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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thank you for your lovely message earlier @eth. Much appreciated. Edit as I just caught your other post - go you this morning! Sounds like a big and productive one. Hope you enjoy toes up ☺

Great to hear that you had some more sleep and are feeling OK about the dentist @Mazarita. My bed morning meant not getting out of bed until first feet were up at about 6. It was nice to stay there this morning with the furballs ☺

Great to see you @Teej. Everything crossed that it goes OK enough for you today and that this afternoon/evening isn't as hard as other post-assessment ones have (understandably) been for you 💗

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good (late) morning @eth .... 👋💕

Being a student is great 👍

Because the kids championed me going back to studies, it’s being supported with everyone on board, although my mr. is creating issues throuhh his need to control everything and everybody. Instead of communicating he takes over, and creates vindictive outcomes to what he sees as “dropped balls” in order to teach the errant person “a lesson” .... as is his family way. Through the lack of communication he hasn’t realised that the balls were not dropped, they were perfectly viable arrangements he hadn’t been aware of, but it also provides me opportunities to step up and label the vindictive behaviours for what they are, and suggest to him non-vindictive approaches he could have taken, which include communicating and not controlling everybody else’s outcomes .....

So you see it’s a work in progress .....

These changes in him came through with the triggered mi. We had had a lot of discourse early in our marriage about exactly this when my MIL was doing it to me, and pressing mr. to do the same “to control his wife”, and we sorted it and left it behind us at that stage .... so all these past issues have come out of the woodwork again at all of us now, and something like my studies is a catalyst for it ..... so juggling this part is the tricky bit, but we are managing. He is going away fo two days a week, around my study commitments at the moment, so that is okay .... in fact it’s helping to reduce the pressure.

Guess you didn’t expect a long rave reply to such a simple question, but there it is ......

Hi everyone 👋💕☕️

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

10 minutes before I need to get out of my fluffy dressing gown, washed and ready for dentist.

Good to catch you in real time, @eth. Your morning sounds very productive! Good luck with imagining the possibilities on offer with the extra support you now have in place.

@CheerBear, ah, well, a bit of a morning lie in is better than no lie in. I wonder if you'll get some more rest time when the LF are off on their daily adventures. Seems like some more down time might be good after yesterday, if possible. Might help calm the nerves. Yay for your furballs.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Faith-and-Hope what a shame your Mr is acting up - good on you for speaking out when it happens. Glad to hear you're enjoying the studies so far.

@Mazarita I hope the dentist is gentle this time and that you don't have to have any of your new fillings re-done.

@Teej I'm not sure what sort of assessment it is you are having today but I hope it goes in your favour.

@CheerBear be gentle with yourself while your perfectly understandable reaction to an unreasonable response from NDIS unfolds. Hoping the other big thing you have to tackle this week is easier on you and works out for you.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, @CheerBear, @Faith-and-Hope, @Teej, about 15 minutes to departure time. Dressed and ready. Wonder if I'll catch any of you before I leave.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I'm still here @Mazarita

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good luck with the tooth @Mazarita .... 💕

@eth I haven’t been on the NDIS thread for a while ..... I still haven’t braved that, after getting a Companion Card for my D2 went wonky (Dr was gob-smacked) but it eventually came through ..... thinking of you and @CheerBear as you do battle with the system and the people who make ill-empathised/informed decisions ...., hugs 💜💐

@Teej hoping today goes well for you ..... listening out with a ready shoulder should you need it ..... I believe in you. Go sista ..... you will get this, even if you haven’t got it right now ..... ❣️

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It sounds like a lovely productive morning @eth. Go you 😄 💜.

I have been sitting through an assessment to see if I am suited to a type of psychotherapy. It’s with a new psychologist and it’s tested me to the max. After every session I flip out. It’s bringing up lots of vulnerabilities. I won’t know for a few weeks if I can do it. I think this would be helpful but I’m quite afraid that I won’t meet the criteria.

@CheerBear You may have noticed I only just caught up with your news from yesterday. Lots of feels for you going through MORE of this stuff that you shouldn’t have to. 💜🤗

@Faith-and-Hope Seems like lots happening in your world. Glad to see you ploughing through it all though. They are good lessons for your kids too in conflict resolution.

My appointment is not until 3 but I have fore warned s4 who is coming home for the night that I’ll be awol. I’m kind of glad he’ll be here after in case I completely lose the plot. You may find me screaming out later although I could surprise you all a cope with it yet 😳:face_with_rolling_eyes:😜

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Teej, sending my best big girl pants and blouse for the meeting, along with a spirit of strength and support heading your way. Hugs going out to you for the leadup to it and for afterwards.

Hi @Faith-and-Hope, it was an all over teeth clean and polish after 12 fillings recently. All went fine and I don't feel traumatised today as I did with the previous two sessions (6 fillings a pop in two 45 minute appointments!) Glad it's all done with now though and it feels so much better to have a smile I can show instead of hide.

Hi @eth, woops, left a little early for the appointment and missed you earlier. Had a bit of a wander in the op shops before the dentist, and afterwards brought home a pie from my favourite bakery for lunch, yum. Good to be out and walking about in the sun again. Wonder how your day is going after such a productive morning.

Hi @CheerBear, didn't mention how much I love your new avatar.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It's nearly 3 where I am @Teej and I'm thinking of you imagining you might be starting to feel the pre-scary stuff feelings. Will be listening out for screams also but holding on to the belief I have in you too, that many others here share 💗

Waving hi and thanks @Faith-and-Hope. Sorry to hear the companion card went wonky (so much grrr to so much stuff that happens that doesn't need to!). Hope your day is going well today.

Hope your appointment went well @Mazarita. Just got the email from your tag (yay for it working again). Thank you - my avatar is basically what I look like in person 😉😁

Anxiety drove me to organise the pantry today (or part of it). It also had me calling the NDIA and getting nowhere very helpful. I really wish I'd listen to that voice that says "this is maybe not the best idea today". Hoping that after a scary appointment tomorrow, I will feel a bit more settled because I am struggling with flip out head again now.

👋 and bye to all as I head out to pick up the crew. Hope the afternoon is an OK or better one for everyone.
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