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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello @eth nice to see you again today too

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth, @outlander, sorry for the delay in responding. Mum rang in between posts. She has an ear infection at the moment and we chatted for a bit about how she is, and how I am too.

Thanks for your kind words about the conversation on the other thread, @eth. Those very early morning times have been the only real time I've had clear headspace for real time chat lately. Really glad to have been able to be there during a big event in someone's life.

@outlander, sorry to hear your pop has developed Alzheimers. Hugs for all you are going through.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

sorry to hear about your mums ear infection, they are painful. i hope she recovers quickly from it @Mazarita

Pop hasnt been diagnosed with Dementia as yet but im very sure as is my mum who has worked around those with dementia is sure as well. i cant suggest him to speak to his gp as he gets upset about it so i havent had the chance to talk it out with the gp yet to confirm it. he went down the road and it just took him 20 minutes to find his car and even with a note in his hand of what to grab from the shops he rang me up about it.


thank you for the hugs, i could use those about now. todays just so rough mentally.


In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

The challenges keep coming up for you at this time of your life, @outlander. I'd like to see you get a good break. I believe it won't always be this way for you, but hard when it's happening now. I hope you can get pop to the doctor to work out for sure what's going on. I can understand him being upset about it. I would be very frightened too if I was him. But it would be best for all to know, as there are probably some treatments that might help him, as well as help you (and hopefully other family) in supporting him now. There also may be other professional support services that can help him more too, and make the burden of caring for him lighter. But that would require a diagnosis. I admire so much that are managing it, as evidenced by the fact you actually manage to do what needs to be done, though so hard at times too. Hugs again for all of it.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

thank you for your kinds words Maz, it is really hard and its testing my patience and my ability to cope in this environment esp at this age and with my own problems as well @Mazarita
although i love my pop and my family it would be nice to have a break but im not sure my mind would allow that either, it would still continue to worry about anything and everything..

i unfortuanatly cant force him to the drs and becasue of paitent/dr confidentiality it does make it a little tricker as what i talk to the dr about in a session even if its about pop he cant meantion it to him either so the only way would be to make an appointment where he agrees to it.
makes it tough but i cant do much so ill have to accept it for now.
hugs for you too i know what its like not having much sleep for extended amounts of time

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth hows your quiet day going? howve you been spending your time ?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@outlander, my heart goes out to you. I would be totally overwhelmed if I was in your position and really not able to think clearly or cope. I so admire your greater resilience, but also get how it would feel like you are in the midst of a whirlpool. There is a saying that goes something like: 'when you are going through sh*t, keep going'. It's the only way to get to the other side.

I am heading on off now to get in the shower and get ready. Good to catch up with you in real time today. Hope the tough feelings get a bit easier over the day.

Sorry to have mostly missed you again, @eth. Will continue to be reading and supporting and replying when I'm able, even if not in real time. Good on you for moving forward so steadily with the new activities and challenges arising from your work now with your professional support people. Hope you enjoy the rest of this well-deserved rest day.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

thanks @Mazarita
hope your appointment goes well


@eth im still popping in and out for abit if you want to keep chatting too

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@CheerBear 👋💗

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

👋 @outlander and everyone. Just reading along quietly in between things today and sending oodles of these ❤❤❤ to everyone
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