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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A Long Rave

@eth
Thank you for 'getting' what I said to Mazy
I feel for you breaking down at the dentist. I have done the same thing & there was no
memory of DV for me, I have no memory of what happened to me. I think I just got over-
whelmed with facing it alone & worrying about getting back home afterwards & not knowing what discomfort would be involved. I really don't know, but I know how embarrassed I felt & how I could do nothing to stop it. Of the thoughts that raced through my head, I remember 'this is not normal behaviour for an adult at the dentist & it's so obvious!'. I hope the hangover has cleared now, I hope there's enough good going on around you to stop it lingering as from personal experience I know it can do. I think raking a carpet of blossoms might be a perfect hangover cure 🙂 . . . but go easy on the back of yours


Mazy @Mazarita
Dawn is not a clear minded hour for me, I've done many forced dawns due to work. Once I retired I made a concious decision I would not do them anymore - & haven't done many since {apart from camping :)} But there is a tiny slither of me that misses that magical hue of light, that only happens then I enjoyed my 'day-off', I don't want my walks to become a 'have to' thing {although they are really, I chose a particularly energentic companion}. I can't tell you how wonderful it is to hear my words soothed you as opposed to, what has been in many cases, confused you. Your words 'click' in my brain, it's more than just 'fitting', it's like a clip-on hose fitting - your words can truley connect & flow with my thoughts sometimes I think feeling more confident & 'in gear' is a good sign that you've successfully re-set your brain 🙂 Don't knock yourself about too much for the smoking - I don't always make the hour & keep a packet of rollies for when I just don't want to wait 🙂 Glad to hear your phsychiatrist session helped relieve your suffering & that you have freedom of choice with medication changes. Well done getting to bed by 10.30pm 😄 Hoping the dawn 'feel good' lasts all day for you

@CheerBear
Thank you for your kind words Many people in my lifetime have not seen the way I think as pretty, they've seen weird, twisted & making no sense 😉 I am humbled when
somebody 'gets it' I guess I treat my dogs like my kids {that's something other people 'see' a lot! :)} & sometimes the harder way of learning is the best 😄
I'm glad you got your jumbled thoughts organized & think your not feeling the need to
post it is a good sign Thank you for sharing the peace that you feel from the
feathered conversations & the warmth of the sun, it sent a tingle of joy through my
chest

@Teej
The rain was wonderful, I don't know how much fell here, I haven't checked the gauge, I
often don't; I tend to go by the puddles, there isn't a big one in the driveway - that's what I call good rain; but there are a few littles one about, I noticed one in the forest yesterday - that's a good sign 🙂 A friend recently said to me, rain is like diamonds
falling from the sky, truth is I think it's far more precious 🙂
What an amazing dog you have! Teaching himself to heel! I did a little training with my
Staffy, tried my best to embed into his subconcious, that the left side is the right
side for walking - & I was pretty successful 🙂 I too feel he needs the freedom to run &
just to make free decisions as where he lays his feet. I know he risks his life every time we go into the forest, they're predicting a really bad snake season - together with fire & horrible heat (I'm super-dreading summer too!); but I just can't bring myself to have him face the risks of humans. I've already had dramas with one neighbour & a large part of the general population view his breed as dangerous, probably because there is an
undeniable potential for great harm in their high density of both bone & muscle, creating
some of the highest jaw pressure of all the domestic dog breeds - but there is no creature more dangerous or with a higher potential of harm, than the human being & as far as I know, we haven't declared any of our breeds dangerous!
I am so humbled by your gratitude for the words that I wrote to you & so glad that they
helped I'm sorry for what you went through, but proud of you for knowing that doing a task would help you overcome it You are a strong honourable person, to withstand the pain & manage all the tasks that you did, for the sake of friendship, at the party - you deserve feeling pleased about it! So glad you were able to recognize that the overwhelming feelings upon you return home were a natural reactions to having extended yourself to your very limits I know how difficult control can be, so today, know that your awesome!

@Appleblossom
Sorry to hear of the triggering you've had to go through, I hope there is light at the
end of that tunnel that makes it all worth it

Love to all that need or want it

@outlander @Sophia1 @Shaz51 @Faith-and-Hope @saturnzoon @Bunniekins @Everyone 🙂

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

hello @Exoplanet

good afternoon @Mazarita, @eth, @Teej, @CheerBear

In response to: A long rave

Re: A Long Rave

my aunt wasnt happy with it @Mazarita so lucky i double checked. i spoke to mum about it and she put it back onto me, i also told others offline i was studying and they were less than pleased so i wont be meantioning it anymore offline i dont think. the course is medical terminology, it runs for 6 months so hopefully ill have saved enough by then so i ca continue on with another course after that.

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

@Teej Just having a job to do is often the way I keep going. It is great you helped your friend and it had many spin offs. Go YOU. Lately I have been able to give myself good things and not just be useful.

@outlander NOt sure it is your aunt's business that you study. I say go for it.

Thanks @Mazarita @Exoplanet @eth re finding my doctor stamp page. I did. Will photocopy it and move on to next step. I could not do it while I was also on the phone or under any time constraint. My brain just spun at a million miles per hour. I hate being incompetent, it ramps up the anxiety big time.

Tody I went to visit an old friend from 70s and met another from 90s. I had introduced them way back and they did creative work for years, but I disappeared as overwhelmed with family and life.

It was a beautiful day and the garden is looking great.

Hope tomorrow has beautiful moments for you ALL.

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

Hi @Appleblossom
I was just coming over to say hi and you beat me to it.
Im studying anyway, its what i wanted to do and am already enjoying it 🙂


Sounds like you had a lovley day, youve bee having lots of adventures lately, its nice to hear what you share.

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

Hi @Appleblossom, looks like it's you, me and @outlander on the late night train again tonight. It's like old times.

So good to hear you found the page you needed. Lovely that you met up with your two friends. And that it was a beautiful day with garden delights.

@outlander, really sorry to hear you have so little real life support for your study aspirations. You are a champion for doing what you want to do anyway. I'm really happy for you and wish you the very best with it!

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

Glad you follow your heart @outlander

@Mazarita Yes fancy that its coming on to 2pm.

I must have too much fun but will eventually wind down.

Sounds like you had reasonable day.

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

Thanks @Mazarita
Im not quitting it, its keeping me occupied and bringing back those moments of joy i dont always have to share those moments with anyone 😉

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

Heading towards 1am where I am, @Appleblossom. I'm hoping we all relax and get sleepy together.

Today I slept a lot to keep my nerves down while waiting for the soundtrack to arrive for the video I'm making. Then it was all on with the editing for four hours. Because it's got a tight deadline, I seem to have this feeling I need to do it all in one night! But I'm being sensible and not going back to it tonight. I've got at least a couple of weeks to work on it.

@outlander, that's awesome and shows you have a sense of yourself that is not dependent on other people for approval. A great thing to have at a young age. I'm not sure I even have that at my age!

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

Oh yes the daylight savings in different states .. @Mazarita I am pretty oblivious to time mostly.

Self regulating on creative work is a real skill. Its good you can give yourself the time Maz to get the best out of yourself.

I want to reply to people and then I should try sleeping again.

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