FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

14,531 - 14,540 of 27,230

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth .... 👋💕

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Faith-and-Hope hope life is going smoothly for you

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello Everyone 🙂

I had a frustrating day yesterday. The puppies were due for their booster shots, so I took them into the Vet, I go to the next town over. The earliest appointment was 4 hours away . . . 4 hours! This town is a little bigger than mine, it's got a Woolworths grocery shop, but it's still a 1 main street town. I wish my brain would function when I'm out or at least let me make phone calls, it would avoid these marathon waits or double trips; & I tell you what by the end of the 4 hours I was wishing I'd chosen a double trip, it's what I do for things in the city - 1 trip to make the appointment & another to return for that appointment.

The little fella was a bit of a sh*t, you'd think it would be the American staffy, the renowned pitbull/pigdog, dangerous breed . . . but no, it was the little white velvet living stuffed toy! He broke through one of a flyscreens in the ute canopy window & nearly jumped out at another one of those pitbull/pigdogs! It was a pretty warm day & I was finding it hard to get spots in the shade to park, so I didn't want to have to shut that window, so I put him on a lead attached to one of the tie-downs in the back of the ute - I don't like tying him up on his collar, I have a harness for him . . . he got out of the harness! as the tree I'd parked under was outside a houseyard that happened to have a Rottweiler in it!!! . . . . & for such a cute, adorable little dog, he has such a big, loud, embarrassing bark 😉

We sat in a little park in the main street for 1/2 hour or so, it was a lovely park, it had a bed of roses that all had beautiful sweet scents to them 🙂 My mind says the park was too busy, the reality is the park had 2 other people visit {not at the same time}; but that was too many for me 😉 I found a couple of other parks, but 1 had a tractor mowing it & the other looked like it was part of the school yard - I couldn't bring myself to go into either of them.

I went & looked at a couple of 2nd had shops, even bought the long top/dress that I'm wearing today, it's a hippy type garment, tie dyed in sky blue, lime green & purple with silver sequins added to the sky blue embroidered flower-power design . .. I like it 😄 Although I was really trying to avoid spending any money, I really need to tighten that financial belt right up & get some money back into my savings! I did a little grocery shopping, just the basics, time to make some pancakes & get creative with lentils 🙂 I also visited the library, as my card will work in any of the towns in my region. This library has a self-serve set-up, a screen tells you what to do & there's a gadget for unlocking the dvd's beside it. I had to get help from the librarian, who told me that the pictures on the screen show you how to hold things - thing is, I'd pressed the button before I'd properly looked at the picture on that screen. Felt a bit stupid, but maybe next time I'll remember to look?

Finally the appointment time arrived & this time it was the staffy that was a bit of an embarrassment. He was fine with the injection but I also had their nails clipped . . . & he wasn't so fine with that. He did split 1 once, he had to go under anaesthetic & have it removed {which is why whenever I take them into the vets I get their nails trimmed}. We all ended up on the floor & changed positions so many times, but eventually they got done 🙂

Considering I'd left home before lunch, the fact that it was tea-time & the sun was setting when we got home, was a little daunting for me. Luckily just driving down my road towards my property is uplifting for me these days, as I look upon my beautiful stand of perfectly straight lined fence 🙂 It gets even better when I pull up at those gorgeous gates 😄 It's a thrill just to be able to leave the houseyard gate open, not to have to open & close it while I have bags of shopping in my hands. Once I put the shopping inside, we went back out that already open houseyard gate & had a walk around our wonderful block of land 🙂 {it was much needed after sitting around in the car for soooooo many hours}.

So the frustrating day had finally came to an end, I knew it would 😉 I've got another one coming up tomorrow {unless I can't face it & put it off for another day}, the cars clutch fluid failed the test when I got the maintenance done & it's been a month since I got the brakes fixed, it also needs a new air filter . . . so much for not spending much money . . . maybe lots of pancakes & lentil meals 🙂

Phew, that was quite the rave!

