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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Zoe7 Supportive thoughts and hugz from me.

I am sorry the day was not so good.

A good sleep can help. Maybe changing your place of work or the type of teaching organisation would be better than leaving teaching altogether.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning, everyone. First time on the forum since about this same dawn time yesterday. Catching up on posts, and what's been happening for friends here.

@Zoe7, feeling a lot for what you are experiencing with work. Seems like what you are facing there might take a bit of slow and careful thought over time, if possible. Sending good feelings your way for the best outcome eventually. Hoping you feel a bit better and clearer of mind after some sleep, and with a new day.

@eth, I read that you are away for the weekend, but wanted to leave an early morning greeting to you anyway. Hope the night out went great and the time away is enjoyable and refreshing.

@Bunniekins, @Appleblossom, @Exoplanet, @outlander, @Shaz51 and everyone.

This morning I woke to the first sign of light in the sky, as the full moon was setting. My dawn wasn't as spectacular as this image, but still beautiful. Hope it's a good day ahead for all.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Still feeling much the same @Mazarita and wanting to sleep again today. That is a clear sign to me that I need to look for something else and give this job away. I can't be feeling like this every time I have a meeting like this. I can't live up to the expecttions therefore I can't do the job. I put everything I had into the last couple of days at work at it wasn't enough so definitely need to look for something else - just stuck as to what or where to look right now.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I am going to see how this week goes and then talk to HR about what my options are for changing the place of work - thinking though that that may not be agreeable and that the comments of the principal will follow me anyway @Appleblossom - really stuck right now on what to do.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Zoe7, I get what you are saying. I have left many jobs suddenly after getting way too stressed out and extremely anxious about things. If you are anything like me, you might have high standards for yourself too, and when others seem not to be supporting our efforts, it can feel impossible to deal with. It must have been an awful day yesterday for it to have come to this for you, after all your striving to get back to it. Really feeling for your predicament at the moment. Hoping things become clearer in your mind and that perhaps in the new year there might be something much better on the horizon for you.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I have to try to get through the next 4 weeks so I can get paid for the school holidays and begin looking for something else then @Mazarita I honestly don't know how I am going to do that though - I really want to stop now but I also need the money so that makes it even harder. Really stuck snd not knowing what to do next at the moment - wish I could sleep through all this

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hoping the best for you with the next four weeks, @Zoe7. I seem to remember it's a couple of days a week, so I'm guessing it's about 8 days of actual work all up remaining. Maybe that is doable, knowing that you will be out of there at the end? It may not be the best time to be thinking too far ahead while you are under high stress about things at the moment. Maybe just focussing on getting through the final eight days might be enough for now. Guessing there wouldn't be much possibility of securing something for next year until after this year is over? Then, when you have more space to think, there might be more of a chance to consider future options? So sorry things have taken such a turn.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That is kind of where my thinking is also @Mazarita - just get through this next few weeks and have time to look elsewhere afterwards. It is certainly not a good situation but I will need to make a decision at some stage - but I need to make it to the holidays to get paid as well. I can't think straight right now - there is too much to deal with so trying to not think and get through this weekend.

How is your day going?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Glad to hear you are having those kinds of thoughts about just getting through it for now, @Zoe7, then being in a better state of mind to think about the future afterwards. Really sucks though that things have turned out this way for now.

Today is okay so far. I'm still in my nightie and may even go back for some more sleep. It's been a huge week for sleep at my end but did get out last night to see my close friend. First time out of the flat since last Saturday. Taking it easy today as there is an event coming up tomorrow about an hour's drive from here, in a country town where C and I have a friend. There will be more people there than I'm usually okay with these days, so kind of conserving my energy for that.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It's going to be a big day tomorrow for you then @Mazarita I can understand you wanting to conserve your energy for that. I hope you can cope with the amount of people okay

It is good that you got out and saw your friend last night - and have had some sleep - I know that is not always easy for you. I am thinking of sleeping again soon - the sooner this day is over the sooner I get closer to having another day at work completed.

This week will be a half day on Monday and then a full day on Friday - that will be on a new class that I will observe on Monday - all a bit too much really but it is what I need to do to get through this.

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