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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Are you talking about Nik @outlander? Or something I haven’t caught up with?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

No @Teej someone else.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Ok @outlander i haven’t caught up on that yet but it doesn’t matter who I guess. It is really really hard when someone leaves here that has become like family. I don’t have any answers but to say I think it’s ok to grieve that loss. It’s really not something I’m good at but I think you get better at it over time..... maybe. I actually just realised I have no clue as to help you with this except to say it’s hard and it’s ok for you to feel sad. I don’t know how I’m going to deal with losing Nik from the forum. I have put my head in the sand about it for now.

Sorry im not much help.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Being heard it helpful. Thanks @Teej sometimes i dont know what is worse feeling everything or feeling nothing. Seems the same for you too....
Big emotions really suck

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Im sorry , will you accept my apologies @Teej i should learn to control my meltdowns better.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Don’t be sorry at all @outlander. I went quiet for a bit because I got distracted. Take care of you. Meltdowns happen. I have pages and pages of them on the forum. All good my end. Take care of you tonight. I’m going to try to sleep now. Another big day tomorrow. 💜🤗✨🌙

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks for understanding @Teej and for your help. Goodnight 💜

**you have helped even if you dont think you have

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Morning everyone 🌞

It's a little quiet here this morning. Hope everyone is having a peaceful start to the day.

@Mazarita great to hear you got to art group yesterday. One of the programs I have been trying to get into this week is a therapeutic arty kind of thing for women who have experienced FV. Crossing fingers the coordinator gets back to me and there's a space available as it sounds awesome. The other is a women's group which also has art and craft as well as outings, cooking etc. Both look great ☺

@outlander big, big hugs. I think most of us who have been around for a little while and made strong connections have felt the feels when people we are close with are no longer here. It can be really hard. Like Teej said, I too think it's OK (and important) to acknowledge and grieve loss when it happens. Sometimes it helps when we can share our pain, but that can maybe be a little difficult to do here in these situations for a few reasons. Again, big hugs.

@Teej wishing you the best with another maybe tricky day ahead for you 🤞❤

I've been having my coffee watching the sunrise this morning as usual, but today I could see some far away hot air balloons. Every now and then I see things like this that I wouldn't have seen where we used to live and it throws me a little. It threw me in a nice way this morning 😊

We're off to a trampoline park today to get some built up energy out of a couple of smaller people. I'm excited about that 😆

Hope it's one with good in it for all 💗

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Awoken to a dark, soft overcast day. It's been raining fairly steadily all night. Cool air coming through screen door while I sit rugged up in my giant fluffy dressing gown. Days like this feel relieving and relaxing.

Nothing pressing me today. It would be wonderful if I redyed my hair (long overdue), and subsequently had a shower. We'll see if that happens or if I just sleep more and generally relax. I feel the latest med I've changed to (an anti-psychotic), is paradoxically giving rise to more general anxiety in me. It's either a side effect of the new med, or the old med was holding my anxiety at bay more effectively. I can probably live with it. Again, we'll see. I've only been on it about four weeks so far.

Dreams were strange. I dreamt of my very first psychiatrist. He was an ambivalent figure in the dream. It was like the end of the world in my dream and we were all trying to pick up fragmented pieces of whatever was left of the material world and ourselves, to survive. Still feel weird from that dream.

The spasmodic pain in my left temple continues to increase in frequency, not great. Neurologist appointment is only a week away. I hope this potentially very painful head condition (which could be trigeminal neuralgia), stays at bay long enough to see the neurologist, before it gets too bad to bear. I've been in the 'too bad to bear' pain with this condition before and it lasted way too long (at least a month), and a number of emergency visits, before I got an accurate diagnosis and treatment. Glad I've got a quiet day because it seems to respond to stress levels. Everyday life out in the world for me tends to generate higher levels of anxiety. I am usually calmer at home.

Enough of how I am today. Hope the day treats everyone well. ox

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Snap, @CheerBear

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