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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Just did a bit more on the video, @outlander.

With smoking, I'm between attempts to give up. Basically given in to it for the time being. It is what it is. Still have some hope of giving up in the future.

Are you doing anything at the moment aside from the forum? What show is on now? I just looked and see that the TV is still on here with no sound, lol.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I turned tv off. Nothing good on. Im photoediting atm adding photoframes etc on an app @Mazarita with some music on so it drowns out everything.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Mazarita @outlander I used to smoke years ago as well and when i gave it up I started biting my nails and 20 yrs later still biting my nails so i try to keep my hands busy.

I do crocheting, colouring, knitting while watching fox shows and now trying to come on the forums more, I still find it hard to know what to say on the forums so i try to follow the conversations as Social anxiety is really bad for me. I love coming on here and see whats happening and how everone is going hard days or bad days ,its like being on a rollercoaster, so yous will notice i don't contribute much but i try and like the posts. I think of this sight like a close group of friends getting To know and help each other.

I try to come on here at night time every day, for a while now ive been busy trying to find another house to rent as this one the lease is up and the house is to small, i have no room and live in the lounge room, I have been looking since April and not getting anything i think because i have 2 dogs and i will not get rid off them. I used to get help from Anglicare but the worker left and they didn't replace her, i can't go to inspection myself cause of my mental health and my sons won't take me and look as well. I don't know how much more i can keep it together my memory is no good and i get things mixed up.

we have not resigned a lease and just here on a weekly basis

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sounds like a creative thing to be doing as a distraction, @outlander. I love hearing music when I'm doing anything creative. What are you listening to?

I really have to do some washing tomorrow. I've run out of warm enough clothes to wear. No suitable sox for going out in. Gotta be done.

I wouldn't mind colouring my hair tomorrow too. Definitely want to do that before this Thursday. C and I are travelling to a country town then for an art exhibition. Meeting up with a friend who lives there. I'm nervous about the social situation with maybe a lot of people, but looking forward to it too. Want to do some other things this week too to spruce myself up a bit for that. Bit of self care. Anything to help my inner confidence in public.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @saturnzoon, missed your post while I was drafting and posting mine. Good to hear from you.

I used to bit my nails from childhood until mid thirties, when I took up smoking. No joke.

It's so great you find meaning and value in the forums, even if you sometimes feel shy about posting.

Housing troubles are really difficult. It's hard having to move in the first place and then the search can be an emotional rollercoaster. That's how it is for me anyway. Where we are we can't have pets, though we'd really like a dog and cat. Hope you find something better very soon. Are you able to just keep renting on a weekly basis until you find something?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @saturnzoon
Good to see you here tonight

@Mazarita umm it varies ive got a playlist of non triggering songs to be safe. My hands getting sorr now though the bad one ao might need to log off for a while or just follow the convo.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@outlander, cool, always good chatting with you. Good idea with the playlist too. Hope the rest of the night treats you well.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Ill still be around just think i over used my hand again today at the horses @Mazarita its being a pain and gone all stiff. I forget how serious the injury was/is sometimes

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Take it easy, @outlander. I think I'll go back to my video now. Night, @saturnzoon, cool that you dropped in here. Might be back again later.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hope your hand gets better @outlander and your playlist helps you to relax.

I hope your video @Mazarita goes well.

I like watching the FIFA world cup so ive been having that on at night times and trying to do some crocheting or watching my younger son play games on his xbox. one of my older 2 sons just stay in hise room playing playstion 4 online with his friends and i only see him when he comes out to the kitchen.

I can stay here @Mazarita weekly until i find another place as far as i know, the real estate agent for this house is a bit weird where they never say or do anything properly, so i dont really know what the go is here only that i have not signed another lease when it ran out 4th April.

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