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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @CheerBear @Mazarita @Bunniekins @Exoplanet @outlander@Appleblossom hope it's starting nicely for you all and anyone else here this morning.

I was sitting outside with my coffee when the magpie war started this morning, so I now know it's 2 pairs of maggies fighting over our territory. One of them missed the branch and fell down into a bush right beside me LOL He looked so clumsy trying to right himself and get airborn again. Needless to say I jumped up and away under the avo tree with my arm over my head - healthy startle reflex to say the least!

Kookaburras in the area this morning too - they always put a smile on my face. When I lived in the top end there was a different type of kingfisher that didn't laugh like they do down here. I love them.

Watched the moon rise last night and saw it set earlier this morning. No sign of the lunar eclipse or a large mars that I'd read were meant to be happening.

I'll be around a bit this morning if anyone feels like chatting.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@ethGood morning eth I have this mental image of your backyard being some kind of oasis. Full of different trees and vegetation some etable others not but beautiful instead and then there is the bird life that gets attracted to it. How special and wonderous is that. The last place I lived had a small family of maggies a older female and her daughter and her son.l Even when he was a big boy maggie he would make these funny baby maggie sounds :). He looked so funny coming out with these bubby sounds when he was so big.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Bunniekins how are you today? @CheerBear saw your likes, how are you?

What is planned for today?

Yes gp it is something of an oasis. Bro and sil own 2 houses on large blocks next door to each other. The one my cabin is in has a massive avo tree, magnolias, gardenias, a few natives I don't know the name of, red geranium and peace lilly at my doorstep, and a hedge of lillypillies, bay tree, young boab boab, olive tree, and lots of other pot plants. The back 2/3 of the one next door has the veggie garden - 14 raised beds about 2 cubic metres, fruit trees all around the edge including pawpaw, banana, passionfruit, guava, pommegranite (sp?) and about 30 different edible plants in the garden beds. I never cease to feel incredibly lucky to have been taken in here by bro and sil. And now sil's mother is living in the house next door where the plan is to put an inground pool between the house and the veggie garden. It sounds like they're rich but they have (and do) worked incredibly hard and invested wisely for 25 years together. They're very down to earth, totally left greenies. Bro has made a career out of community activism (now trains about 50 people a year through a fellowship he started) and is an expert on air pollution, while sil has worked many years in communications for a council and art (she's a brilliant painter). I love them to bits. In their own ways they can be fierce gently!!! (Well it makes sense to me!)

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Just found out I was wrong - the full moon and eclipse are tonight and tomorrow morning, not last night and this morning. No wonder I didn't see the eclipse! D'uh!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello Everyone 🙂

I've arranged for another fence contractor to come & do a quote. The young lad has only put 5 posts in so far, 2 of which I can wobble by hand & I'm not sure if he's the right way to go; it's also been nearly 2 weeks since he said he'd come back as soon as possible to finish them: I figure a quote won't harm anyone. So I'm waiting for a text as I asked this contractor to send one when they left & I'd go & unlock & drop the chain & stick up a sign to help them find my place. . . the perilious waiting game . . . it means I'm dressed & the beds made - that's as prepared as I'm going to be I'm afraid 🙂

Glad you liked the wine @eth, you probably can't read the little writing at the bottom, it says - 'drink slower, pedal faster' 😄 I thought it was really funny, but in your case it's more 'drink slower, duck under the Avo tree' 😄 D 😄

I missid the moon last night Mazy @Mazarita, though I remember seeing it through the day, while I was on my walk, I think it's kind of magical when I can see it in the daylight 🙂

I agree with you @Bunniekins - why not 'collect' camping gear? I think anything that brings enjoyment & doesn't harm anyone, has got to be a good thing 🙂

Love to all @outlander @CheerBear @Appleblossom @Shaz51

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Ha Ha @Exoplanet great wine label. Hope the contractor you've enquired with gives you a really good quote. Hope you don't have to wait hours for them to come. It doesn't sound like the young lad is the one for the job. Good on you for persevering in your goal to have a decent fence. What else are you planning to do today?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I don't really have any other plans @eth, that tends to happen on the rare occasion that I know someone's supposed to be coming - brain frizz 😉 There is washing to put away . . . & there's always that bloody broom 😄

Hope your more organized than me {well, I know you are :)} & that you find the well deserved help you need

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

LOL @Exoplanet my broom doesn't come out of hiding as often as it should either! I'm a bit the same - if I have one appointment in a day that's enough for me too. Today is a plan-free day for me. Except for the darn exercise bike! And my alarm for having a shower just went off but I'm ignoring it for now. Yes, I actually set an alarm for that!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth@Mazarita@Exoplanet@CheerBear@Appleblossom and everyone who passes just been for a beautiful walk :D. The sun is shining (a bit bright for me but that was ok) went for an hour played u2's A beautiful day and countless other songs. Saw a maggie sitting 'pea'cefully with a australian minor bird on a branch watching the day go by. Hoping everyone has a similar day to those two sweet birds 🙂 xxxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

The contractor just left, this one did walk the boundary with me - of course he said the existing posts weren't down far enough {must admit that was something I thought myself} & that they were daggy {which again I have to admit I don't think they're the best} & told me he could do proper round posts for the same price! So the waiting game continues, now I wait to see the number he comes up with . . . & then I wait for my brain to process it all. I've spent a lot already, it might not be a lot to a professional fencer or a farmer - but it's a lot of all I have; I don't want to waste what I've already committed to by not having it erected efficiently or having it take too long to be errected. He did mention it might be 6 weeks before he could do it, but I am leaning towards having it errected by a professional being worth the wait.

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