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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@outlander, sounds nasty. Hope you don't take too much of whatever med you have on hand. I'd suggest googling it to make sure you are not doing any damage by taking it too often. I know one of those over the counter meds that seems fairly innocuous, can be very harmful to the liver if taken too much within a 24 hour period. You probably know what you are doing with it, just want make sure you are okay.

I'm good today, it's been a busy one by my standards. You might remember I mentioned a while back that I'm judging a video competition. I'm having my first video watching session tonight, while C is out visiting a mate. Nice and quiet and I can concentrate.

Better get back to it. Hope things improve for you mate.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

thank you @Mazarita im not going over the doses. just taking the minimal when really needed.

yes i do remember you telling me about being a video judge. good luck with it all, im sure its a good learning experience for you too.
Thank you, i hope your evening if ok for you too

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Enjoy your video session. I short listed in a writing comp a few times. Its a great experience to work both sides of the creative product, get into the heads of the contributors and develop some criteria for choosing....

@outlander Sorry to hear you have so many things for your body to cope with. Inmflammation is a huge issue. Eat up healthy.

@Bunniekins Feeling for you with your son. I made a break through in my son's mid teens by having play fights with weird objects like empty milk cartoons ... something harmless to normalise and help direct the energy without anyone being a real target ....the challenge is to come through and out of the anger without much collateral damage and then they come to believe they have a chance to manage it themselves.

Take Care

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning, @CheerBear. Thinking of you before dawn this morning. Hoping you are still sleeping, as it seems you have been doing lately. If you are awake, I am here if you would like to chat. Otherwise sending love and kind wishes for your day.

Good morning, @eth, @Bunniekins, tagging you into this late night/early morning post too, in case either of you happen to be awake early this morning, and would like to chat. Either way, have a wonderful day, when it arrives.

Good morning, @everyone, may you find some moments of peace and contentment today.

And now a little rave: this is my second awakening of the night, and now early morning. As I often do when I wake like this every couple of hours overnight, I went outside to the courtyard to take in the feel of the night. Often the first thing I look at is the sky, stars and moon, if it's up. The other night when doing this, I was amazed at how bright the stars were, so beautiful. They mostly do not look that way in this regional city where I live.

Tonight the striking aspect of night on the outside, is the stillness and near-silence. There is no wind and the trees and plants seem to stand perfectly still, the quivering of the leaves barely perceptible to the naked eye. It took a good minute or two for the sound of a car on the nearby highway. Usually the traffic flows fairly frequently, day and night. Almost unnerving how quiet it is tonight, at this pre-dawn time. Not even the sound of that night bird that calls so often lately, not even a possum or bat.

Night owl time.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita@outlander@Appleblossom good morning Mazzy, outlander and Appleblossom just to let all know that son2 calmed himself down and was very proud of himself too. Am about to head off to bed I am exhausted. Hope everyone has a great day. Love the pea xxx

@eth beautiful eth haven't seen you for a day so hoping you are okay. Wishing you a lovely day my dear friend eth. Love gp xxxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Bunniekins, so glad to hear your son calmed himself down, and was able to feel good about himself being able to do that. Hope it wasn't too stressful a night for you in the process! Thanks for the update, good to know all is okay. Enjoy your sleep and have a pea'ceful day afterwards.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Morning @Mazarita @eth @Bunniekins @Exoplanet @Appleblossom @Sophia1 and everyone
Hoping you all have a good day

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Mazarita very glad to hear the idea about doing something in the morn before coming on-line is working for you too. I do it at least a few days a week but on days like today when I have no plans I'm slack about it. Telling myself that I did make a coffee before turning on this a.m.!

No worries about the relationship question - as with anything else, I wouldn't answer it if I wasn't ok about doing so. And it's a topic that's been on my mind recently, especially that realization that I wouldn't have been on the receiving end of abuses nearly so much if I hadn't had such a mindset about being a wife or parenting another child some day. So ridiculous when I see it now, but sad too. It's a bit like that image of being chained up but seeing that I was hanging onto the chains and only had to let go to be free. That exact image came up in a dream recently, where one of my exes (the more recent DV one) had me chained to him on a motorbike and I was holding the chain in my teeth. Very disturbing at the time needless to say. Lots of realizations in my psych EMDR sessions the last couple of weeks, including seeing how much I repeated my parents' patterns and modeling in my relationships.

A little light chat in the morning!

Hope your day went to plan yesterday, and that your physio exercises are helping alleviate your foot pain. You sound very organized with setting up a spreadsheet to keep track of the videos you assess. I wouldn't know how to do that. And glad to hear that you are getting paid to do it.

Look forward to a chat sometime today hopefully.

Hi also to @Appleblossom @Bunniekins @Exoplanet @outlander @Sophia1 @Shaz51 @CheerBear @Faith-and-Hope and anyone else around today. Hope it's started gently for you all.

The exhibition I went to yesterday was really good. The work of the local uni's 3rd year students. Each artist did about 6 works including flora and fauna plates, an infographic and a sculpture - my favourite was one that was all about coucals (my favourite bird), by a student who chose to study extinct and endangered species and used the 10 species of coucal (who knew?) to elaborate on that theme. There was another one about cockatoos, one about a particular frog species (golden something), one about the blue-ringed octopus and several more. Including plates examining diet and habitat. Fascinating. This was not the same exhibition that I didn't get to previously, that was by Cook's botanists on at the National Gallery in Canberra while I was there, but I spent my time with family and didn't get there. And there was another one last year that I got to that was all about different types of moth by two women artists early last century. I love botanical drawings as I studied botany and botanical medicine many years ago. It's wonderful to see knowledge being preserved about endangered or extinct species tho' sad that it's necessary. There are seed and gene banks in the world now just in case such species can be re-created in the future. Science is so good sometimes, but addressing climate change and deforestation etc - human-caused problems - is getting urgent. I could rant here!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Appleblossom it's great to hear you say you have a better self-care model these days and that life is certainly better. Very happy for you.

@Bunniekins I really hope things settled with your son last night. Thinking of you xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita I LOOOVE that picture you posted of 2 dream catchers looking like an owl!.. We've had a tawny frogmouth visit a couple of nights lately.

Happy new moon to all who mark it. It's a good time for focusing on what we want to develop or manifest over the next few weeks. Even do a 'vision board' - drawing or collaging or just writing our wishes. I'll have a go at it later perhaps.

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