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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Just feound several tags that I didn't get notifications for, so sorry if there's anyone I haven't replied to.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Morning @eth and hi to everyone 👋

How was the farm eth? Hope you had a nice time away 🙂

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Nice to see you back @eth hope your time away was good

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good on you @TAB I just don't have the willpower to go cold turkey with the cigs. It would mean so much to the people who care about me if I could get off them. So as a start I'm trying to wait twice as long before I have one. I'm terribly addicted.

Congratulations! How was your NYE?

Hi @CheerBear the farm was good, not too many people this year - maxed out at about 30 including several children on NYE. Super hot tho' so I couldn't just hang out at my camp during the day. With even that many people I find I need to have times by myself, but it was lovely sharing meals with everyone. And I did take the full plunge in the river one day - that's the first time I've gotten all the way in since I relocated from the hot north where the water is always warmer than it is down here.

How was your NYE?

Hi to you too @outlander How's the New Year going for you so far?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

thats how I started giving up last time I did ok 31 years ago now, re spacing them out. well it lasted 13 years til I didnt respect it enough and started again. yes re addicted. I dont have 1200 a month to spend on it, well i guess credit card was funding my vices. I never paid it down, well paid half this year and cut limit so just cant afford to do it besides health stuff bla anyway I have patches and lozenges but theyre very old and the way Im feeling theyre not really working. Last time put patches on ok at non smoking work site, just didnt think about it. was just like turning a switch. so when next leave the house will get fresher ones lol

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Go you @TAB!

30 sounds like a much less hectic number than 200 @eth, though I hear you with needing alone time. You've had a pretty constant stream of more company than it sounds you usually do, over the last couple of weeks. Awesome with the swim also! I came from warm water to where it the water is much cooler and haven't had much to do with swimming since. Last year on a trip away my littlest was being a bit too brave in a surf beach so I decided to take them in deeper to feel what the waves really felt like when we are in them (learn some respect for the water really). I then had a proper swim (in tights and a t-shirt as it was unplanned) and it felt soooo good!

My NYE was quiet but good thanks. I'm not a fan of it at all so we stayed home and played some board games, had too many lollies and they ran feral in the yard with glow sticks for a while waiting for fireworks on TV and that we can se from the house. It was a fun night with them an they loved it which made it better for me too 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

thanks @CheerBear I'll try not to go on about it lol

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

No please do if you want to @TAB! I consider quitting much more often when I hear other people doing well with it, plus it is something to be pretty proud of and celebrate too! Big go you!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@CheerBear glad to hear you had some joy with your kiddles. I remember you saying it was a difficult time for you. Hoping the anniversary feels have settled down by now.

@TAB I can't use patches etc because they make me manic. But I am using my e-cig right now and plan to use it more as the days pass. I had to import some juice for it that contains a small amount of nicotine from NZ - you can't get it with nic. in Oz. So I'm set up now and it satisfies me a bit more. Wow $1200 a month! I use rollies and spend about $160 a month but even that's too much on my budget. That's another real advantage of getting off them. There are so many reasons.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I used that figure cos it sounds worse @eth but after changing brands and shopping around could still get pk 30 for $36, would do most of that in a day easy, if drinking, a lot more, so times by 7 makes at least 300 times by for is the monthly number .. ye ep .. went to shop for treats early this morning, listening to people buying cigarettes, me thinking oh well thats $40 well and $35 of that is tax that funds bureacracies that collect tax , make ads ok pay their houses off etc so stuff them lol

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