FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

14,071 - 14,080 of 27,230

In response to: A long rave

Re: A Long Rave

@Bunniekins I'm like you, I have my shopping delivered every week to, I haven't been able to go to the shops or any where my self since my daughter left, the medication Im on for my social anxiety or panick attacks do nothing, I keep asking my psyc to try something different but he says, it won't matter what I take, the only thing that helps with anxiety is CBT and mindfulness which I have done so many times it doesn't help me.

greenpea are you able to get the DSP with mental health issues.

@Mazarita @Appleblossom @eth @Sophia1, I'm unable to do exercise or walk very far as I have osteoporosis in my knee an plays up a lot, but I have the power fit, which i can use every day that has been really good, it has 3 settings, so it's 15 minutes walking, or jogging and then running.

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

I have my shopping delivered every week to,, @saturnzoon, I am thinking of doing this as I can`t drive and mr shaz does not like doing food shopping which causeshim much anxiety

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

@Shaz51, I have a licence, but can only drive a automatic since my melanoma cancer in my left leg which has lef it numb and asking my older sons just causes arguments between them so i don't ask them to do anything any more.

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

Good morning, @saturnzoon, @Shaz51, @Bunniekins, @Appleblossom, @eth, @Sophia1, @Exoplanet, @CheerBear, @frog, @outlander, anyone passing through here today. Birdsong has just begun here, though still dark. May there be moments of peaceful wonderment in everyone's day...

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

@Shaz51 Hi Shaz51 and good morning hope every thing is okish with you today 🙂 xxxx

@saturnzoon Hi saturnzoon and good morning :). Yes thank god for home delivery it is a huge help for the anxiety levels. My psych is using ACT as a therapy for me and I must say the ideas she has come up with are brilliant, I just have to remember to implement them 😛

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

Good morning everyone 😊 Another lovely picture to start the day @Mazarita 💗

The birds have been up for a while here, this still and otherwise very quiet morning. It's so cold this morning and when I woke I went out to see whether there was frost as I was thinking of my seedlings in the vegetable garden! They should be OK 🤞

I had a very tricky day yesterday. I went and visited person in ICU and found that confronting. They're doing well enough but there is a lot of stress and worry for my people with the long term recovery from this and I found it hard not to absorb some of that myself yesterday. We were in the city which was way too busy for me. It was also full of triggers and reminders of when life went bang as it all unfolded around now when there is something big on that the world seems to stop and go bananas about. I used to really enjoy it but now my annoying head associates it with back then. I was very tired last night and will probably spend most of today in hiding from it all.

💛 to all for the day ahead. Hoping there's plenty of good in the day for everyone

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

@Mazarita Wow how stunning is that! makes one realise how small we actually are 🙂 have a great day Mazzy xxxxxx

Have a great day to @CheerBear@saturnzoon@Shaz51@Appleblossom@eth@outlander@TABa and @everyone thinking of you all and wishing everyone a fabulous long weekend ahead. xxx

In response to: A long rave

Re: A Long Rave

Good morning to all here this fine day.

@Mazarita I wanted to reply last night but my internet wasn't working. Couldn't do friday feast either, which I had been looking forward to. fell asleep almost as soon as I sat down after dinner so I've had 6 naps for a total of 10 hours sleep and still feel like I could go back for more.

Very nice to hear about you spending so much time in company at the centre and getting a stack of knitting done. Especially good to hear about the growth spurt in your recovery. I love the magnificent picture you shared earlier this morning.

I think I kind of collapsed yesterday after all the anxiety about the kids and anger at Mum on top of all those appointments.

Last night I cooked Lo Mein - basically a stir fry with marinated tofu and hokkien noodles. Plenty of 'tovers for today/night. Sil has gone to the farm for the weekend so it's just me and the dog here and the cat next door (her mum is also away for a few days).

At some stage I'll transplant a few things in the garden and tomorrow I have a support from 12.30-3 when I'll do a big grocery shop but other than that my weekend is looking like rest, rest, eat, rest!

Speaking of weight - in the last 2 weeks I've gone up a few kg again and am now at the top of the range I've been for the last few years. I seriously want to lose it. Even getting to 90kg would be an achievement for me. Most of my life I was 65-70kg and I struggle to come to terms with being so much heavier, especially when it comes to having photos taken. More exercise and less snacks is N.B. but since I hurt my back it's been the opposite.

Hi too to @Bunniekins @CheerBear @saturnzoon @Shaz51@Exoplanet@Sophia1 @Appleblossom @PeppiPatty and anyone else here today. Will go and catch up on posts now.

@CheerBear sending warm wishes for a quiet day of rest for you. I know how it feels to have the past getting in the way of the present and really feel for you the way you described your feelings yesterday. Take care friend.

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

@eth so you will be baby sitting fur babies this weekend 😄 and otherwise will be having a calm and 'pea'ceful weekend. Good on you eth. Isn't it funny how mental illness does that to you makes you want to/need to have that time to yourself to recoup. Beautiful sunny weather here so I have a load of washing on which I will hang out when it is finished and then will be doing my qi gong today and gradually doing my cleaning of the house for the house inspection this week.

Hope you have a good day. Love greenpea xxxx

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

Yes @Bunniekins recoup is the right word for it.

Good luck with getting ready for your house inspection. I used to hate them. Totally felt scrutinised and judged. Hoping you sail through it with no issues.

14,071 - 14,080 of 27,230