend. I ideally would have like the roof fixed first but can do some of it without that being done - the rest will have to wait until the roof is fixed and I can put in the wall on the side (that will also cost me money so it might need to wait a bit longer because I don't have the money right now). I still have Bunnings vouchers from my birthday and Christmas but would rather use those on a new mitre saw as my old one got hit by the storms and subsequent flooding last year and is now too rusted to use safely (plus I don't know what dmaage it did to the electrics so not safe to use).

Hoping you get your shopping and meals done and also the NDIS paperwork you need to do.

Toby just woke up but simply moved from one position to another - oh well - bath can wait

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Zoe7 you sound very independent with home maintenance - I'm guessing you own your place. How nice to wake up with extra energy and motivation -- I haven't for a long time and miss those days. Wondering what a 'mitre' saw is? Maybe you could get the old one safety checked at Bunnings. I think they do that sort of thing.

Yuck warning! I think I've got tick bites in my armpits - the down side of camping in the bush. Haven't had one for ages and it's got me checking every little skin sensation, anxious about having a reaction to them while the others are away. I've put the appropriate cream on them just in case. So I've got a weird kind of body anxiety happening today and it's not pleasant.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Exoplanet, @Bunniekins, @CheerBear, @eth and everyone,

have read over the posts since exo's previous post this morning. That's all I'm capable of at the moment.

Another crazy day yesterday after less than four hours sleep. Was gearing up for another video day when I got a FB message from C's lovely and inspiring cousin, a musician who we haven't seen for years though we are in occasional FB contact. She was expecting to come past our place in the afternoon on her way further south, and wanted to visit. Sorted that out, and as I did, I got another FB message from a friend I also haven't seen for years He was three or four suburbs away, also on his way somewhere else, and he wanted to visit too!

I was still in my nightie at this point (about 11.30am), the flat was like a bomb had blew up in it, and I hadn't eaten for several hours, as I've been doing breakfast when I invariably wake up very early in the morning of late. So I asked the friend three suburbs away if he could wait an hour *while I did some things that 'needed to be done'). A vague was of covering up the feral state of me and the flat, which seemed to really need cleaning up before he arrived, as he is fastidious in his domestic spaces.

Within a minute of the last, real-life, morning FB message with my friend, I was on my feet and cleaning.

Bed made. Courtyard partially swept as quick as I could. Kitchen needed a complete makeover to be at all 'fit for human consumption' so got into that, the job that took the longest. Everything needed to be done very quickly. But the time I was part-way through the kitchen, I was sweating a geyser. My spectacles needed windscreen wipers. The red of my face rivalled tomatoes. Still I had to keep going.

I checked C's bathroom next to the kitchen, as that is the one used by guests who come here (I have a tiny ensuite). A disaster in there. Cleaned the toilet, gave the sink and mirror a clean, then looked at the sorry state of the bathtub. Neither of us use that as it's really too small to relax in. Instead, C has a plastic box of cleaning products and other stuff stored there. We have very little storage space in this flat and have had to be 'creative'.

The bath was a shade of disgusting beyond tolerance. C had been burning incense on the edge of it many times over several months it seemed. The dusty residue dropped as the incense burns down had collected at the bottom of the bath, along with other totally inappropriate oddities lying around in there too.

Cursing by this point, I cleaned up the bathroom, to a not-at-all-great stage that I felt I could bear. More sweat, more bodily heat.

Then I quickly grabbed the big broom we use for our two courtyards and swept the main living space and kitchen with it. Much faster doing this quick once over than the vacuum. Didn't have time for that! Then it was a thorough body clean, dressing grooming for the visits.

I stood in front of the blasting aircon for a good half hours to try to cool off my head, and wildly red and sweaty face. Standing with my arms over my head to try to dry off the sweat there. Even ate a quickly-prepared tuna sandwich there, while waiting for my friend to arrive. He had gone to lunch himself in the intervening time, which had now been more like 90 minutes than an hour.

He arrived about two hours after first messaging me. I simply couldn't have seen him sooner. Rapid fire conversation from the get-go. Great to see him. C came home from work while he was here, so they were able to catch up too. A good, highly engaged visit for a couple of hours and then our friend continued on his way.

