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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Big bear hugs, @CheerBear. I'm a bear too in my fluffy dressing gown.

I was at my friends place from early afternoon until about 8pm yesterday. C joined us after work for take away chinese dinner with my friend's brother too.

The sky out at their place is fantastic. So many beautiful moments I've had with it in the past few months since they've been living there. Watched the sunset out there yesterday. The sky was such a vivid orangey pink for a while. Birds flying on different trajectories overhead to night time nesting spots: super fast tiny swallows, noisy and fast rainbow lorikeets, a small bird that slowly meandered across the expanse, flapping away towards one of the tall trees across the road.

As we left, the night sky swept overhead. It's darker out there too and I could see the Milky Way in parts. The Southern Cross. Mars looking red and bright. Venus of course.

Your morning outside prompted that rave.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That sounds really special @Mazarita ❤ Is this friend who struggled with housing for a while? If so, how fabulous to be somewhere that sounds like it feels so good.

I wish I could share more of here and where I go when I'm not here, here. The front can sound like a highway but it has my favourite tree and my little coffee spot in it. If I'm on the phone in the front yard people often can't hear me with the background traffic. If I step out the back it instantly changes though. It sounds magic with all of the birds, and the trees changing throughout the year look beautiful.

Here's a little piece of it from a moment ago.

The moon behind the pancake topping tree and some leaf-less fruit trees which will be covered in pink and white flowers soon 🌸🌼

Better head out and get the crew moving. Catch you later 😊

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Have a good one, @CheerBear!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning, @Exoplanet.

Feeling you under the like button. How are you this morning?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello Everyone 🙂

Something wonderful happened last night, my daughter rang We exchanged messages on FB a few times before, she's having problems with her eldest who has left home, & as is often the case with teenagers, they did it in a dramatic way. She was finding it hard to go through it without her Mum. I don't know if she realized it, but much of the advice I was giving was what I'd learnt from our own 'falling out', sometimes you just have to let go & trust in the bond you have with your child, giving them time to remember they trust you too

On the fence saga front, I've contacted another fencing business from a couple of hours away, that services many areas including my own. I'm expecting it may be expensive as they have a pretty good set up, with a post rammer & a wire roller - but that should make the build much quicker. I have to draw a picture of what I'm wanting done & email it to them today. I'm thinking of going with the tubular metal end assemblies, as I'm wary the hardwood posts may not sit well in my soil, they are also more expensive, but when I think of the expense I have already undertaken, it makes sense, like I'm protecting my investment.

The netting that I'm putting up around my existing houseyard fence is going a lot slower than I'd expected . . . but it's going 🙂 My body isn't enjoying it at all, I think just the getting down & up is affecting my back in a way that it's giving me a constant slight headache - but . . . you get that, I'll survive 😉

The local young lad has removed the posts he had tried to set in & reimbused me a good deal of the cost. He was extremely good about it & offered to cut them up as firewood for me {he would have reimbused me the full price, but I wanted the firewood}.

So although things aren't going as smoothly as I'd like, they are still going 🙂Happy Hugs to all that need them ❤️

@Mazarita @CheerBear @Appleblossom @Faith-and-Hope @Sophia1 @outlander @Shaz51 @Teej @Bunniekins

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good Morning my magical Mazy @Mazarita

I'm good Thanks, hoping you morning is getting good too

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Exoplanet, amazing news, mainly in relation to your daughter.

The fences roll on forward, great to hear, and the young lad sounds like a good young man.

Looking forward to the image!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I have cold feet at the moment, @Exoplanet, as I've been sitting here in my fluffy dressing gown but nothing on my legs. Other than that I feel okay this morning, though tired from not much sleep yet. Will be going back for more at some point.

Slept in the armchair for almost three hours from about midnight last night. It was a really peaceful sleep there. Then was up for a little, not long, and then got into bed. Met up with @CheerBear, just after I awoke.

Nothing pressing today though, until late afternoon. Can't do the washing because the line hangs over the aircon unit, and the repairman will need to be able to get in there without finding my undies on his head.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

😄 😄 😄 What an image Maz! 😄 The repairman with your undies on their head!!! 😄 😄 😄 That gave me a for real laugh-out-loud!!! 😄 😄 😄

Is there any spot you can sit in the sun to warm your legs? . . . or I suppose you could put some long trousers on? 😉 ? . . . . or maybe a hot shower? 😉 ? But then I'm guessing bed will warm them up nicely 😉 🙂

I'd better get going & start drawing fence things 🙂

Lots of love to you Mazy @Mazarita

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Morning @Exoplanet @Mazarita @CheerBear @eth @Sophia1 @Appleblossom @PeppiPatty @Teej and all here too
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