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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Morning @Mazarita 😊

How was your afternoon/evening yesterday?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@CheerBear, the afternoon and evening went better than the morning yesterday. Getting out to visit my friend helped. How have you been travelling?

Wonder if @eth is awake super early for her trip today too.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That's great to hear @Mazarita.

I've been OK enough thanks. Found a nice balance of 'doing' and 'being' yesterday which left a good feeling when I went to bed.

Anything on for you today?

Hi @eth if you're up, also 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@CheerBear, I like that concept of balancing 'doing' and 'being'. I think I need to 'do' a bit more at the moment.

I have a breast screen today. Hoping the weather eases up a bit before I head out on the buses. It's a wild and woolly night here: rainy, whooshy-windy, banging noises happening intermittently from unsecured items being rattled loose around the neighbourhood.

Anything particular happening for you today?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That balance finding was a rare experience for me @Mazarita 😉

Good luck with the screen today. Enjoyed reading your description of the weather there. Do you find that kind of weather can be unsettling? We're having quite warm days with maybe a storm about this week too.

Not sure about today. Maybe a hospital visit but we'll see. I'd like to mow soon. It's one of my favourite house jobs 😉

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I think the last time I mowed, it was one of those ancient rotary mechanical things, @CheerBear. The joys of living in flats most of your life. That also reminded me of another domestic item from a bygone era: carpet sweepers. I'm guessing you might not even remember them. They were good! And that just reminded me I used to be scared of vacuum cleaners when I was a kid. Given that C does most of the vacuuming these days, it seems I still am scared of them!

And now for something not so free-associative...

Yes, the weather. It is kind of unsettling. And yet it happens so rarely here, it's kind of enjoyable. Mostly it's beautiful one day, and the same again the next.

I realise that was a weird post. I blame it on the weather!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Love weird posts @Mazarita 😆 I remember those carpet sweepers! I dont know if it is that I am older than I think I am, or if maybe my parents were fans of old stuff, but they had one. Probably in mission brown or that funky orange colour from memory. That's funny to think of - I would have been very young!

Also had a phone that we had to turn the dial to get to numbers and a record player in the house when I was little too. My kids cant even imagine what life was like without flatscreen devices and high speed internet. It's funny to chat with them about sometimes.

Weather can have a big impact on me too and those wild and windy nights I find unsettling sometimes too. Our weather can be so jumbled. I had a big thick winter coat on toward the end of last week, and yesterday I had two kids playing in water in their undies!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Love it that you remember those things too, @CheerBear! Going even further back, I remember we had a black and white TV with bulbs in it (I was so impressed my mum knew how to fix it by changing a bulb). And then there was the 'radiogram' (basically a big wooden item of furniture with a record player and a 'wireless'). Don't know why it needed to be so big, but I remember playing 78rpm records on it (but they were old even then). Oh yes, the phones with rotary dials on them too, yep!

Funny about the weather where you are. I'm wearing my big thick fluffy dressing gown as we speak. Normally would be roasting in it this time of year.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I had no idea that TVs used to have bulbs that needed changing @Mazarita 😯 That is hard for me to imagine! My Dad told me that when he was younger my grandparent came home very excited about colour TV. He had purchased something that you fitted over the TV to make it look coloured, which my Dad was very disappointed with haha. I can't get my head around that one either.

Theres a very funny YouTube series of kids exploring older technology. They film them trying to work out things like VCRs and cassette players. I feel so old watching it 😆

No blanket for me last night. We've swapped weather 😁

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I rarely watch anything on YouTube, @CheerBear, but I can imagine how funny that might be. Funny story too about the 'coloured' TV. Take your pick: red, yellow or blue. I do remember well when my mum got a real colour TV. I was in my teens. It was so exciting!

We've had days and days or rain and some storms here. Same for the next four days according to forecast. Strange weather for these parts. Glad you are getting some of the good stuff though.

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