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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I too have just really enjoyed reading your post @Appleblossom. I felt your enthusiasm! How awesome 🙂

Hiya @Mazarita. I have a relative who did an incredible amount of research into our family history. I thought about this relative after reading your post, and how much more attention I could have paid, when they tried to speak to me about it a long time ago. I think I really need to find a way to reconnect with them and get some of it down where I can remember it for myself and my kids before it's too late. There is something special about thinking of how we really are all connected 🙂

It's super cool that you've managed to find and sustain those relationships. I can picture you as being a real gift of a friend.

The nest has been quiet today. I had a sick little at home today, who went to bed at 5 and has stayed there all night. It's my clown fish, who usually oozes life and sparkle, so to see them down is a bit sad. I think they'll be home again tomorrow with the temperature they have had tonight. They're in my bed where I am heading to read for a while very soon, so I'll be there to dish out water etc if they need throughout the night.

Nice to bump into you tonight Mazarita. Hope you sleep well.

Night x

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Night, @CheerBear. Hope the little clown fish is feeling better in the morning, and that you get some quality sleep in between possible necessary awakenings. Great idea to make contact with your relative with the family history interest. I have put some of my research on a blog site, to make it a bit more accessible to younger relatives who might find an interest at some point. It's not something I appreciated much when I was younger either. I got curious in my late forties. You would be a lovely friend to find in real life too.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Dearest @Appleblossom,

What have you learned ?

I discovered that I kept on doing ...."self care,' that suited my neighbourhood / immediate family or what was happening around me. I got my support worker and me to listen to Jon kzabat Zinn for meditation and I think his positive talk has rubbed onto both of us.

It's been very difficult to sway around all my self care but it'smaking me a lot happier.

Sorry everyone, I got some shocking news this afternoon and I'm trying to digest it.

We went to see his wonderful Psychiatrist and he said that Mr G was very ill when he went to hospitsl,

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@PeppiPatty Sorry to hear about your bad news. Walking with you sister.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@PeppiPatty very sorry to hear you've had bad news. Sending you warm wishes for strength.

@Appleblossom beautiful picture. Loved your post about the tortoises and lion cubs. Are you working at a zoo?

Hi @Mazarita hopefully you're still sleeping soundly and have had another good night.

Good morning @CheerBear hoping your little fish is starting to feel better.

Hi @outlander if you're around.

I'm around for a while if anyone feels like talking.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @eth and thank you 🙂 My little fish is still in bed so it's hard to tell whether they're feeling better yet. How are you this morning? Any plans for the day today?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning, @eth and @CheerBear, nice to see you again at this early hour. Not such a great sleep here last night but I have a morning appointment with a medical specialist so I think I'll stay awake now. Anything on the agenda for today? I have art group after my morning appointment, always enjoyable.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @CheerBear @Mazarita

I have the last session of the living beyond abuse course on this morning and early afternoon. They are putting 2 weeks info into 1 session so I imagine it'll be fairly full-on. As helpful as it's been (and will continue to be) I'm glad this is the end of it.

I've had a challenging time with one of the women in the group and will not miss her. But some of the others are interesting and friendly so I just might come home with a phone number or two. I hope so. Doing such soul-baring work together brings a type of closeness amongst us.

After that I don't have plans. Usually it's rest/nap time after these sessions.

Hope your appointment goes well and art group is fun @Mazarita and hope your morning is cheerful @CheerBear and your littlie isn't too crook.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sorry to hear sleep wasn't great @Mazarita. Hope art group is great today. That's a nice thing to look forward to after your appointment.

@eth - Mixed feelings for you by the sounds of it today. I can imagine how much might be brought up in a course like that, and how it can bring people together.

My day will mostly depend on what state the little wakes up in. I have an appointment with my MH worker to make a plan for how to get through some tricky dates in the next couple of weeks, which I am looking forward to as plans help me feel secure and comfortable. I'll probably get out my trusty go-to blanket today too.

I can hear little feet down the hallway, so it's a quick visit here this morning as I'll head off now and do the brekkie/race for the shower thing.

Hugs to both (all) of you for the day ahead

💗

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, understandable that you might want an easy afternoon after an intense session. Fingers crossed for the phone numbers to follow up afterwards. Sounds like it might be good to have some friendly and interesting women to debrief with after the course, and to help each other in an ongoing way.

Interesting that you were challenged by one woman in the group. I went to a women's group last year but could only bear one session because of one woman in the group who dominated with hate filled monologues about her ex. I really felt the facilitator needed to pull this woman back from dominating so much, though I understood her anger and need. But in the absence of that boundary to meet the needs of all in the group, not just this one woman, I stopped going. I may try a different women's group in future, though I'm not that keen on 'instructional' groups at this time, more interested in shared therapeutic activities, such as art or laughter yoga.

@CheerBear, hope the little fish are all much more fit today, and that your plans with your MH worker ease your mind. Ciao for now.

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