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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

The cutting words said all too quick,
Cutting to the quick;
How we regret them, and self-crucify,
If only we'd be gentle instead of letting passions fly.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

So true, @Silenus...

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

And yet, our passion is also our strength...

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Sometimes we need to have difficult conversations and it might not always be possible to wear kid gloves. I hate it when I am cutting and try and soften it or cry or make up quickly.

I did have a difficult conversation with my son to say if he was intending to stay with me. I was not going to be a soft touch or a soft option, that I was patient about things becasue I loved him, but that some behaviours I could no longer tolerate. I know I was intense when I said it and it effected the mood in the house for a few days, but I really needed to make it clear, that I did not want to collude with behaviours that might have a bad consequence, like letting him sleep or stay in bed all day. I had "allowed" it in the past. by not nagging or insisting.

Today has been better. We just had chicken soup, watched a show after we dealt with the trip to his father's smoothly.

I am sure your partner knows how much you care.

Hi @Silenus and @eth

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Appleblossom, this one was a bipolar moment, I think. I really felt weirded out and just blurted this stuff out quietly. As you say, apologised quickly. Tears gushing without even properly crying. We hugged goodnight very fondly. I think all is well again. Thanks for your reassurance that he knows how much I care.

Chicken soup sounds delicious. I crave chicken broth sometimes. Good to hear today has been better for you and that the trip to his father's went smoothly.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @Appleblossom @Silenus @Mazarita Anyone around for some chat?

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth .... 😊👋

I am here much later than when you posted this morning .... I think you had a busy day on today ?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Faith-and-Hope

Just flying through here. Off to psychiatrist with support worker, then to meet a new support worker, then home to do a bunch of planting of seedlings (7 foods and one flowering shrub) then cooking a chicken chasseur for the family for tonight (bro and SIL and me). Then at 9pm I have an appointment to get my astrology chart. Busy but good!

Hope you have a lovely, stress-free day and maybe I'll catch you later.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @eth ..... wishing you good energy for such a busy day ......

💐💕

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Wow @eth You must have energy for the right things.

Your chick chasseur mention plunged me back to when I was 16 and it was popular on the menu at work.

Cheers All

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