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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

hi All,

Thank you for the comments on me @eth I feel like,as I was saying to one of my dearest friends last night...........that I will never forget the good things in my life.

How are you Apple, @Appleblossom ? sending you a big hug and slipping you a yummy scone cream and strawberry jam on a plate next to a cuppa...........

Im so sorry about your son @Dadcaringalone This is not easy.......but as you know, the most important thing is that you manage your life well.

In writing that I am recounting all mistakes on my hands, toes, my dog, Arlo's paws, all knickknacks, many other reminders...........

@Mazarita@Former-Member @outlander @Shaz51 @Smc @Baboo

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

So nice to hear you are recalling the good times @PeppiPatty. It's something I struggle with tho' I know they must have happened at some time. Recurrent traumatic events seem to have eclipsed my happy memories. And then there's the challenge of working out which of those times were when I was stable and which were during periods of mania.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

hello @eth

I think that you have heard from your daughter? I think that I saw something written somewhere...

so forgive me if I get this wrong...just do not have the headspace to read back..

each moment that you share will be precious for you all...

life can be such a ***** at times...can put so many tests in our pathways...

I try to be grateful for what I receive now rather than what I hoped for...

@Dadcaringalone I might respond to your other thread that you use more often unless there is one that you prefer to use when discussing your son's and your's situation..

hello all others...hope to get back to writing on here as a whole person one day...take care

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sending warm wishes @Sophia1

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Mazy
I didn't mean that I'd confused you 🙂 I hope I haven't in the past, though due to how
I worded my post it's clear I have now 😄 I just meant people in general in my past ❤️

Eth
Glad to hear your Daughter has contacted you, I find it's a very settling feeling even
if they are upset. In fact I find it humbling, honourable, that when they're upset, they
choose to contact you ❤️

Yesterday was pretty big by my standards. I had a good session with the patient lady 🙂
Then I did my grocery shopping, I'd forgotten my bags, I keep 2 in my handbag but that
wasn't enough, so I just loaded it all back into the trolley & then put it all in back
of my ute {like I do, & have done for a long time, at Aldi's :)} I went into the vets &
got my puppies flea, tick & worm treatment & while I was there asked about bringing the
Staffy in to weigh him; I got him this neat little doggie back pack, at first just because
I thought it was a novel idea for him to cart his own stuff. But I got to thinking & tried
putting a little weight in it during our on-lead walks - it made an amazing difference!
So I checked it up a bit online & discovered the most I should be putting into it is a
1/4 of his body weight. The vet said I could take him in any time, free of charge 🙂 I
got home from town & emptied the car & then put the puppies in & took them for a forest
walk. Phew! Of course when we got home it was time to feed everyone in the household 🙂
& it's become my routine to do the dishes at that time too. I'd also had a bath before
I visited the patient lady, so all in all, a big day for me 🙂

Mazy
I didn't mean that I'd confused you 🙂 I hope I haven't in the past, though due to how
I worded my post it's clear I have now 😄 I just meant people in general in my past ❤️

Eth
Glad to hear your Daughter has contacted you, I find it's a very settling feeling even
if they are upset. In fact I find it humbling, honourable, that when they're upset, they
choose to contact you ❤️

Yesterday was pretty big by my standards. I had a good session with the patient lady 🙂
Then I did my grocery shopping, I'd forgotten my bags, I keep 2 in my handbag but that
wasn't enough, so I just loaded it all back into the trolley & then put it all in back
of my ute {like I do, & have done for a long time, at Aldi's :)} I went into the vets &
got my puppies flea, tick & worm treatment & while I was there asked about bringing the
Staffy in to weigh him; I got him this neat little doggie back pack, at first just because
I thought it was a novel idea for him to cart his own stuff. But I got to thinking & tried
putting a little weight in it during our on-lead walks - it made an amazing difference!
So I checked it up a bit online & discovered the most I should be putting into it is a
1/4 of his body weight. The vet said I could take him in any time, free of charge 🙂 I
got home from town & emptied the car & then put the puppies in & took them for a forest
walk. Phew! Of course when we got home it was time to feed everyone in the household 🙂
& it's become my routine to do the dishes at that time too. I'd also had a bath before
I visited the patient lady, so all in all, a big day for me 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Sophia1

Thanks for your kind comments and support. It’s fine to respond anywhere. Best regards

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@PeppiPatty

Couldn’t agree more! Self care in the key! I could feel my mental health slipping away last week so I spent the weekend in Sunny Canberra in a free apartment provided by my brother, then caught up with some old school friends for Saturday dinner. It helped me recharge my batteries for the challenges which I have already started to face for this week. My cousin who has been caring for my Aunty with bipolar since she was 21 kept on emphasizing how critical self care is and kept on repeating it to me. I saw a carer support worker this morning, meeting a psychologist I used a couple of years ago tomorrow and then another case worker on Thursday. It’s difficult to find support for carers but it’s out there if you really need it and are prepared to search it out. My usual psychologist who is like a friend, who has a son like mine for the last 20 years, has been overseas and she’s back next week. Then I’m planning a break at the end of the month for my birthday. Thanks for asking. Take care

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

hello @Dadcaringalone, @Mazarita, @Exoplanet, @eth, @PeppiPatty, @Sophia1

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Dear @eth,

yes...... I know what your talking about. Today........ when I was running around doing stuff I still ..... still had memories ...... like wells of sadness about my home that I lost. It’s absolutely ridiculous that I’m still dreaming about a sad event that happened over 18 years ago and even thou I don’t own a home 🏠 anymore I still dream about it,

then I dream about being the happiest iv ever been. Then back to that.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Mazarita @Exoplanet @Dadcaringalone @Shaz51 @PeppiPatty and anyone else around this morning.

Maz I hope your muse is up and running by now and that you're enjoying the video creating process.

@Dadcaringalone fantastic to hear that you have support and self-care happening.

Peppipatty so nice that you return to the good memories often. It's a goal of mine.

Support worker for me again today. Going to the psychologist first and then to a major shopping centre to find gifts for adult child and granddaughter. Starting to be quite excited about seeing them, and especially their new baby. I want to get some foods adult child can eat - they are on low fodmap and lactose free diet, it's not easy to shop for treats for them. So far I've got some pure maple syrup and some macadamia nuts. And for my granddaughter 4 1/2 yo I want to get a beginner's music tuition book as I recently gave her a keyboard. I also already got a colouring book and a learning to write book. Anticipating next week with joy!

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