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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It feels so weird talking quietly on an open forum @outlander haha! I can feel your giant care though ❤

I'm OK thanks. Busy, trying hard to make sure I stay OK, lots happening (always lots happening) but coping well enough I think/hope. I am trying all kinds of new and old things, joining groups, new counselling and support stuff, a new friend etc. Sometimes it's been a bit overwhelming but for the most part it's good. The kids have been back at school for a week ☺

How are you going?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

yes it does @CheerBear but i always worry about my forum fammily and want whats best for them. i dont have as much experence as others here so different point of views/convos never go astray.

im glad your ok for the most part, i wouldnt expect anyone to be 'cured' but going better is great! it really sounds like your trying your best though with all these new things your trying out. i read somewhere about your new friend, i hope that is going well... and also did i read you were looking at an art group and/or womens group? im not sure if that was you or someone else so forgive me if ive got that wrong!

i can imagine its abit easier with kids at school too, whilst we love them they can be abit overwhelming too (not that they mean too)


im ok enough for now, havent been so good and have been laying very low the past few days but today has been okish and thats good enough for me.


hows your weekend going?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

You have heaps of experience @outlander and you care a lot. That care is what matters so much 💗

Yeah cure is not something I expect, at least not for a loooong time. Learning to live the way I want maybe, but there's no "fix" I think. New friend is going well thanks 😊 He makes me laugh lots and he's super energetic (even more than I can be lol). It's nice getting to know him. And yep - I start a women's arty group supporty thingy this week. You've done well to remember!

Sorry to hear you haven't been so good. You juggle a lot and I imagine it's hard to get a break from the worries sometimes. Is it the end of school holidays from this week?

Have you got much on for.the rest of the weekend?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

thanks @CheerBear

its really good to hear theres some improvements though. learning to live the way you want or learning new ways to live is great.
thats really great to hear- geez hes not the energizer bunny to is he but its great to hear he makes you laugh and perks you up. sounds really exciting with the supporty group thingy. i hope youll be able to amke some friends and have some more supports around you too.
yeah its hard to get a break, thought i may end up in th ed but havent gone there yet, it wouldnt work well for me cant handle the family dramas when that happens! the kids go back on tuesday here. ive had them for most of the school holidays but they have been pretty good esp snce i havent really done anything with them.
i have siblings and work but thats about it. nothing all that exciting!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @CheerBear, @outlander, @Teej, @eth, @Appleblossom, @Exoplanet, @Shaz51, @PeppiPatty, everyone, have enjoyed reading your chat. Wishing all a relaxing end to the evening.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

hi @Mazarita hows your day been?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @outlander 😊

I wish I could build a bazillion break places - so many people here could benefit from them I'm sure. I think it could be a really great option for reset when you're in the space that it sounds like you've been in, especially when hospital doesnt work so well for you with your family. It's hard to not be able to get a break (from life/stress/thoughts etc.). Good to hear siblings have been OK though. I hope things are a bit easier when they're back at school.

(He's super energizer bunny times a million haha 😁)

It's been really nice to catch you tonight Outlander ❤

Hey again @Mazarita 😊 Hope smoothie and C were/are good

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

thank you for doing that too @CheerBear

they dont support me mentally at all. there is a break place near me. they call it more like a short stay place. like your break place but only there for a maximum of 3 days (not including the weekend) i cant even go there it jsut causes so much trouble for me its worse coming out and being there then trying to stay out which really defeats the purpose of a break place doesnt it!
its been nice catching you too, it feel like forever

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It's so hard when people close to you aren't supportive of your MH @outlander. Wonder whether it may be worth any of your Drs or support people trying to talk with your mum and family.

I can see how much trouble it can be and how it could feel and be harder in ways when coming out. The place I go is up to 4 weeks so plenty of good can be done in that time which makes it so worth any trouble. Hospital, like a short stay unit may do, serves a different purpose here and for me. Until my recent experience, I was pretty sure that I would never go back to hospital again. A couple of days before I went to the break place something happened and I wanted and needed to go in. I tried but didn't say it clearly enough probably. For me, hospital was an option then that would have helped make sure I survived that weekend. When I think about the trouble it may have caused my family had I gone to hospital then, I can see it's not close to the trouble that me not surviving the weekend would have been. Of course, it's all a lot easier said sitting on this side of the experience than it was at the time. I have a feeling you know this though and that you'll do what you need to do to make sure you're safe.

It feels like forever since we've properly caught up. It's made me smile chatting with you tonight ☺

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

that was tried as well @CheerBear they said they were filling my head with s**t and that it is my fault i have mi in the first place.
that is true, and im glad your still here too. its just hard i suppose trying to get through and trying not to make things worse. sometimes i think a break place would be good for a few days but it isnt an option now. all those promises i had when i come out arent even there now or remembered. it only lasted a few weeks, even had me fooled it would be ok. rather frustrating and upsetting but its the way it is for now.
thank you for sharing with me what you just did though, i like hearing how others are both good and bad, both are equally important to me.
its made me smile chatting to you too, im missing some of my forum friends and your one of them.
did you get to do any of your crafty things while you were away?
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