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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I chat with Dr Google sometimes also @Mazarita. It can be a great source of information and being informed is really important to me 🙂 Glsd to hear nothing out of the ordinary is happening, though understanding that your ordinary may not be so great. Hugs ❤

I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed, a lot tired, and kind of/lots of ugh. It's a bit full on here sometimes and it seems it will be for a while to come. The last few weeks have been very heavy and big.

Plans today preparing for an interstate visitor to arrive for a few days. We've turned the playroom into a spare room and put a single bed in there, but there's some washing and groceries that need to be done too. It will be good for well one to have them here I think 🙂

I had my house inspection notice arrive the other day also. More ugh, haha. I think you had one recently? How did it go (sorry - I may have missed that one)?

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita o0o0o0o0oooo ... I wonder what it is all I have is triangle of doom thingy atm.... How are you Mazzy? I am about to head back to bed so maybe when I next get up the pic will be showing..... Love greenpea xxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@CheerBear, it's a major time in your life and of those you care about. Huge hugs, which don't seem to be enough to convey how much I feel for what you are going through. A busy time too, with interstate visitor and the associated tasks and energy required for that. Glad to hear the visitor may be helpful to well one at this time. I hope you find their presence of some consolation too. Is it someone you know well?

@Bunniekins, I'm good this morning, aside from a headache I've had since yesterday afternoon. Went to craft group yesterday, and instead of making halloween baubles as the others were doing, I took my colouring in book and did that for a couple of hours. It was good to have some company and chat with the staff and participants. We are mostly all pretty familiar with each other, being regulars at the mental health centre for a long time now. Bit of walking around the village shops there afterwards, including op shops and my favourite bakery for lunch. Wondering what you've been up to lately. By the way, I think the image has cleared moderation now, if you are still around. Good stuff for today to you.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Mazarita ❤ An aunty is coming. She's someone who in the last couple of years has reconnected with parent and they're close-ish now. I know her well enough. She's very strong and tough, but funny and her heart is big.

Great to hear about your day yesterday. Cant believe how much bigger Halloween is getting each year. I'm not a huge fan of it but the kids have a school dress up thing for it soon and I'm half excited about doing costumes and fun for it with them 🙂

I'm going to head off and try and read some of a book I started a couple of weeks ago but havent had the time or headspace to pick up since. I hope the day ahead is a good one for you.

Morning and best wishes for your day @Bunniekins.

💗 to all

(And a huuuuge woohoo and go you with your fence @Exoplanet. So awesome! 🐕❤😊)

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Halloween, phooey, I say, @CheerBear, lol. Glad to hear you might get some laughs with your aunty. Enjoy your reading while the day is still quiet.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Morning @Mazarita

Just wanted to briefly respond to your message about your comment below about these various representatives of mh made you feel rather lacking. I feel this is a misrepresentation and you should feel in no way lacking. Many of these representations lack real lived experience. I discussed this with my therapist yesterday who has been caring for her own son with a serious mental health condition for over 20 years and I find her an inspiration. Our combined assessment is that it is a systemic problem not yours! I was discussing the use of the term in remission and her comment was that many medico feel if you take some magical mood stabilizer with an antipsychotic then you will be in complete remission. They also use labels like bipolar 1, 2, schizo affective, hypomanic etc in their magic bibles like the DSM-IV (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, a publication of the American Psychiatric Association), to give them a complete understanding of how they can diagnose and treat mh. This is complete bs and as you and others, with lived experience know, these magical pills while giving the medico the ability to say their patients are in remission and now lack suicidal risk so will not cause society risk, they lack the ability to see individual variations and the fact that life still remains a daily struggle for those suffering and caring for mental illness. One of the most impressive medicos with actual real lived experience of mh health is Rufas May and I have mentioned him to greenpea previously. He gets it. I can send you an article he has written about this if you are interested.

This is in no way your responsibility and therefore should not make you feel lacking! The little things like your clean sheets and Star Trek are what actually counts and how everyone in society, whatever their state of mh, copes with those is what matters. You are an amazing inspiration to many! I felt much better after reading your kind support for my struggles with my son. I saw my therapist yesterday before leaving and she felt I just need a bit of a break which I’m having now, then I will feel as fresh as your clean sheets in a week to 10 days. You and others like @Bunniekins on this forum really make an impact to a lot of others lives and that’s amazing. Have an awesome weekend and keep truck’n xxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita The pic is adorable!!!! Love it!!! Should have it tatooed to my forehead lol. I have been doing lots of exercise to lose the weight 🙂 eating healthily (with the odd chocolate bar) and being a good pea. I have been seeing my psych regularly and my mh nurse. All is good and quiet on the pea's front.

