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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks for the good wishes on the real life friendships, @eth. I lost a friend earlier in the year, someone I'd seen occasionally for a couple of years at least, and had some good times with. Not easy losing friends when you don't have that many. Differing expectations of the friendship seemed to cause problems and so we both walked away at that point. I still think of her kindly and hope she feels the same.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello Everyone

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Exoplanet

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That's a shame about losing a friend @Mazarita but I hear you, sometimes it's best to walk away.

Hi @Exoplanet

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks, @eth. There were also profound differences in our world view that starting to be grating and difficult for us both. Basic and central things to the way we approach the world, things that would come up and present obstacles pretty much every time we met. I still think of her with some sadness over losing the friendship, even though it wasn't a really close friendship.

@Exoplanet, @outlander, well I've cancelled my breast screen today. I am so tired and also now have been hit with a nasty headache. Getting around for hours on the buses just doesn't seem the way to go today. Have rescheduled over the phone. So yay! I am free for the day now.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Exoplanet

Sounds like resheduling is best @Mazarita headaches and loud public transport doesn't really seem ideal

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yay for the free day, Boo for the headache, Mazy. Might be time to take a nap? {nag, nag, nag }

Love & soothing vibes to you

@Mazarita

Going offline to try & 'do' something . . . like start the genny for the washing machine - been telling myself to do it for days now

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sounds like a good idea to reshedule your appointment @Mazarita. Maybe you can get some good rest and beat the headache.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks, @outlander, @Exoplanet, @eth. Of course, now that I've cancelled the appointment, my headache is getting a little less intense.

@Exoplanet, ah yes, potato hour. Hope the rest of your day treats you very well. Lovely to catch you in real time, even if only briefly. Look forward to your next rave.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Lol @Mazarita its always the way

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