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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Oh what a beautiful response...I could not have said it better @Exoplanet

Yes yes yes you are very much like me....I have such determination which has got me into trouble with my conservative family ....workplace...

you keep on believing in yourself and living to your values ......

without dampening any of that ...coming to terms with realisation within your standards not other sheep...

I think that you are onto something with the damper and baked beans....a conglomeration of australian and american outback....

perhaps you had better slap a patent on it quick smart before someone beats you to it..

on a more serious note ...you have a lot happening there with your sustainable lifestyle which many people make money from...

you have the reality side in the mix which most yuppies or bored retirees don't have laugh..

whatever...you are living the real life and I love it...

I am not going to say any more because I am cutting back on my style of response.

love what you are doing @Exoplanet

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

hello @Mazarita

caught a glimpse of you there in the background...

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Sophia1 🙂

Your callout sees me emerging from my bear's cave of hibernation today. Though I did go out for a half-beach walk. That was good.

How are you going this evening?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

well I will start with hello and would love to chat

@Mazarita and anyone else

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

laugh @Mazarita

I have had a very unusual mixture of emotions this weekend..

however I managed to orchestrate..... an outing that benefited me...

so celebrations there...seriously I have stood up for myself even more than I ever had before...I have actually been listened to and taken seriously...so huge ....huge..step moving forward which is the only way I am going..

I know that you are still adjusting with medication change which in itself regarless of struggles is hard...hopefully you are feeling a little relief at the least...

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good to hear you feel you are being heard, @Sophia1. An outing sounds great.

The med change is in one of its hardest moments with depression just now. I've got through a chunk of the day by repeating the word 'now' in my head like a mantra. My mind is being assailed by worried thoughts. I feel a bit exhausted by it but better as always because it's evening.

How is your physical recovery at the moment?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello @Mazarita

I have been fighting off the claws of depression since my operation... it is no stranger to me

I empathise with anyone coming in contact...

medication change is such a challenge..

how am I...?

focus on you xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

There's not a lot to me at the moment, @Sophia1. I have retired from video making while going through these times, through loss of spirit. It's been about five weeks of it so far, on a downhill run. Sleeping at least 12 hours a day, more like 18 in the past number of days, maybe more.

In between I'm making most medical appointments and visiting my close friend every couple of days. And I had a fabulous one day in earlier in the week.

The beach walk today was the highlight of this day, It's also nice that C is home. I get lonely very easily. We are silently keeping each other company at the moment. He's colouring in!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Shaz51, felt you liking just now. Read about your day earlier. How are you this evening, my sister? Hugs for what you are going through.

Hi @Appleblossom, @CheerBear, @eth, @outlander, @Exoplanet and everyone, hope your evening is going okay. Hugs going out wherever they are needed or wanted.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks for the hugs @Mazarita (and @eth and @Exoplanet for earlier). Really nice to imagine the quiet company you have with C colouring nearby.

👋 and 💗 to all
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