FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

1,101 - 1,110 of 27,230

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Sometimes I mention people in a tag, or more often like their post. It's just to let you know you're thought of, and appreciated. So don't ever feel obligated to respond; just bask in the pleasure of knowing you're thought of

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks for your generosity and kind thoughts, @Sans911. Your thoughts become my thoughts of you in return.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello Mazy @Mazarita 🙂

So glad you enjoyed your art group 🙂 I'm not surprised you did so much better than you imagined you would. I think art is 99% inspiration and just 1% skill - and you are extremely inspirational!

I'm also happy to hear your feeling more grounded, I imagine the emotional therapy is very confronting, but maybe facing those things is helping to put your emotional feet back on solid ground. I carry a lot of anger and guilt as well, for most of my life I think I felt like 'nobody knows the troubles I've seen'; when I finally accepted that most people have - it grounded me, but in a very depressing manner. It was like seeing the truth about Human nature and not being able to escape that I am one.

I think you may know yourself better than you realize, you say you only made it about 250 metres, but something inside you knew that if you didn't stop you wouldn't be able to walk the distance to the bus stop without triggering pain that was outside of your ability to cope.

I hope all that video editing is coming together nicely for you 🙂 I think you've made a clever move with the 1am curfew for it ;D Just 60 minutes past Pumkin hour 😄 I haven't been making pumpkin hour, though I did dare to muck with my sleeping pattern a little while I was camping - I had a nap both days, both times were less than an hour, but the last night I did have a little trouble getting to sleep. No trouble last night though, in fact I feel asleep in the chair! Haven't done that for a while 🙂

Lots of love streaming to you Maz

Niqua

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Former-Member

Niqua, it's profound what you said about recognising that we are human beings. I have the poor me's at times, maybe some part of me feels that way most of the time. Maybe that's part of being human, finding compassion, for others and for ourselves too, for the pain we experience just existing. High falutin words. I will be going out soon to have a massage. I wish I could send one to you but I have a feeling you might not be into that anyway. So I'll send hugs for the rest of your day instead.

Only two days since my last rubber ducky and about to grab another today, lol. Those past couple of nights I posted my little raves here, well I didn't go to bed by the curfew I wrote down. Incorrigible. But I'll have a nap this afternoon before going out to a community arts event in a local cafe tonight.

Tomorrow I need to start cleaning for the flat inspection coming up at the end of next week. Hoping to make it a bit of a spring clean. I like the idea of starting it on the first day of spring.

Cheers, mate.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Woah, that's one sparkling rubber ducky! @Mazarita 😉

Yeah, fancy having trouble understanding something as complicated as the Human Being!?!

Love us being in sync on here

I don't always make the Pumpkin hour, but I always have it in my mind - I think that's the important bit.

Enjoy your massage, I would love one! So long as it was a female massager and it would help if either her or myself could become invisible 😄

Thank-you for letting me know it's offically Spring tomorrow, but Mother Nature told me it was Spring weeks ago - blossoming flowers, bitey bugs and rising tempuratures.

I might just pick up the broom and tickle the floors tomorrow - how's that for a spring cleaning 😄

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Home again after massage, Niqua. It was great. Except my nose kept running! Lol. And I wanted to cough. And I was getting cramps in my feet. Gotta laugh. My muscles feel heaps better for her treatment though. I think it's helping my health and wellbeing overall to do this once every four weeks. It is relaxing at the least.

It's a good marker, that pumpkin hour, and I'm going to try to keep it in mind more.

@Former-Member

Sending you a virtual massage...

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good night Mazy @Mazarita 🙂

Thanks for sending the much needed and appreciated massage 🙂 Pumkin hour is approching and I'm good and tired, hope your massage relaxed you enough to drift off soon too {if not already:)}

Sleep well and peace be with you

Niqua

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Goodnight, Niqua. Sleep well with wonder filled dreams.

@Former-Member

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I can't believe it's already 1.30am.

The evening was too exciting to me, and anxiety ridden, that I don't know when I'll sleep. It may take a while, but I'm thinking it's okay because I don't have anything pressing tomorrow except getting some cleaning done. Phew that there's nothing on tomorrow.

Wonder if you are around, @eth. Of course I hope you are instead sleeping peacefully.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Mazarita I am here now if you are >>>> ?

1,101 - 1,110 of 27,230