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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

She sounds like a really good friend @Mazarita. I tend to do most stuff on Tuesday Wednesday Thursday so I still get 4 days in between - that's long enough to get a lot mor done than i actually do LOl

How're you doing as far as cleaning the flat goes?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Nothing so far on the flat cleaning, @eth. I too tend to do things more in the middle of the week, followed by four very slow days. Some weeks are fuller, some less so. Is it another quiet day for you today?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yes @Mazarita. Sometimes I can't work out where the hours go!

With the flat cleaning - I would make a list of the jobs to be done, work out who'll do what, and then just try to tick off one item a dayl This works really well. You probably have a list to keep track of your lists by now, I seem to suggest them for everything!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yes, lists are good, @eth. Except I've been so extreme in my collapse I've been in my dressing gown all day, falling asleep in the chair, barely able to move for long stretches of time. Really flattened. Even just dressing to be driven to friend's place yesterday was a big effort. But I am likely to make a list before the end of the week. The main thing is to start... something!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

So sorry to hear that @Mazarita I didn't realize it was quite that bad. One foot in front of the other my friend and soon you'll be walking What sorts of meds are you on atm?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks, @eth. The weird thing is I haven't felt all that melancholy, though there is always something of that with me. Mainly I just seem to be going through these ongoing up and down cycles that affect me strongly in a physical way. Taking the same mix of meds I've been taking for over a year: mood stabiliser, anti-p, anti-d, anti-histamine to help sleep.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sorry @Mazarita this is so frustrating. Comp took all that time to load this page. We must have used our monthly quota and it's gone to a slower thingamajig???

I was just thinking maybe the meds could be tweaked if your doc knows what's going on?Depression manifests diferently in some of us. I imaging either the mood stab. or anti-d being altered in dose could help a lot. And all the other stuff : sleep hygeine (said she!), food eaten, doing things you love e.g. walking on your beach, video editting, listening to music etc. Do you have a recorded list anywhere of things you do when you're happy/well? That's my toolbox that I go back and read when things are changing for me.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I sort of know what I should be doing, @eth. The problem is finding it in myself to do even that amount of self care sometimes. I've read others on the forum describing these states where motivation is so low that self care is just another burden. I relate to it, for some of my time. Other times I feel so good for having the motivation to do those things. I will be talking to my psychiatrist about meds next time, we always do. He too encourages me with the self care things. It's part of what I'm working on too with my psychologist.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, you are probably having some problems connecting, from what you said earlier. It's okay if you can't reconnect. I'll probably try to head back to bed shortly. Thanks for listening tonight. If you do happen to get back on, I'll still be here for a little while. ox

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

My self-care and motivation go out the window at times too @Mazarita so I do understand. No matter the energy I've had lately, there are several jobs I haven't finished that I can't get motivated for even with the hypomania cranked up. But I'm coming down gradually.

I guess I'm not even talking about self-care really, just hobbies. When I get right back to wanting to do nothing at all I still do a couple of the things on my list, just to pass the waking hours peacefully. Colouring adult colouring books, reading and cooking, but not much of the time. Even 10 mins on one of these helps me remember I'm not completely frozen.

But I'm not meaning to preach to you, just gently encourage. And you have mentioned your video work a bit lately when you've pulled all-nighters. When things are out of order for me the clock can take a flying leap! I think it's important to allow some periods of not challenging ourselves too.

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