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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

thanks @Zoe7 i really hope its a better year for you too and that everything will work out well with everything. i like that motto. mines been 'this too shall pass' for the past yr so might keep that one happening as its worked so far!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That is one I had for the last part of the year @outlander but trying to think more positive. Time will tell how well that goes but hoping the new school is close and I have more time to do things at home as well. I can't do anything until I find out where I will be though so that is up in the air for at least another couple of weeks - just need to put that out of my mind as muchas possible because I can't do anything else with the process but wait.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

that sounds like a good plan @Zoe7

ive actually got a pretty big year this year but alot is the waiting game too which kinda sucks but i cant do much about it so while i am nervous for all these things im just going to keep moving forward and keep trying to do positive things. i may study again but im not to sure yet as i worry i may become to overloaded.
my fingers are crossed that the school is close or if its not it is at least a nice environment to work in.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It is definitely going to be a big change in a new school but I too am trying to think positive and hope it is a nice environment to work in - manything has to be better than what I had at the other school @outlander

The wind has dropped a bit here so hoping it stays like that and we can get to the beach this afternoon.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

im proud of you @Zoe7 youve worked hard to get where you are now with some really hard decisions that had to be made. its really great to see/hear

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @outlander I don't know where these changes are going to take me but I know I couldn't keep goign at that school - it really was a toxic environment and not one I wanted to be part of. I had done over 10 years at that school and it was time to move on. It is scary to not know where I will be going but it will have to be something I deal with - then just do my job and come home to my babies - life in balance is what I need to achieve.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

it is a pretty big change @Zoe7 but your right that environment at the other school was toxic and a new start sounds like a good idea. Its their loss really, your a great teacher.
A balance in life is a very good idea

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Making sure I don't let the things I like doing slip because of the workload will be a challenge @outlander - work does tend to take over everything so finding that balance is going to be really important.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

i cna imagine alot of work goes into lesson planning, writing reports and those sorts of things @Zoe7
do you think youll be going back to the 5 days a week straight up or working up slowly to that?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

No maximum 4 days - with Wednesdays still for DBT and appointments @outlander The break in between the week will be good but super busy also. It will give me a break to regroup a bit too though. I don't think I will go back to 5 days for some time but that also depends on money.

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