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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth and our engagement with the forum can change over time too, it certainly has for me. It's a very dynamic community in the sense that there are always new people arriving, others disengaging, people coming in at all different times. I think the best way to be here at the moment is just to find my own personal path through the threads, with a little guidance from synchronicity too. I like the 'spoons' metaphor and relate to it.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Another analogy working for me atm @Mazarita is that of our 'cup' - we give and receive from and to it. If we are always putting out our energy our cup gets depleted. There are things we can do to replenish it, different for every person. If we do enough of the latter our cup will remain full and we can give to others from the overflow. This is ideal. I love this one.

So I'm spending most of my time on the replenishing activities as the doing for or giving to others takes more out of me currently than is often the case.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, good that you are taking care of yourself online here too.

I'm going to head towards bed again now. Enjoy your creative hours. Hugs! ox

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sleep well @Mazarita x

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

hello @Mazarita

sorry that I haven't responded to you for such a long time

I have been trying very hard to concentrate on just a few threads whilst trying to hold my head up out of the water

I think that even now I am overstretching myself

I keep so much to myself because I dont want to further upset anyone...so many people on here have so much to deal with far more than they should

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Former-Member, good to see you, thanks for the friendly greeting! Please never be concerned about how much we engage or not. I share your feeling about needing to care for ourselves in how we approach the increasingly busy forum. I totally understand. I don't see you upsetting people, quite the contrary, but I know on the forum this happens at times for the reason that we are all struggling in various ways with mental health. Wishing you the best, always. Maz

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

thank you so much for being you @Mazarita

I always say this to my two closest friends....it doesn't matter how much time goes by....when you have contact you know that you are valued for who you are just the same as if you had only spoken yesterdayxxx

I feel safe with you...how extraordinary.. we have never met xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Former-Member, you have me teary! Thank you for such lovely words and feelings. Thank you for being you too. I know what you mean with special friends, how you can be out of contact for some time and it's like you just pick up again where you left off. Hope the rest of your evening is kind to you, you've given me a really nice feeling in mine.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @Mazarita Knowing your routine lately you're probably asleep. May you awaken feeling refreshed and at peace.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth

You were right about the timing of my sleep. Went to bed at 8.30pm last night and woke a number of times but only for very short awakenings. Good to get more sleep overnight for a change. Hope you managed to clock up some good sleep hours too. x

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