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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@outlanderThat is a good idea. You dont always have to WORK with the horses. You have a right to be able to calm, quiet and close to the things you love.

Thank you both and @CheerBear for well wishes today. I am trying to get my cat a special brand of dry food with a soft centre and it is sold out on all online and local stores. Must be a lot of old cats around.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

it was really peaceful @Appleblossom i did have quite abit to do at the horses though since i took monday and tuesday off but i got it all done now. but it was nice to sit there with no expecations, no noise, no kids running around or needing to watch them. just sitting with the pony and feeding him some bread while i was there.
the pet food store should be able to order some in for you if you ask them too

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yes I have asked them to order it in, but they still have not called to say they have it.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning to anyone passing here today. Looks like it's been quiet here overnight and today. Hoping folk are doing ok, sending out wishes for peace and strength to all who might want them.

A day at home for me after 2 busy ones out with support worker and celebrating bro and sil's birthdays. Took them to a ramen noodle place last night and it was total chaos in there, they had overlooked my booking and we had to move tables twice, clean our own table and then the food was not something I enjoyed - oily and not at all tasty to me. The others seemed to find it ok but I just ate spring rolls and a couple of pieces of crumbed chicken - totally food I could get at a fast food joint for way less $$. Bi$&h over!

Hope today is going smoothly so far.

@Mazarita @Appleblossom @outlander @CheerBear @Zoe7 @Bunniekins @Exoplanet and @Sophia1 if you're around.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Pity about the restaurant not being up to scratch. @eth but at least you all went out and made some fuss about it.

I just spoke with my support worker.

I think you were right about the fb request to offer me disability employment services. I have pulled out. I am not really ready. My anxiety sky rocketed and I was waking up all rigid etc, and that puts out my neck. I have to face the fact that my son and I have had a torrid year and that my priority should be our transition to the the NDIS. It is good he is thinking about work and study too. We both have a lot of internal pressure to work, but for long term security it is best to get some good plans going with the NDIS and maybe at end of next year, if all is going well, then think about a little bit of work.

Hope you have a good day.

@eth @Mazarita @CheerBear @Zoe7 @outlander and ALL

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Pity about the restaurant not being up to scratch. @eth but at least you all went out and made some fuss about it.

I just spoke with my support worker.

I think you were right about the fb request to offer me disability employment services. I have pulled out. I am not really ready. My anxiety sky rocketed and I was waking up all rigid etc, and that puts out my neck. I have to face the fact that my son and I have had a torrid year and that my priority should be our transition to the the NDIS. It is good he is thinking about work and study too. We both have a lot of internal pressure to work, but for long term security it is best to get some good plans going with the NDIS and maybe at end of next year, if all is going well, then think about a little bit of work.

Hope you have a good day ...

@eth @Mazarita @CheerBear @Zoe7 @outlander and ALL

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

👋 everyone 🙂

@eth sorry to hear your dinner wasn't as you'd hoped. That's disappointing. How are you planning on spending your home day?

@Appleblossom great plan to focus on longer term security and then look into other things you can do. I was busting to study this year but realised it would be too much and had to switch my focus then to a similar long term security kind of thing/s. Now I have (or am getting very close to having) the support, security and stability I need, finishing my degree is right up on my want to do list. Everything crossed for a smooth ndis process for you both.

I've been out doing school stuff with one of mine this morning and am now looking forward to a quiet home afternoon hopefully finishing off a crafty gift. Perfect inside with tea and crochet weather here (grey, cool and wet outside).

Hope the morning has been OK for everyone ❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Appleblossom I'm very sorry to hear about how getting involved with that agency affected you. But glad to hear you have shifted your focus for now and hoping things work out to your benefit, especially with the NDIS journey. If I can help in any way don't hesitate to ask.

Hi @CheerBear hope you're enjoying your peaceful afternoon.

I've been totally lethargic today but not pushing myself to do anything. It's good to have a gentle day the day after seeing my psychologist. I think I'm so snoozy because I took all my meds together later than usual last night because I'd been out, tho' they should have worn off by now. Planning to cook for the clan this afternoon. Cheesy veg and rice gratin this time.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

At home doing crafty things sounds lovely @CheerBear

@eth Cooking foryour clan sounds like they will eat better than last night.

