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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks for getting it @Mazarita I react a lot more strongly to males with unexpected behaviour too. Sorry, no offence @TAB, it's because of so many traumas involving men in my past. I know there are still good men out there.

I won't know how the craft group is if I don't give it a try. I rang the centre and they said someone will meet us and show us around and then they're giving me 2 weeks free of cost to try out the groups I'm interested in. I really want to find out more about the hospitality skills group they have too. So far I just know it's an 8 week course and will start again in 2-3 weeks.

Hoping you are both having good days so far. @Mazarita doing something before coming on line is working well for me. Even something small. Today I made the bed, put the dishes away and had a wash and changed my clothes. Gives me some time to check where my head's at irl before engaging on-line.

I think I'm more likely to pay attention to washing and dressing in fresh clothes now that I will be going out more. More accountable. Hair is long overdue for a wash tho'.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, I think it's great that you are willing to give craft group a try. Hope the 8 week hospitality course is something possible for you too. I hope the groups aren't expensive after the initial free sessions. The centre I go to, everything is free. Very lucky that it's only a short bus ride or a 2km walk to get there too. I've been going there on and off since it opened a few years ago and feel relaxed and comfortable there now, though I was very nervous at the beginning. I am well known there now. Funny that the staff turn over faster than the regulars. We are the ones that carry the living history of that place. I think the idea of doing something before coming on the forum in the morning is a great idea. Today was the first time of trying it, and I'd like to continue it. I'm talking about my 'final' wake up of the morning. If I'm up around dawn, I just jump straight on as I know I'm going to get one more sleep before getting up properly. Also, in the early morning, C is still asleep, so I don't want to wake him with doing stuff at that time. I have found it really helpful to my washing and dressing to have things to do outside of the flat. I'm (over)due for a shower today. I always wash my hair when I do that.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @outlander, just noticed you under the 'support' button. Feel like a real time chat with us?

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

morning @Faith-and-Hope
how are you going this morning?


Morning @eth @Mazarita
i havent heard anything about the results as yet. ive sent an email to my gp practice to check in with me in regards to the results. they said that if it is super super urgent then ill know within 2 days, if something is showing but not extremly urgent then ill get the results in 2/3 days unless my gp rings up and asks the radiologist himself.
the waiting is definently the hard part.
no real plans here, mostly just stuff at home. horses later on this afternoon. i might try for some exercise on the bike, im feeling super lazy and abit bleh from not exercising like i usually do but will just have to be in shorter incriments so i dont flare pain up to much.

@eth im really glad you new support worker suits you better. i hope today goes ok too


@Mazarita well done for getting some things done already this morning. what are your plans for today?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

hello also @TAB cat

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Signing out now @Mazarita. Hope you and all here have a good day today. I'll be back at the end of the day with a progress report.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Morning everybody .... 👋☕️💕

I am doing okay @eth ...... thanks for asking ......

We have made the decision to work towards selling our home, which is more than a bit heart-hurty, but the writing was on the wall with that since the end of last year when the decision was made to move east for the rest of the kids schooling, so it’s just a formalisation if the heart-hurty that was already there I guess ..... but along with that decision has come another one, to keep a living space in the west, as my mr. will be FIFO-ing with both work commitments, and a need to spend time with his elderly mother, on a weekly basis for the foreseeable future anyway ..... so with a home base and lots of fly-by points making many of our flights “free”, it’s a way to keep us connected with our married kids as well I guess. The unit itself doesn’t enthuse me greatly as it can’t replace the memories of the home that we will be closing the door on, but will will include an art space, and that is a salve that is keeping me from dwelling too much on it all. Will have to throw myself headlong into self-care as it all happens, but it is what it is ..... and there is to be a new art space in the east as well, so how lucky am I ?!

I have had to come to terms with the fact that my mr will not be able to manage the maintenance required for living in a house, so the unit living is a form of supported living, as a body corporate will take care of what he neglects..... and our to-be-sold home is a wreck, as a prime example. It will need serious work done on it pre-sale to bring it back to anywhere near what it’s value should be. Having lived inside being-renovated-and-extended homes with multiple schools and roof leaks for many years, I am more than happy to know that that work will be done this time after we have vacated.

Silver linings .....

So glad to hear you are venturing to art group 💜

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@outlander .... ^^^

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@outlander, at least after two days you will know that it's nothing extremely serious. Is there any way you can take your mind off it while those days are passing? Maybe crochet would help. Any daytime TV shows you like? Other coping strategies you've used in the past? Having a go on the exercise bike sounds really good. My physiotherapist encourages me to do as much walking as possible, but to pull back if there's significant pain. Seems to be working well for me at the moment. Like you, I feel much better if I get some exercise. It's another thing that can take mind off worries, or at least help the body absorb some of the excess nerves.

I have plans in mind for today. But it's proving more helpful to me at the moment if I don't talk about them in advance. I seem to be getting more done that way, and not sabotaging myself so much.

@eth, great to meet up with you in real time again today. Look forward to hearing how things go. Gentle, kind wishes to you for your activities today.

@Faith-and-Hope, I'm about to sign out too now, to get myself in the shower. Look forward to reading your post later.

Catch you later, everyone.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

❤️ @Mazarita ....

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