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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I bought some thin-tipped textas from the op shop a while back but haven't used them yet, @CheerBear. No flat spaces clear for art work in this flat really.

I think I may take off again. Might end up back in bed, not sure yet. But C is rousing so I'll have a chat with him first at least.

Hope the birthday party is more fun for you than anticipated and that middle's arm is okay with the hijinx.

Great to catch you first up in the morning again.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Haha autocorrect changed 'markets' to 'markers' in my previous post @Mazarita. I meant markets as C does market shopping ☺

Good to catch you also. I better think about getting us all moving too. Hope you have some good feels in your day today @Mazarita ❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Mazarita and @CheerBear looks like I'm late for the morning chat again!

Maz hoping your sleep leaves you more refreshed this morning and C's company today lifts your mood of late. It must be getting so frustrating waiting for the meds to achieve more of a balance for you.

CB I really hope your middle's arm isn't fractured. And that the birthday party turns out to be fun for you too.

The 'run and jump' description reminded me of a time when my child was about 11 - we were babysitting at someone's house (3 other kids and a newborn who was difficult to settle) and they had chimes hanging over their table which was surrounded by chairs. Child jumped to try to make the chimes ring with their head, missed the chimes and came down with their nose on the back of one of the chairs. We didn't know their nose was broken at the time and I still hear about it or see them and cringe - I can't believe I didn't get it diagnosed and treated at the time. I feel guilty to this day. There were lots of periods in their childhood when I was majorly depressed or completely manic, surrounded by chaos and retrospectively I can see I was negligent at times. Part of the consequences of not having been diagnosed accurately and managed accordingly until they were 21 years old. Shoulda woulda coulda .....

Good morning to anyone else around today.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hugs for the shoulda woulda coulda @eth. There's potentially so much of that for all of us I am guessing and, as much as it's totally natural to think, it can feel yuck to go there.

I have a similar story but in reverse where I was hurt as a younger person. As an angry teenager I made sure my person remembered it and similar times, but now as a parent myself I can feel bad for doing that. I know my person did the best they could with what they had and I can see and understand all the things that stood in the way of them being able to do better. I feel sad for the missed chances and the challenges they faced more than I feel hurt and angry about things now. There are also so many times when kids behave in a way that isn't so clear cut and there's no way as a parent we can deal with every situation and every happening well all of the time. It's all so much harder when managing our own big challenges, like an undiagnosed mental illness would be.

Hugs again ❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning, @eth. Sending love and warm wishes. I'm only managing the forum on wake breaks at the moment, so missing you a lot it seems. Just wanted to send a message to say I'm at least reading and thinking of you.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks for the hugs @CheerBear

Thinking of you too @Mazarita

Here now if you want to chat.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Afternoon everyone @eth @Mazarita and everybody

@CheerBear hoping middles arm is ok and the party goes well. Take some breatherd if you need.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @outlander, @eth, @CheerBear, @The-red-centaur, @Exoplanet, everyone

Feeling a lot more human after a shower and a visit to our friend's place. Now sitting here at the desktop, clean, hair silky, clean clothes, some fresh air in me. Still feeling generally unwell and weak but better than I have been, at least for now.

@outlander, it seems you are being patient through the physical and mental challenges at the moment. How are you this evening? Anything planned this Saturday night?

@eth, sorry I wasn't up to chatting earlier. Had to just flop in the armchair for a while, eventually fell asleep there for about an hour. That's when I roused myself to have a shower, thank goodness. It's been (shock horror) 10 days. I think that's a record in recent years. Hope your day has been good. Wondering what you have been up to.

@Exoplanet, I wonder if you have been doing any more fencing. Maybe some walks with the dogs. What DVDs are you watching at the moment? Sending love and thinking about you.

@The-red-centaur, how's the sleeping going? Hope you feel as okay as possible in your waking times. I find that if I panic about how much I'm sleeping when I wake up, it makes it all worse. Sometimes I think we just have to go with it all for a time to give our minds, hearts and bodies a chance to rest and heal. In any case, wishing you well.

@CheerBear, that's funny with the markers/markets exchange we had, lol. Hope the news on middle's arm is good, and that the birthday party went okay.

It's a home night tonight, maybe some TV and foruming if anyone is around. Some chat with C hopefully. May the evening unfold well for all.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Afternoon all @outlander @Mazarita @eth @CheerBear

I live with my 3 sons ages 25, 24 and 11. My eldest son 25 has High functioning Autism, my youngest 11yr old also has Autism and ADHD, my 24yr old is my career.. We are renting a small 3 bedroom house where my kids all have seperate rooms. I have no room of my own and either sleep on the lounge or with my younger son as he still won't sleep on his own. I have been trying to find a 4 bedroom to rent where we are living for the past 3 months with no success. All they say is there is a house shortagge and they are getting about 40 applications per house. So my mental health keeps getting worse from having no place of my own, even the bath is to small, I think unless you work and have no animals, im not going to get anywhere. My lease ran out here in June and where on a week by week basis now, I have 2 dogs that help with the kids with Autism and my anxiety.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Glad you are a tad better. Think of all the water you are saving. There is a drought on.

@eth

@CheerBear

@The-red-centaur

@Exoplanet

@Teej

@PeppiPatty

and anyone who reads or passes by.

Ohh the darn autocorrect can be funny at times.

Had small driving lesson with son, but mostly inside today, which is what the weather ordered.

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