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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Mazarita

today I was looking for a swift kick up the gentle Maz motivation to get going if you were around. I’d had a self destruct session and was just wanting to curl up in a ball instead of going out. I did get out though so I’m guessing your telepathic skills worked a treat 😜. I hope your time with your friend was nice. 💜🤗

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Awesome that you made it out, @Teej. Way to go!

My time with my close friend was good, and so was getting out of the flat into the sun. But I have been paranoid all day about the possible new friend who rang at 5am this morning. It's an overreaction that I'm sometimes prone to. My social anxiety is pretty deep, even when I keep a 'poker face' most of the time. My anxiety in general today has been very high, fearful of lots of things, including fears the bus was going to crash, that there might be people on the street I was walking on that wanted to hurt me, etc. It went on and on. Glad I'm home now and that C is here. Basically okay at the moment, though still feeling rattled.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I only read before about your new friend @Mazarita. I think look after you too. I couldn’t do that with anyone now. I would self sacrifice hugely and I’m guessing you would too. I’m sorry your day was full of anxiety. I hope you can distract and get into flow with creating something maybe. I came home early today but after I realised I was actually doing self care. I had flipped my lid by the time I met my friend and it took all I had to try to be present with her. I’m glad I went but I came home and curled up in a ball and slept an exhausted sleep. I think I know what is setting me off too. Too many changes for me and too many unknowns.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Teej

Learning about up the proverbial your sense of humour Bella ...

I have had a good day, Staying inside. Changing after shower from one set of pjs to another. Debauchery! Both my son and I have been very productive in this weekend that was supposed to be a rest and recovery time.

Must be a sign that last week was a very good week.

@outlander Sorry you dont feel well enough to post much, but good you let us know you are around. I was concerned.

@Mazarita

Hope you are travelling well.

@The-red-centaur You seem in a crisis situation.

I do hope your MH workers can come through and

for you to be able to work well together.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

😂 @Appleblossom. I’d noticed you were catching on to my humour and it makes me smile. I’m so loving hearing about your life right now. There is a strong sense of grounding and some settledness in your writing.

PS hint when I’m hormonal my language usually reflects that too 😳:face_with_rolling_eyes:.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I have been doing creative stuff since after dinner, @Teej. Being at home doing that is calming the rattled feelings somewhat, but they haven't yet gone away. I'm worried now about how to back out of this connection that I've started with this woman, as it's triggering me too much to cope with. I'll work it out somehow though.

I'm glad you went out too, even if it meant curling up into a sleep ball afterwards. Sorry you are being rocked by change and feel out of control with the unknowns. I kind of relate to that feeling today too. ox

Hi @Appleblossom, go pajamas!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Who would have thought typing with a line through it would be funny. I always wondered why the forum even had it as an option.

@Teej

Sorry you were woken at an unearthly hour. It could be enough to shift your mood when feeling vulnerable.

Sorry also that it seemed as if I ignored you @Mazarita You had not posted about your day when I was composing my last post.

New friends are tricky. I am swotting up on the subject ... der ... typical me

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It’s okay to put gentle boundaries up around your new “friend” @Mazarita and see if she settles within them. A 5am call is too early in most people’s estimation, and a bit of an alarm bell about respecting boundaries. Once a friendship is actually established, both of you tend to know what sort of behaviour, and how much of it, the friendship can support, but it does take time, and a sort of social dance, to negotiate your way there, and it sounds like this new person in your life is gate-crashing ..... you are entitled to the sanctuary of who you let in, and at what sort of speed, and expect a knock and a preparedness to wait for your response first.

That’s my thought anyway .....

💜

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks to you too, @Faith-and-Hope. Appreciate your words.

How has your day been?

Feeling you under the like button, @CheerBear. Waves.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Just lingering about enjoying reading along @Mazarita 😊👋 Sorry to hear you've been feeling rattled today. I think these kinds of situations could rattle many and with the extra layer of social anxiety it's understandable it's hard.

Hugs for you @Teej. You've popped into my mind a few times today.

Hi to everyone else here - nice to see you all 😊
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