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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good Morning @eth

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Exoplanet sounds like you're ready to hit the road when the whim takes you. I used to do that a lot too. Have you decided where you're going to go yet?

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth good luck with your NDIS prep and your appointment today. I wouldn't like being out after dark either.

@Exoplanet - well done on those jobs yesterday. Hope your plan-less day goes well for you.

I'm feeling worse than I was when I woke up. I'm tired, achy and sniffly (and feeling like a sook now). I think resting body would be a good idea today, but I don't want to cancel coffee catch up plan. The group I am supposed to be catching up with bring me lots of laughs and feel goods. We formed our group through staying with each other where there wasn't much we couldn't or didn't talk about, so conversation is interesting and very easy. Having friends is not something I'm so much used to anymore and it's something I have missed. It's a bit (a lot) of an out my comfort zone thing to do and stretching myself in this way has felt really good and really important over the last month. I've done some difficult things over the last week and this catch up was going to be like a reward to myself for getting through them.

But I'm feeling very run down today. Part of me wants to spend the day snuggled up under a blanket with a cat on the lounge by the heater on my own. The other part worries that canceling plans is the end of the momentum I've been rolling with since discharge from the recovery centre. It probably sounds silly (and like classic catastrophising) to be worried that one canceled plan is the start of the end of it, but I'm trying to do everything I can to make sure I don't get back to that horrible headspace and it feels scary not to stick with the plan. I hate looking for balance - it's something that I can never really find :face_with_rolling_eyes:

I'm now sitting in my car at the supermarket psyching myself up to do the groceries. Once this is done I'll feel like I've checked off one big 'need to do today', and then I might work on re-thinking my 'want to do today'.

That was a bit (a lot) of a rave!

Heading out now. Hope it's one with good in it for all.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @CheerBear, big fluffy dressing gown hugs to you for feeling worse now.

There's one other consideration, whether or not to 'share the love' with the cold you may have. I often don't go places if I'm sick, to prevent the spread of illness. But I also see how missing the socialising could feel not so good. Will there be another group get-together coming up after this one? That's what I usually look forward to when I miss art group, as I may do today.

Hi @Exoplanet, sounds good that you are playing with your camping equipment, getting it ready to go. I'm thinking just doing that might be moving the motivation forward for you getting out there again. Looks like you, me and @CheerBear, might be angling for an indoors day. For myself, I feel good about that today. Yesterday was a great day, also a big day. Feels like a recovery day here, relaxing.

Hi @eth, a well planned today, it seems. I imagine you will be in the thick of going through your ndis material now. A good long stretch of time until your support worker arrives, might mean you can finish what you need to do before then and get some relaxation time too. Hope so.

Hi @outlander, thanks again for the chat last night. Hope today goes okay, or better for you.

Hi @Bunniekins, thinking of you. Looking forward to when the pea returns next.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

morning everyone @CheerBear @eth @Exoplanet @Mazarita @Bunniekins and all

Exoplanet- i like road trips quite alot just need to update my music and perhaps get my head a little straighter otherwise i might just keep on going lol.

Mazzy- you always welcome, it was good chatting to you in the lonley hrs.

Greenpea- thinking of you at this time too.

Cheerbear- i hope you feel better soon, bug/cold/flu season is almost over thankfully.

Eth- i hope your time with your support workers are ok, good luck with all your paperwork

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello @eth @outlander @Mazarita @CheerBear @Exoplanet @Bunniekins@Shaz51

I have tried reading back a few pages ....too difficult for me to keep up with the pace and what is happening for you all...

miss talking to you...I do need to keep my mind settled...sticking to other two threads seems to be all that I can handle for now...

so here is wishing each and everyone of you some calm...some warmth....some cheer....

happy travelling for those who do some...

happy achievements for those striving with appointments...

happy thoughts for those not feeling well...physically and mentally...

@CheerBear. I get the longing to go to the catchup...when ill and lacking energy...you might use up even more of your strength that you need to become better...save yourself worrying about spreading the dreaded virus as well...a quick call and chat to emphasise wanting to keep up the connection perhaps...you might even already be there by the time you read this...above all look after you...these new acquaintances will probably be wanting you to put yourself first and get better too...caring about their lovely new friend..

@outlandergetting in your car that you are loving and driving somewhere as an adventure sounds wonderful and therapeutic...take a book...grab a coffee and read your book...enjoy your freedom ...

greenpea hope that your leg is holding up and you are back walking...too wet and windy for me to find cows last few days...still on my list..

@Mazaritanot sure ...art group? friend visiting? hope that your dental work has settled along with the pain..

@ethyou are at the tidying up stage of your quest....government departments...health or support workers do not communicate with each other...each entity lives and works in it's own environment...

they all tick boxes to justify their funding...

I hope that you continue to find yourself and your strength in your new journey

my rehabilitation has come together because I have done the research..the leg work...the organising...I spoke about this with my therapist...that the medical world does not communicate well within it...

hope that you can all understand ...a bit higgledy piggledy...

main thing is ...smile with me...

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I am all snuggled up on the lounge feeling kind of sad and sorry for myself but also happy that I made the decision to give myself a few hours of quiet indoor time today. The sharing germs thoughts helped with that, thanks @Mazarita ☺ Hope you're enjoying your recovery morning so far.

Morning to you also @outlander. Hoping your day goes well today x

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Exoplanet

smiled at the practising packing a suitcase...

I don't mind packing to go...hate unpacking when get home...

hope that you arrive at an outcome that brings you some peace and pleasure...

@Shaz51

hoping that you too are finding some relief with your new diagnosis...that Mr Shaz also is settling more with his change in medications..

that life in general is bringing some warm moments for you both to share...

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Definitely understanding the need to stick to what you can and what's right for you @Sophia1 ☺ Thanks for your wise suggestions also.

And definitely smiling with you. Hugs ❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

just a day for washing @CheerBear nothing exciting. Hope your days ok too.

@Sophia1 im all higgeldy piggedly too, not to worry, i think we all get it
im hoping to go soon but who knows, i can never tell cause of all the things that need to be done.
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