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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth, feeling you under the like button too.

How's your day going?

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Bunniekins very sorry to hear about S1's diagnosis. It's no wonder you're feeling down about it. Really hope it's under control soon with diet and meds that aren't too heavy. @Mazarita will be a great support with her lived experience of the same illness I'm sure.

Hi everyone else @CheerBear @outlander @PeppiPatty @Appleblossom @Mazarita @Exoplanet

I vaccumed the big house, got on the exercise bike and then spent some time adding colour to a self-portrait I started this time last year. Felt really good just to get into that mindful space and quiet my mind.

Hope this afternoon is peaceful for you all.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Mazarita - I know anxiety around driving is a thing for a number of people here. It's something I have worked really hard on trying to over and challenge and sometimes I have a win with it. I felt panic trying to take hold and managed to practice some cool new tricks and they really helped 😊

It is great news for person in hospital. Not totally great news for the one who has to look after them though. It's a relationship with lots of tension and unhealthy dynamics, of which I have been caught in between for my life. Being sick increases behaviours that I find extra difficult to tolerate and accept (particularly recently), that hurt the other person a lot. It's that complicated stuff. I'll support from a distance a bit more for the next little while, and from a selfish perspective that's not a bad thing.

Big hugs for your recovery from your illness. I read over the last couple of pages and you have been knocked about. Is C home this evening?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, go you! So good to hear you finding some mindful, calming activities after anxiety.

@CheerBear, glad you are taking a step back. You have a lot to deal with as it is. C just walked through the door as I read your question about whether he'll be here tonight. Yes! He's just about to make us a fruit smoothie.

I'm going to go offline again to spend some time with him now. Good to see you both this arvo.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sounds like a pretty good day @eth! Have you worked on your dreamcatcher recently?

Hope you and C have a great evening in each other's company @Mazarita. Enjoy the smoothie (and the go Maz feels! 😁)

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

On you @eth with getting active and practical help for bro and sil.

I am most glad you got into a painting headspace.

@Mazarita Yum smoothie. We had a good night out last night. Going to a crowdfunded CD launch tonight. Totally brilliant musician and composer.

Hi @CheerBear @outlander @PeppiPatty

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey @CheerBear you have been really strong lately supporting your ill friend Good on you for taking a step back for self-care. I'm sure you'll still be there for them when they need you, but you have to look after yourself and your family. They say we have to give from an overflowing cup, not one that is already depleted.

A couple of weeks ago I wove the webs in my dreamcatcher (2 rings) and put some little pieces of turquoise in the centre of both rings. Last week I bought leather thongs and beads to hang the feathers but haven't done it yet. Maybe tomorrow.

Tonight I'm going to have another fire in the fire pit in the veggie garden as long as the wind stays away.

Hi @Appleblossom just coloured pencils and textas today. I'm not at all confident painting. My drawing is quite childish I think but it's representing me with a few symbols and words written around it. My Running Deer persona - lots of stories there.......

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @eth ☺ you're very right - there's only so much we can give and I, like everyone, can't give on empty. I find it so hard sometimes to not jump in and do all the things, but the memory of being completely empty only a few weeks ago is still well and truly in my mind and I'm making it a priority not to get back to that place!

Your dreamcatcher sounds so gorgeous! I wonder if it is something that we may be able to see here (very much respecting that it may not be). Love hearing what you get up to and enjoy doing. I've caught descriptions of where you live (the cabin) and have a very cool image of it in my mind. I'd love to live in a little cabin when I'm older. Mine would have lots of cats and yarn in it 😁

Hope you have a really enjoyable evening too @Appleblossom ☺

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sneaking in a big hi and plenty of these 💗 @Teej - been thinking of you heeeeeaps.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@CheerBear I don't know how to upload photos from my phone yet so you won't be seeing it sorry.

No cats, but 1 very loving border collie actually doesn't belong to me but I live in his territory! He's gorgeous.

Hi from me too @Teej xx

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