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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A Long Rave

Morning forum 🙂

@eth very exciting news!🌈 Looking forward to hearing what you can and do share.

Morning @Mazarita. How did you sleep last night?

Hi to all 😊

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

@CheerBear, I've only had a couple of sleeps overnight. One of them was for about four hours, a bigger chunk than I've been getting lately. That was even after sleeping all day yesterday with the migraine. Glad about it.

How was your night?

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

You must have needed it @Mazarita. How are you feeling this morning?

My night was good thanks. Had a few laughs and some serious conversation also (not much of that one thankfully). Slept normally but had a little longer than usual sleep in today which is nice 🙂

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

Good to hear you slept a bit longer too, @CheerBear.

Laughs are great things! Was it your special friend you were you sharing them with?

I think the extra sleep for me is related to recovering still from the migraine. Only a shadow of a headache this morning but I'm taking another easygoing, no-plans recovery day anyway. Aside from the pain in the head, migraines generally take it out of me.

What's happening with you today?

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

Internet is playing up badly this morning, mobile and wifi @Mazarita 😏 I wonder how I ever lived without it sometimes!

We've been with a few people around one who is having surgery soon, so laughs were with them. I have matching ink with one and whenever we catch up we laugh the kinds of laughs that hurt my belly. So good 🙂

Good to hear your headache has mostly passed. Definitely worth taking it easy again today so it doesn't come back.

I'm not sure what we're up to today. We may stay here a little longer or head home and do something from home. It's school holidays now so I'll have to find some things to keep the little crew happy.

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

I too wonder what we did without our 21st century communications technology, @CheerBear. And yet, as I like to remind myself (and everyone, lol), I remember a time when we didn't even have a landline in the places we were living, and had to use an (often broken) public phone box to try to reach people that way. No answering machines either, so we were lucky if people were home! It was a more peaceful existence in some ways.

Ah yes, I forgot you were going to visit your people last night. How wonderful that there was laughter there. Belly laughs are rare for me. Glad you got them with your ink twin. Hope sick one was able to have some laughs too.

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

I remember times like that also @Mazarita. We moved around quite a bit and I kept in contact with some friends through letter writing which is not something I imagine my kids doing. I was at an interesting time growing up when I can still remember a pretty tech limited time but was still able to grow up with it in ways too. My kids lives are very different to mine in that way. I'm not sure if it is better or worse, but definitely different.

Ink twin - I like that 😊 Do you have any tattoos?

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

One of the things I treasure about my memories of my father is our letter writing relationship, @CheerBear. From childhood onwards, we spent long periods of time in distant places to each other. His letters were often very funny. I haven't written an actual letter for a long time now. The rise of computers and communications technology is the biggest change to our society that I have witnessed in my lifetime. I was a TV baby, born less than ten years after it was introduced to Australia. Some of the black and white TVs I watched, even in adulthood, were tiny! I still managed to get into the shows though, often more than I get into TV now. I like your perspective about not knowing if it was better or worse back then, but different.

The only tattoos I have on my body are scars from surgery. I almost got one in the '90s, but my friend and I who were going to do it together as a bonding thing both chickened out when we walked into a Kings Cross tattoo parlour!

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

That is a lovely memory with your father @Mazarita 😊 The other day I was looking in a stationery store that many kids go bananas for (and I despise in so many ways but I took one in to show them). I was remembering how nice it was to have nice stationery and used to ask for pretty letter writing paper for my birthday. I'm thankful I grew up in a time where that was what we did.

That's pretty funny with the tattoo 😆

In response to: Re: A Long Rave

Re: A Long Rave

You just reminded me of stationery sets I received as gifts when I was young, @CheerBear. The colours of the paper, the little decorations at the top and bottom of pages. Good memories.

My friend and I who were contemplating tattoos were both sensitive, gentle types. I think we were expecting to find some arty, new agey kind of thing in Kings Cross, lol.

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