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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @outlander. Have been wondering how you're doing today.

Hugs for the anxiety and the tears @eth. Understanding how change, even good change, can be unsettling and how we can be consumed with trying to be proactive to the point that it becomes difficult to switch off from it all. Believing you've got this even when it doesn't feel like that for you ❤

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Mazarita

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @outlander, @eth and anyone else around, how are you both going at this end to the daylight hours? I've just woken up again recently. No walk on the beach today. That's okay. I'll do it when I can, maybe sometime during the week.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@CheerBear, @eth, triple snap! All three of us posting in the same minute.

Hi @Former-Member, @PeppiPatty

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @CheerBear

Hey @Mazarita I've been having a moan about all the feels I've felt today. Not a good one.

How has the day been for you both?

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @outlander sitting by the heater here with my fourth home made coffee for the day because I am driving myself insane being bored....and head is going around in circles with working out the multiple after pay payments I have going 😔 whilst cartoons are on lol stressed myself today

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hugs, @eth. With all the prep work you do, I know you've got this, even though it has felt so anxious today.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Former-Member 💕 hugs for thr hard stuff

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I think that the lyrics at that moment didn't have a meaningful effect on me.

everything that Bob Dylan does is amazing to me but it's just different the older I get.

When I was 17 years old, my two best friends and I lined up for Bob Dylan tickets and hung out backstage door wanting to meet him but met Tom Petty for 30 seconds.........I threw away his autograph because I was young..........

We went home and flogged Bob Dylan records for a year after. I went to see David Bowie in concert. Right up at the front and he looked right at me and gave me a little wave. I was positive he wanted to marry me.......

Those days are over.

What music do you listen to @Former-Member ? my youngest son went and met Chrissie Hynde from THe Pretenders for me to get her autograph but it was stolen.......

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Mazarita. It doesn't feel like it yet. Have to do some serious leg-work this week. I've had my plan for a month, had PHaMs cancelled, and have no new support workers yet. And a bunch of appointments coming up that I'll need help with. Went to the dental clinic yesterday and they are going to give me new dentures (the good news) but it will take 6 appointments over 2 months to do it. Crazy!

So yesterday I had some ptsd stuff come up because of the dental ap't (bit of a story there but I'm not up for telling it atm) and today I had huge anxiety and a big cry, mostly about the immediate future.

Seeing both psychologist and psychiatrist on Wednesday - just as well, I think I need it.

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