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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yes re next year , Tuesday right? Might have to check lol @eth

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@TAB My son asked for vichyssoise this chrissie. Cold leek & potato soup with cream and cracked pepper. Have left overs in the freezer.

@Mazarita I can just imagine that the video was beautiful, perfect for the occasion and well received. It is lovely to see you back again from your creative burst.

@outlander Always good to see you around Bella. Whats todays word?

@eth Lovely food choices. Enjoy your busy NY at the farm with the fam as much as poss. In many ways we are so different yet also have so much in common.

@Zoe7

Having you around has really helped me get through this christmas.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That is a really lovely thing for you to say @Appleblossom and makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. I am so glad that someone was here to help you get through but you are the strong one and you really did it all on your own - if I helped just a little bit with that then I am honoured to have walked this little period with you Apple.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yum yum yum @Appleblossom 😸 my mum used to do requests for birthday meals. Was always either crumbed porkchops with mash and boiled cabbage in vinegar cream and pepper or the best hotdogs ever 😸

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Just calling by to say good morning @Mazarita and all. Wondering how your trip out to visit your friends was the other day Maz and hoping you've had a good couple of days.

❤ to all

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning, @CheerBear.

I've been catching up on sleep the past couple of days and also finishing off some other video stuff I wanted to do before end of year. Then not getting much sleep at all again overnight because of sleeping so much of yesterday.

Will probably catch up on more again today. I need it! I've broken out in a yucky cold sore over past couple of days, which I think is directly related to lack of sleep. Haven't had one of those for many years.

Aside from that, okay.

Visit to our friends at a bit of a distance on Saturday was good, as it almost always is. They are a lovely couple, about 5-10 years older year. As with most times we meet, the conversation started flowing as soon as we walked in the door. As most times, the hours flew past in the same manner until we'd been there for four of them, barely noticing time pass. At that point I was fading from tiredness, so we came home.

Good times.

How are you this morning? How have the past couple of days been?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Great to see you @Mazarita 😊 Did you manage to wrap up the videoing you'd hoped to finish off? That's a pain with the cold sore.

Great to hear your visit went well. It's so nice to be in the company of people in such an enjoyable way that you lose track of time 😊

I'm good this morning thanks. I had an OK enough sleep. Yesterday was quiet and the little crew and I are all home now. They played with things from xmas all day, two completely engrossed in slime (mess) making for hours, which was fun to watch.

Last night I had an awesome chat with a friend who is one of the longest friendships I have. We hadn't spoken for too long (a year which we both felt bad about) and I called her out of the blue. Like you experienced with your friends, the conversation flowed from the moment we started chatting and I lost a couple of hours with her. My heart felt full for it and it was a great end of year thing to do.

How are you feeling abour the day/evening ahead and your plans for tonight?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Happy to see you too on this last day of the year, @CheerBear.

Yes, I have finished off everything I wanted to do before tonight. The main thing was writing a longish piece for my blog about my year creatively, rather than doing any more actual video-making. Feels good to have wrapped up everything well, ready for a new start to things tomorrow. It's been a pretty crazy December for it all though!

Smiles at the thought of the LF and the slime. Awesome you reconnected with your good friend and were full of heart afterwards. I've recently reconnected on FB with my best friend from primary school. We were so close then, it was a very special friendship in my life. Fantastic to be in contact again with lots of conversation on FB. We live at a big distance from each other but are planning ways to meet up again before too long.

I'm feeling today needs to be primarily about sleeping again, though I have some things on my list it would be good to do. Tonight we are joining our close friend and her brother to go to fireworks over a river. Feeling good about that too.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Great that you finished off everything @Mazarita. I so wish I could read that blog! I imagine your post about your year would give lots of feels to read. It's been so cool to follow along and imagine it all again this year.

FB and social media are great for being able to connect with people that you otherwise may not have been able to. My friend from last night and I live states away and met online, with our relationship developing through social media over years. Me disappearing from social media put a strain on our relationship and made it harder to keep in touch in a way (which it shouldn't probably). We both joked that as we have matching ink, we really need to not let our friendship fade and have that awkward moment you got a matching tattoo with someone you no longer talk to, when we are older 😆 Might sound silly but it is something that makes sure we keep in touch.

Being in contact with your primary school friend is pretty special and it would be awesome to be able to meet up with her!

Really hope you have a great night tonight (after some more sleep/rest today) 🤞

I have loved the time we have spent together this year, especially in the wee hours. I really appreciate you Maz. Happy end of year and start of the next to you ❤❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Cool that a tattoo could be the thing to keep friends in contact over a lifetime, @CheerBear.

What lovely words about our meetups in these early hours over the year. I feel the same CB. It's been wonderful to get to know you more closely, and just to share our dawn moments on so many days. My appreciation of you too is huge. Happy new year to you too. There has been some major stuff for you towards this end of year. I hope next year is calmer and kinder for the whole twelve months!

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