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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth@Mazarita@Exoplanet@outlander@Shaz51 and all those who pass wishing everyone a relaxing and calm Sunday and a wonderful week ahead. Lots of love the pea xxx

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello @eth 🙂

The place I have in mind is a Caravan park, I don't think it's a particular busy one, it's a little bit out-of-the-way, but it's at a dam {don't know if the dams got water at the moment, that would be disapointing!}; & I don't intend to camp in the park bit, you can go camp by the dam - that's where I'm thinking; but at the very least the park owners will be there. A large part of my fear is people, or more what people are capable of doing. I am in 2 minds, I don't want to go to public areas because there's people, but I don't want to go to isolated areas because you've gotta get extremely isolated before there's no people & if someone were to 'come across' me in an isolated area . . . there's nothing stopping them doing what people are capable of.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @Exoplanet @eth @Mazarita @outlander @Shaz51

Pleased to hear that you are starting to feel better in yourself @Mazarita...hopefully a sign that your body is settling down with all of the medication changes...You should continue to feel better now...enjoy your day...

@Exoplanet Well done on finishing the netting fence to keep your puppy safe....

That is some achievement....You can walk around ...look at it and say to yourself "I did that"....I used to love making changes in the garden or outside area then continually going to have a look...

Your camping trip is still important in your thoughts....If you are still feeling anxious and have concerns despite the fact that you have been many times before....if you are a list maker like I am...you could make columns.....

Column 1....why do I love camping?

Column 2....what are my fears that are preventing me from going camping.?.

Then make 2 more columns.....oh groan I can hear you saying....

column 3......how will I feel once I am there?

column 4.......what can I put in place to keep me safe from my fears?

obviously write down whatever comes to mind under each heading....or whatever heading you think of..

Take the list with you....if you decide to go....which I am more than certain you will....if anxiety starts....read your words that allowed you to make the choice to go and feel safe...

@eth has a good suggestion....if you don't camp near people...let someone know where you are going ...approximate length of time..check in with them when you return to let them know that you are safe..

@eth you mentioned about learning to pay bridge....I have not tried that..used to be on my list....at present period of time mind too fragmented....We used to play canasta many times....then another game called 500...another one called Samba...along with many other short card games....I too loved scrabble...played with mum and sister...younger son enjoyed playing games....he loved monopoly..

@outlander I read somewhere that someone was comforting you re hurting your foot.....oh goodness....bubble wrap to keep safe? I love boots...I wear them often...Am hoping that other physical health issues are settling for you...that you are managing some free time to do what you can...

@Shaz51 I read that you are having more medical appointments and meeting doctors with lack of compassion...sadly there are many around....there are some very good ones who make up for the others and are worth persevering in finding...I hope that you get the medical help that you need and deserve...helping you with some relief in your overstretched caring role...I know that Mr Shaz will be worrying about you too....

Take care all

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sending love to you too @Bunniekins hoping today's going well for you so far.

@Exoplanet it's precisely because of incidents that have happened in my life when camped at remote places that I suggested going somewhere with people, didn't want to say that much but you nailed it in your post. I think your idea about going to the dam is a good one. As you say, the park owners will be there. You might find also that going to such places mid-week there will be a lot less people, with the added bonus of your choice of camping site.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Love to you too @Sophia1. I played 500 a lot when I was younger too. And still play scrabble sometimes. But I usually lose by lots of points. Bridge seems very complicated by comparison but for now I'll persevere. If I can get it together it would be good for my brain, especially rediscovering my memory. Had a 2nd lesson on Friday. Plus sil's mum (who is teaching me) said she'd come to beginner's classes with me a few times if I want to do it.

Hope today's ok for you so far xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

that is the best way to learn and to have her support sounds like a brilliant plan..

you have nothing to lose....let your humour be your saving grace if need be..

I am in the midst of revolting preparation for colonoscopy...so no more need to be said..

need to go and drink more water...

lovely to chat to you live...

love Sophia xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Helloo @Sophia1, @Mazarita, @eth, @Exoplanet, @Exoplanet

thank you for your message @Sophia1 and I will be thinking of you

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Been out since 8am this morning helping with a father days breakfast, cooking, setting up, cleaning at the church and then some activities got home about 2ish, within half an hour my 24yr son starts on my 12yr old, rough play annoying him, my youngest has Autism and hates being disturbed when playing his games, so the yelling starts with 12yr old, I'm trying to get 24yr to stop but he just thinks it's funny and i can't handle it, went on for 45minute and all i want to do is get out and never come back, let them go live with there father instead. what started out as a good day ends up as another wishing i never got up day

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@saturnzoon Hi saturnzoon having two boys and a girl (transgender) I know how annoying it is when one (being the eldest) thinks it is hilarious to annoy the younger one .... used to drive me crazy and then they grew up (eldest moved out) and thankfully it all stopped. My Middle son and daughter both have autism believe me I know ... my eldest loved to tease but on his last visit home everything went really well.

Hang in there there is light at the end of the tunnel.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thank you @Bunniekins I just cannot see an end to it ever.

My oldest who is 25yr with high functioning Autism has been hell to live with and always picked on my 24yr son and 23yr daughter when they were all younger and hated it and, my mental health just keept getting worse, then when i had my 12yr old son it turned out he has Autism as well scince then it never stops.

They have been fighting on and off al night and all i want to do is smack there heads together, i am so angry and don't know how to get rid of it except to take tablets to calm down, writing this right now trying to calm down but not working

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