FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

13,561 - 13,570 of 27,230

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Dear Mazzy I love your polar bear group meeting I am imagining 5 polar bears all sitting round a table all showing different sides of the illness having a cup of tea or coffee. Really, really happy it went so well for you :). As you can gather I get angry, manic side when I am sick with my bipolar/schizo. Although with the medication I am on I get so sleepy instead of angry manic .... I prefer sleepy.... I think everyone prefers sleepy.

I got my leggings from Best and Less for $6.00 if they last a season I will be happy 😄

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@outlander stay strong outlander and be kind to yourself hun. xxxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello @Bunniekins @Mazarita @outlander @eth @Exoplanet @Former-Member @BlueBay @Shaz51

@Appleblossom @Former-Member @eudemonism @Faith-and-Hope @CheerBear @Jupiter all

I had Dentist on wednesday and had 3 teeth out and have not been ok since, one of the bottoms ones they took out, i had a tooth already taken out there a couple of years ago but have had trouble with the gum area and the tooth next to it, and now they took that tooth out, the gum is so sore ive been using salt water during the day to help it but it hasn't helped, been taking panadeine forte for pain, can't eat anything except soft food. I'm feeling pretty week from not eating properly and all my kids 2 in there 20's and 11yr old keep fighting and argueing most of the time and I'm reaally p××××× off with them all and had enough. this is where I miss my daughter so much s she was the only one that ever helped when I'm feeling like this and it mkes it so hard to carry on, i keep crying in my bedroom, i try not to do it in front of the boys cause they just don't get it or don't want to know and this is where my loneliness creeps in and not wanting to be around anymore, I haven't been taking my meds cause when I get sick it's the last thing i think of so I know that's my fault, but when it hurts to eat and I'm hardly having anything, I'll only get sick like i did friday taking meds without eating just not worth it, ive been using bonjella to numb the gum area to try and help.

I have appointment withh Dentist again tomorrow for restoration don't know what that entails but I hope it doesn't involve needles but first I'll let them know about the gum and see what they say. A couple of years ago when i last went to Dentist i was told that i might have gingivitis the gum deases, so not sure if maybe that's why I'm having a lot of trouble in the bottom area.I did go to Doctors on Friday it was a new lady doctor and told her how i was feeling but all she could say was, i should have seen my normal Doctor there, never mind that he was booked out, so she didnt help, i was so angry with her, i felt so angry with her, i had to get out before i did something I would regret.

That's why I haven't posted since last week guys and haven't been on here as just trying to sleep in between pain killers. I know some of you are having a ruff time as well tried to look just before, only got slight glimpse as pain is back. Life throws lots of curve balls in our lives and can sometimes bring us to a boiling piont, I needed to get all this out before it pushed me over, cause I haven't gone to any of my groups since dentist either which is crucial for me to not get like this.

My saving grace is here with all my friends where we all support one another and care about each other, so I hope if your having a really hard time to at the moment remember we all have each other to lean on. at least have stopped crying now, thank you forum friends hopefully will feel better after Dentist tomorrow morning and can let you know. Going to try and sllep now. Take care

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Oh no @saturnzoon

That is a pretty serious dental situation and definitely would be painful. I hope the restoration side of it sees you feeling better eventually.

I relate to the problem of being unwell, not getting support in the home, and hiding out with it. That is the great thing about the internet, is that at least we can find connection somewhere. If the boys cant give it to you Nurse yourself. You really do need rest and care to get well. When you are well enough and have some MH support, start putting it out, that they need to take responsibility for themselves more so you can look after yourself. That you have the right to some peace and a decent quiet life ... after raising them ...

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Mazarita @outlander @Appleblossom @saturnzoon and anyone else here this afternoon.

@Mazarita thanks for sharing about your polar bear gathering and where you're at in your relationships with them and the other one you are cautious about. I think 'clearing the karma' is a really healthy approach to take. Hoping to catch up with you sooner or later.

@saturnzoon I'm sorry to hear all you are going through with the dental situation and the lack of support at home. Sending you warm wishes and hope that you get through the dental work without too much more pain. Soups and juices and maybe soft bread and bananas or avocados will keep you nourished and hopefully make it possible for you to get back on your meds. I've been through years of terrible dental dramas and loss of teeth to the point where I now have full dentures. So I feel your pain. Sometimes extractions bring up all sorts of stuff and can be quite traumatic. Here to support you as much as I can. Go gently. I agree with @Appleblossom about telling your kids you have needs too. They are old enough to understand. Sometimes we have to put our self-care first so that we will then be more able to care for them. Time out whenever you need to, it's ok.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth, looks like we have landed online at the same time. I'll just leave this here and see if you feel like a bit of chat.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Mazarita looks like I might have just missed you again. I had 2 lovely phone calls from my best friend and my sister and am just off the phone now. Will stick around for a little while in case you're still there.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @Mazarita @CheerBear wondering if you're around yet today?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Morning @eth (and @Mazarita and anyone who may be up). I'm having a cuppa at the moment enjoying the quiet before the morning rush starts.

You're here early-ish this morning eth. How are you?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning, everyone.

@outlander, hope you are feeling at least a little better with your physical ill health this morning, preferably a lot better. Kind wishes for your day.

@Bunniekins, I prefer sleepy to angry too, also much better for the people I love. I lost my marriage due to my MI and anger issues back then, though it's probably for the best that it ended too as it has turned out. It was a long time ago now, but I had a kind and loving husband. We are still friends on Facebook but rarely do private messaging. But yesterday, his birthday, I sent him a little note and got a lovely reply. That was wonderful, as I still feel guilt about how I treated him. On a lighter note, six dollars is cheap for leggings. I usually get them from ebay, but they cost much more than that there. I might take a trip to the local shopping centre and check out Best and Less!

@saturnzoon, three teeth out is a lot in one sitting. I think there's a bit of mourning that happens when we have teeth removed. Add to that a lot of gum pain and it's no wonder you have been feeling awful. I think @eth's idea is great, about eating soft food for now so that you can take your meds again. Being without your meds is likely to make things a fair bit worse. Really feeling for you with your kids fighting, arguing and being so unhelpful, especially when you have been feeling this way. I hope you have been able to get some sleep, or at least rest while feeling unwell. So glad you are finding the forum a saving grace at hard times. Look forward to hearing how your next appointment with the dentist has gone.

@eth, we are ships passing in the day and night at the moment. I feel like we are writing little letters to each other at the moment. Very nice to read you in displaced time anyway. Wonderful to hear you had those two phone calls. I think your best friend is the inspiring one you have written about a lot over time. That would be great to hear from her. Good to think of you speaking to your sister too. I found myself yesterday wishing I had a sister! It reminded me that I've been thinking about one of my cousins and meaning to ring her. Hope I do that soon.

@CheerBear, wonder how your Sunday was. As if to prove how I seem to sabotage things when I state advance plans here, I did neither of the things I was planning to do yesterday. That's okay though. I needed rest after a big week by my standards.

@eth, snap! Just saw your message come through. How are you this morning?

13,561 - 13,570 of 27,230