How are you going with all your work that you are doing?! Last time we spoke you were a super busy Mazzy. I hope it has calmed down a bit for you. Yesterday sounds like it was a restful day for you which is good.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Bunniekins, glad to hear the pea is being so good. Hope you have been on some enjoyable outings with the Irish nurse, and are still enjoying the lilt of her voice.

That busy period I was facing has come to a sudden end, just as suddenly as it started. I spiralled into very high anxiety about the paid commission for the video, which blocked my creative process completely, and I had to withdraw from the project. The deadline for the work was really unreasonable for my pace of working and it was hard trying to meet the high expectations of others. I find my creativity flows well for the most part when I am in the drivers seat with it all, so that's what I'll be sticking to from now on.

I think I did the right thing in backing out, as life is more important than art, and I need to take care of my mental health more than reach dizzier heights with my small artistic 'career'. However, I swung into a week of feeling like a failure after pulling out, getting depressed about that, not leaving the flat, too much time in bed, not showering or doing any cleaning tasks, etc. The usual troubled reactions from me to external stress.

Just the past couple of days I've picked up again. Thursday was a good day with lots of cleaning of me, my bed, and all my dirty washing, amongst other things. Yesterday was also a big day for me in light of recent events, though it only involved craft group and wandering around local shops. It was my first time of being independently out of the flat for about two weeks. I came home exhausted!

Today, no plans, but that's okay. Will take a cruisy day of feeling okay, and get back into the activities next week, when the mental health centre is open again and there are other things to be done.

@Dadcaringalone, you are so kind to try to reassure me about my occasional feelings of inadequacy about the long term progress with my mental health. It's one of those things where I know intellectually I needn't feel that way, but do anyway. The heart doesn't always respond to what the brain is telling it in my experience.

It's not too emotionally heavy for me though, more a questioning process about the whole concept of 'Recovery' that seems to be the current model of viewing and disseminating information about mental illness. I suspect that government policy has something to do with it, as in trying to get everyone into the workplace, regardless of disabilities, or whether it's going to make them worse.

I'm cynical about politics and its frequent heartlessness about real people's lives, especially those in disadvantaged positions in society. From my many, many experiences over a lifetime of trying to find myself an ongoing place in regular employment, I consider the modern workplace a breeding ground for mental illness in so many cases, due to the extremely high stresses placed on people these days.

Having said that, there probably are many people who do benefit from being in the workplace, despite struggling with mental illness. No easy answers and these are just the kinds of thoughts that circulate in my mind sometimes.

How great that you have a therapist who can so closely relate to your experience of caring for your son. I tend to agree it's a systemic problem that we are talking about. I have a lot of respect for individual mental health professionals and their motives, which mostly seem to be about trying to help, even when I disagree with their frame of reference at times.

I've seen some psychiatrists and doctors I've considered outright bad at their job and actually damaging to my mental health, usually only for very short periods (I'm not stupid, lol). But most of the ones I have seen have helped me in one way or another in my life. Even the psychiatrist I saw for a couple of years, who seemed so disinterested, made 'humourous' comments at my expense, and often left me walking home from sessions in tears... he was the one who helped me secure a disability pension, which has been an absolute life saver for me.

I'm not against the diagnoses, as eventually getting the bipolar diagnosis has helped me in material ways, like getting the disability pension I so needed, and also receiving more appropriate medication treatment that has been a lot more helpful to my life than what came before. But I also see that ongoing 'management' (my preferred term) of mental illness, often needs psychiatry and medications, as well as psychology and social support. I also think that there needs to be more recognition that, at least in some cases and even with all of the support mentioned above, it can be a chronic condition and a daily struggle throughout a whole life. I'd be interested to read Rufus May if you would share a link.

It makes me feel very worthwhile that you felt better after reading my post the other day. Enjoy your well deserved break. Are you going somewhere relaxing and refreshing?

Star Trek does make me happier, lol! So I'll keep on trekk'n, as I've always done. Sending many good feelings your way.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

just dropping these off to you all

@Mazarita@Bunniekins@Dadcaringalone@CheerBear@Shaz51@Faith-and-Hope@eth@Exoplanet@PeppiPatty@Appleblossom@Teejand all those passing through

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

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