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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Its usually in the minuses so i guess 4 isnt to bad @Mazarita its been in the low 20s of a day which is nice except we need lots of rain
Im not a fan of where i live tbh. Ive lived here for 21yrs. Not the same house but same area. Then again i dont really like living atm.
Im going on a day road trip when i can (mum needs to be off work pop well work on a quiet day) so can share some other pics soonish

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

A day trip sounds like a great thing to do when you get the chance, @outlander. Looking forward to the pics. Sorry you are feeling things so tough. I've moved around a lot in my life. It's only now that I crave more stability. But those times when I was moving around more were a pretty rocky ride too. I am better off in moods in a stable home.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Im looking forward to it to in my new car. I like this one alot @Mazarita
Things are really tough atm and doesnt seem to be getting any better yet..

I went to 5 different schools. 2 primary schools ( one primary school closed though so wasnt by choice) and then 3 high schools as well. One for yr 7 thrn moved for yr 8 then for yr9 and ended up staying there was really tough but was bullied alot of the time esp yr 8 so i was really glad to have moved. My sisters thankfully havent. The little one is almost halfway through primary and the middle one went to 2 primary schools (moved during yr1 so pretty much stayed at the other school the rest of the times) but only one high school so im glad they had it alot more steady. Im abit mixed i need the stability but i also want to go and be 'normal' and out and about i havent really had that. Its almost trained me into staying in a safe bubble even if it causes more harm then good-does that make sense...?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yes, it does make sense, @outlander. I ran away from home when I was 16, just before I turned 17. I wanted to live life independently after that. But it got very scary sometimes, other times I was so broke, it was woeful. In another way, being in the wider world more on my own, made me feel stronger than I do now. It was a riskier life. A lot of times I was naive about what perils there might be, and not very practical with skills for living. But it felt like I was open to life more. I'd like to refind some of that spirit but not go as crazy with it as I did back then. I've often been too scared of other people, which has made it harder to live my life. After being bullied, I imagine you might have some similar feelings. Hugs.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yeah many people scare me @Mazarita after being bullied SA and emotional turmoil amongst just life things like psych disagreements etc makes it hard for me to live. I am rather broke, its disgraceful im forever just paying bills or getting abit ahead but all i do is work and pay bills.
Maybe one day youll find abit of that spirit again just more manageable this time. Maybe a topic of discussion with your psych?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Im starting to drift @Mazarita so ill say goodnight ill prob be up again in an hr 😕 but if you respond will read and reply when im up.
Thanks for the chat its been good talking like old times. 💙💚❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

If as in no pressure to respond at all

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good idea with the psych, @outlander. I see her on Thursday.

I hear you about how hard it is to live your life. Hugs again.

You might have already told me this, but do you have any hopes for further study when your arm and hand heal, and you are ready?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Cool, @outlander, sleep as well as possible. Loved chatting with you tonight.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I would love to study when the timesright @Mazarita ❣

Goodnight 😴
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