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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A Long Rave

Good morning, @Exoplanet. We have landed online at the same time. It's great to hear your daughter rang you, even though she is going through tough times. Wonderful that she is seeking help. I hope the calls increase in frequency over time and more. Your patience seems a wise way of being with this. I was wondering when you might next be seeing the patient lady. So glad you have her in your life. Thanks for your message yesterday too. Haven't had a chance yet to respond to earlier messages. Yours are always appreciated. Love to you, and may your day in town unfold kindly.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A Long Rave

Morning @CheerBear
Hugs for the tough stuff. A date with crochet and a beanbag sounds :ok_hand:😁

Morning @eth thank you for theencouragement and for the offer to help. Thats really nice of you.❤ I started it last night and its pretty hard but i dont mind. If im up for it after the dentist ill have a look at next section which is actully interpreting medical reports!.


@Exoplanet i hope your time with the patient lady goes well and im relaly glad your daughters seeking help. Im not surprised your missing them though. Hugs ❤


Morning also @Appleblossom @Mazarita @PeppiPatty @Teej @saturnzoon @Shaz51 @Faith-and-Hope and all passing through ❤

In response to: A long rave

Re: A Long Rave

good morning @Exoplanet, @Mazarita, @outlander, @eth, @CheerBear

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

Good morning, @outlander, @Shaz51, @eth

Just got off from talking on the phone to the curator. Have to go again now. Hope to catch up again very soon. Lovely to see you all this morning and hope your day holds some sweet surprises.

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

Hi @Exoplanet great that your eldest is talking with you about what's going on. I am sure you'd be a great support to them. Hope today in town goes alright for you.

@Mazarita @CheerBear @Appleblossom @outlander @Shaz51 and others who see this .......

I just had a call from my adult child at last (very emotional and struggling with establishing everything a new baby requires and on top of that the recent death of a friend and the approaching date of sprinklling their grandmother's ashes). I let them know I was a safe person to let their emotions out with. It was nevertheless wonderful to hear their voice and I had a great chat with my 4 1/2 yo granddaughter too. I could hear baby mewling in the background. The daddy is doing an amazing job of supporting the family too. Feeling really happy to have heard from them and a lot less worried than I was.

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

Good to catch you all this morning
Have to head to dentist now so will catch up with you all later

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

thinking of you @outlander xxxx

hello @Mazarita, @eth, hugs for you and you daughter @eth

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

Afternoon @Shaz51 @Mazarita @outlander @eth @Exoplanet @CheerBear @Appleblossom @Faith-and-Hope @Bunniekins @Sophia1 and all

Wasn't a good start today with Dentist this morning had to have a couple of more fillings on the bottom this time, but my guns were also inflamed, she's not sure why but my next appointment on Wednesday they may have to take out my other tooth next to it incase its from the tooth which would mean i would have none of my bottom front teeth and don't know if then i would have to have dentures, so not looking forward to Wednesday and I'm to scared to eat anything anesthetic is starting to wear out.

@outlander hope your dentist appointment goes well for you.

@eth Im so glad you had a conversation with your granddaughter and heard the baby, it makes a big difference and can relax knowing there all okay.

@Exoplanet Hope your day goes well with your patient lady today

@Mazarita good to hear you received the music, to help with video.

@CheerBear hope your cold gets better, good to hear your kids are back at school, we still have another week of school holidays here

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

Sorry to hear about the dentist's prognosis @saturnzoon I've been where you are with that. Soups and smoothies for you for a couple of days. I had partial dentures for a few years as I gradually lost my remaining teeth and they're not bad. Hoping you are with public dental in terms of getting it done with little or no cost, but at the same time hoping you can afford private dental as they're more likely to try to save your teeth. PS I have full dentures now and I'll never forget the feeling of profound relief after my last extractions, knowing I would never have to go through that again. I feel for you.

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

Thanks for the hugs @Shaz51. It's such a relief having heard from them and knowing that they haven't had to go to hospital and still have a midwife and a doola supporting them. Really looking forward to seeing them next week.

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