I am glad I did not WAIT, let my unease about it build up, made the decision today and cancelled all relevant things. It is fine now, but accidentally I proceeded with my plans in the diary for tomorrow instead of today, so missed an appointment and did unscheduled work at the zoo. Red face. So yes they really put me off and I am more delicate than I realised. Should follow my own advice and gently bently.

Another thing I did today was working on my saying "no" and being heard. At the zoo, 2 children were approaching and playing with me. They were gorgeous and mum was chatting with us, but the little girl started telling me what she wanted me to do. It killed the play for me, becasue she was insistent that I get up and do certain things with the animals. I have often gone along with another's wishes, (in my family of mothering, after a few months I FELT I had no independent rights) but this time I hedp my ground, nicely, she was insisting for about 10 minutes, but I explained that SHE could do the actions she wanted, but that I was an old lady and was sitting down. In the end she accepted it, took the animal and continued her play. There were no bad feelings and I did not have to submit to another's will.

This was huge for me, as I had unresolved feelings about being bossed around by 4 year olds. Good god even as I listen to myself say this, I cannot believe how I embroiled my self into the toxic dynamics of my failed 16 year marriage.

Life is such a learning curve.

I hope my therapist whose appointment I missed will understand. I left a msg for her when I realised. I had the days totally mixed up.

@eth It just helps having our regular conversations. It helps me get a sense of what is appropriate. I really never had that growing up, with my mother, family, and by the time I had friends I was too placating, and never raised my issues that I wanted to discuss.

Last night, at rehearsal, a lady I had just met started chatting about interventions and human services, and I realised how foreign my experience was. I did not have to disclose to her and it would have been innapropriate she was just rambling on from the postion of her job, and making it social and general. I dont think I put my foot in it like I often do, I just agreed with her, and muttered about how heavy handed the NT intervention was.

Just getting the hang of how much to disclose and when has been a very difficult skill to learn.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning, @eth, @Exoplanet, @Appleblossom, @outlander, @Zoe7 @CheerBear and everyone. I've been mostly missing in action from this discussion thread lately, except for reading and 'supporting' posts. Glad to see the conversation has been continuing in my absence.

So much happening with the video stuff here. It's been steadily ramping up for some weeks now. Yesterday I sent off my award selections for the competition I've been judging. Over 100 videos watched, and a big chunk of them rewatched and watched some more, before coming to my final choices. The only thing that remains to be done now is writing up some notes on each of the six awarded videos. The web page announcing the winners, supporting information and embedded players is scheduled to go public in about a week's time. Other video and related projects have been ramping up too.

I am loving it and feeling excited about this central creative aspect of my life at this time. But, as has often been the case, I have a tendency to go from 0-100 pretty quickly, and then back to 0 again for a while. My mental energy is on a rollercoaster at the moment, and my physical wellbeing is riding up and down with it as well.

I mentioned a little while ago that I have been trying to arrange over the phone some social and other support for my mum through her local council down south. Numerous, and sometimes long phone calls with various staff, all good encounters so far.

Yesterday Mum had her capacities assessment, when a woman from council went out and spent a long time at my mother's flat. They discussed Mum's needs and wants, and the many ways council might be able to help her. Spoke to Mum afterwards on the phone. I was so pleased to hear her feeling happy and excited at the various activities she may be engaging with next year. Recently she has had a bout of depression, partly due to the death of a friend and partly to do with becoming too isolated in her flat due to increasing mobility issues (she lives alone).

I also mentioned not long ago that I had designed a 'photo book' online containing a selection of 24 family pics spanning over 50 years of my life. I was having the book printed and sent to me to check how it looked before ordering another to be sent directly to Mum as a surprise gift. The book arrived yesterday and I am so happy with the result. Last night I spent hours doing extra work annotating the photos for Mum's copy. She may receive it before xmas, or maybe in the new year. Either way, I think she's going to love it, and that makes me smile.

Aside from all this, I've been out and about on the buses and walking to and from destinations in the warm humid weather over the past four days: GP, physio, driver's licence renewal, as well as a really lovely evening out with C and some others for the birthday of our close friend's brother.

I've also been running on only about 3 hours sleep a night this past week. When I haven't been intensely engaged with projects on the computer, I've often been collapsed in the armchair in between, spent and recovering.

Nice to be able to unwind some of what's been happening here this morning!

Love to all who would like it from me.

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