There was just time for me to go to the toilet between visits and, while I was in there, the buzzer went again. C's cousin and her husband. Again the level of conversation was intense from first arrival, and continued that way throughout.

I started getting a headache from the intensity of the two visits one after the other, as well as the overheating that had happened with me while doing the lightning speed cleanup of the flat earlier. That, combined with less than four hours sleep, saw the headache increase in intensity with every word I spoke. Then it was time to go out for fish & chips dinner. I had a last smoke before doing that, while the other three waited inside. As I was doing this, I decided I couldn't go out with them as my headache was just too severe. I took a migraine med, some hydrolyte in case it was partly due to dehydration, and soluble aspirin as well. It was really a crashing headache by this point and I felt I needed to throw everything I had at it!

The trio left me alone while they went for dinner. I turned off the lights in the room as I was light sensitive by this time. Sat in the armchair and tried to do some deep breathing and conscious muscle relaxation while there. The muscles in the upper section of my body and head felt rigid, my neck a stiff stalk of intense pain.

The quiet time in the dark started to improve things somewhat. Then the group came home. C's cousin and husband were heading forward on their journey immediately at that point, so we exchanged hugs and good vibes.

After that I was struggling with the still-severe headache all night. I thought I was going to vomit and got a bucket to sit beside me in the chair just in case, and to go with me to the toilet in case it started there (has happened before). I was on the edge of the technicolour yawn for hours, but managed not to do that, thankfully.

Slept in my usual two hour blocks over the night, getting more overall than has been happening lately. Instead of arising and diving into creative stuff on the computer when I woke each time, I mostly just went back to bed from exhaustion.

On each awakening before dawn the headache was somewha less virulent. By dawn it seemed to have stopped, but left me feeling like I'd been really beat up. I'm still struggling to keep my eyes open while I'm here writing. But here I am anyway.

Sending good things today to all here!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

😮 @Mazarita that sounds so full on! I kind of giggled as I can relate to the frantic tidy up that can happen just before unexpected guests, though maybe not quite to the extent you needed yesterday which sounds like it was pretty full on. I can get more tidying done in the moments before people arrive than I can in a whole day sometimes though!

Sounds horrible with the headache and todays beat up feelings though. Hope it all passes properly soon ❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Oh @CheerBear, it was so full on!

Now that it's passed though, I can be amused by it in some weird way too!

Lol to the universal experience of the 'fast cleanup'. It's a bit more of a physical challenge than I can take these days though, especially when the flat is in a bad way. It was great to see the people, love them all. Was it worth it? I'm not sure!

Needless to say, a recovery day today. I'd probably get some more bed-time but am expecting a parcel to arrive after an email alert about it a bit earlier. Need to sign for it so will probably stay awake now, at least until it arrives. I'm going to head off the forum now though, to watch an hour Frasier, which I find funny, relaxing and will hopefully be a rest from my hyperactive mind over the past block of time.

Glad to catch you in real time momentarily. Enjoy the rest of your day.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I hope it isn't tick bites @eth and that what you have put on the area helps either way.

A mitre saw (or drop saw) slides backwards and forwards as well as cutting downwards/ My old one does slide anymore so definitely time for a new one. If it is rusted on the outside I can only imagine what damage there is on the inside.

I have quite a considerable mortgage @eth but it is my own home so no-one to answer to bar the bank manager. I have always been able to pay my mortgage but needed some help early last year when I was waiting for back payments from income protection - luckily my mother and sister could help me - but the asking them for help was very stressful.

I do most things around the home myself - I won't touch electrical things and my sister's partner is a plumber - so that end of things is sorted too - but all the renovations inside I have done. It is not that hard but doing it all on my own does take more time. I am still waiting for my sister's partner to fix my garage roof - I will help him now that I have more energy but he began it several months ago when I could barely mve off the couch - we would knock it over in a few hours with us both doing it - just need to wait for him (and the weather) to be able to do it. Hoping he will come sometime this week and then I can do the walls in the garage and put up the shelves. Plenty to get done - just need the roof done first

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