@MazaritaI hope you get into the doctors soon & Woo Hoo for the Dutch display 😄

@Sophia1You accomplish many things, we can share our feelings of pride & achievement

@ethI'm still feeling that family love radiating from every pixel of every letter you type on the screen 🙂

@AppleblossomDammed right fence jubilation is a thing 😄 😄 😄

@BunniekinsI am happy, it's been like taking a elevator up to another level 🙂

@CheerBearGet well soon

@outlanderHoping you get a rest day today

Love to all that need or want it :heart

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

❤️ @Exoplanet ......

@eth, it’s having is smooth moments ..... lol ..... but nowhere near as bumpy as it was when I arrived on the forums. We have sort of settled into a routine around mr.f&h’s regimen, and that works most of the time, but we still have plenty of wobbly going on with the three home-kids, who are affected by our situation (but nowhere near as badly as if we had left / had to leave..... so I am grateful for that much). Mr. has his flare-ups, but that is going to happen until he gets sorted with his mi. There is far less distorted thinking going on when we leave him alone, however there was one of those on Sunday, and another dropped ball, I found out this morning ..... still, nothing like the storms we were having before.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @CheerBear, @eth, @Exoplanet and all, got into the doctors at 8.45am. C fortunately took the day off work to make sure things were ok with me today. He drove me to the docs. She then decided to send me to hospital in an ambulance!

So here I am in hospital gown on a bed in an ER cubicle, drip connection in my hand so the can take blood tests from me easily while monitoring me for who knows how long. Also connected up to ECG machine, with a blood pressure monitor wrapped around my arm. It goes off periodically, pumping up with air and then deflating again. I've also had chest xrays. The pain in my chet through to my back is still there, 10 hours of it now, but not severe. They asked me if I needed pain relief before, but I felt it was mild enough to judt do without. C is here by my side. Another bulletin from me when I know more.

ox

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Oh @Mazarita 😔 That sounds horrible. So glad you're there where they can work out what's going on and keep an eye on things. Also really glad to hear C is with you.

Huge big love and hugs. Thinking of you ❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita 💕 💕 💕

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@CheerBear, @outlander, @eth, @Exoplanet, just waiting on a doctor to check my xray results and then it looks like they are sending me home. All the other tests have come back okay, though blood pressure still a bit elevated and I still have mild aching in my chest. Will be referred to outpatients cardiology for some more exploration of these remining things. In short, it seems as though I'm not going to have a heart attack today! 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Woohoo - not having a heart attack is always a good thing @Mazarita 😉🙂

Hopefully this might mean your outpatients appointment isn't too far away also.

Hope the rest of your afternoon is gentle and restful ❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thank you @eth

I avoided the hoo ha of the apology this time. Just a 2 min look online. The redress process had me very delicato last week ... and I have had heaps going on for both my son and myself so needed to maintain our course..

I did not need more triggering into pain, grief or anger. Just noted it with calm. At times I go and sit on certain monuments (one in the city and one in Geelong) that commemorate the people and the issues.

Next week I will have an hour session that will be very difficult re redress.

Til then I have 3 sessions in a concert hall with choir and orchestra ... which I hope will keep me afloat and not let me crumble.

Sons gf and I trying to talk son into coming too ... she is already involved ... I went for first time tonight ...it would be good for him... if he is ready ... but he self limits ... this would be easy for him as he has already done the work ... and not a pressure to learn ... he did it last 7 years ago .. and it was hard then ... now it would be easy for him ... and good to reflect on ... should be more fun and maybe make new contacts ...its also big enough but anonymous enough for it not to be a mum and son thing ... they need him ... it does not cost ... I just have to get him to see how many possibilties there are ....we will see.

I have also got a jazz night coming up ... so LOTS distraction. Need it.

@Exoplanet

I can relate to finding parks to spend time in. Sorry the lil guyz were misbehaving.

@Mazarita

@Faith-and-Hope I am glad things have settled a little since you joined the forum. Even tho things are difficult. Was family art session alright. We used to have lots family art sessions when my kids were younger ... now I guess I am going for family music sessions ... YAY for the wonderful ARTS in general.

14,531 - 14,540 of 27,230