FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

15,931 - 15,940 of 27,230

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Mazzy!! @Mazarita are you up for talking?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello @Bunniekins, @Mazarita, @eth, @Appleblossom, @Zoe7

yes my mum did not like closed bedrooms doors, and she was brought up that you did not lay in your bed through the day unless you were very sick

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

My mother was BIG on not laying down on beds, but missed it when people really were seriously sick.

My ex tells my son nobody can tell him what to do in his bedroom.

I see the issues surrounding privacy. I respected my son's closed door as with the conflict in the family I know it gave him a sense of safety, but it was too habit forming and enabled him to withdraw, so now I can see a wisdom in the open door policy.

I had one family therapist be very rude to me about opening and closing doors, like I was stupid. MY RIGHT to open or close doors has felt limited. I have a habit of leaving doors unlocked now. and dont feel particularly safe with locked doors anyway ...

For me I had to share beds as well as bedrooms. I wish love was enough for my son.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Merry day to all here!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita@Appleblossom@Shaz51@eth@Zoe7@Exoplanet@outlander and all the long ravers and those who are passing by this Chrissy day wishing everyone a wonderful day with lots of love and kindness heading your way. Love greenpea xxxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Bunniekins, and to you, dear pea. ox 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Merry Christmas to everyone that celebrates it, Merry Day to those that don't

🙂 🙂
@Mazarita, @eth, @outlander, @Appleblossom, @Bunniekins, @Zoe7, @Sophia1, @Teej, @PeppiPatty ,@Shaz51, @Faith-and-Hope
It's just an absolutely gloriously beautiful day for Christmas day 🙂 The sky is a perfect sky-blue blue 😄 There isn't a smudge of cloud not even a whisper of anything to affect the perfect clearness of it There's the gentlest of breezes, tickling the light so that it make the leaves on the crowns of the trees, sparkle. It's not hot! . . . warm, yes, it's a beautiful warm Summer's day 🙂
My day started with a surprise, the fence contractor rang! I was kind of hoping I'd wake up like normal this Xmas, it's usually a very, very early affair . . . with 5 Grandbabies involved 😉 , but I was woken by his call; he rang to say Merry Christmas & asked if I was at home - when I told him I was he then said he had something to give me & he'd be out in 1/2 an hour!!! So Xmas started with a jump {I thought it might be my daughter ringing}, I then needed to get dressed & get down the driveway to unlock the gate {& move the panels I have up to stop the dogs going under the gate 😄 } He arrived shortly after I'd done the gates with a Xmas bag full of delectable goodies, thing is I have a gluten problem & I didn't want to waste the goodies. I explained & he said to take
whatever I could eat - it was lovely, I've already had some corn-chips from it:)
I did unwrap my gift from my Daughter while I was waiting for him to arrive, she
gave me a large bottle of perfume, one that I really like 🙂 I texted her, right
after the fence contractor left, & she rang back almost immediately I got to
speak to her & all the grandbabies {even the eldest}
I had chocolate for breakfast & mangoes for morning tea & lunch {I had Turkey &
salad last night!}, I've been partying with caffeine soft drinks & even the prunings
of a certain herb 😉 I am, honestly, enjoying Xmas day this year - I don't feel lonely,
I feel relaxed. It's being a really lovely day 🙂

My magical Mazy, you sound like your almost barmy busy! 😉 ! All that with sore jaws! I hope the dentist helped & there's no need to return I hear you about shopping! I don't go outside of my little town from mid Dec until mid Jan! I hope the
aircon guy fixed the foul problem, do you have Geckos? I've heard they can get trapped in aircons. Not sleeping or leaving the flat or showering - focusing completely on one particular thing . . . rings a few alarm bells for me. There's a very wise lady that has a very wise saying 'Gently Bently' Glad you got a 'change' day & hope it's been productive in making things better for you I saw that news article, I remember thinking to myself - I wonder if he's on his knees to make it look like the water's up to his chest . . . if not - lucky bastard for having so much water to wallow in! 😄 🙂 😉 I do consciously drink water, coffee isn't a thirst quencher 😉 I keep some in a thermos as the water from the pipes is too hot to drink though the day. I also have fans & I wet the curtains & have several other heat regulating tricks up my sleeve 😉 I thought the dark was coming late these days! No wonder with the Summer solstice having just past - it hasn't been getting dark until 7-8 pm. That must have been a super-strike of lightning to wake so many in the area at the same time; I don't know why, but I find that intriguing, the thought of so many people shifting from subconscious to conscious together. I'm no good with loud noises either, lightning strikes make me physically jump! 😄

Love to all that need or want it, extra for those that need it

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It sounds like you have had a good day @Exoplanet - that is so lovely to hear

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Bunniekins Much love and higs for you for Christmas Day little pea

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Zoe7 Thanks Zoe7 same to you 😄 xxx

15,931 - 15,940 of 27,230