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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Maz I am getting numb bum!!!! I have to go forr a walk! I will catch up with you later if you are on 🙂 Hoping you have a lovely restful sleep today . Love the pea xxxx

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Bunniekins, dad was a sagg. Like you, I am highly sensitive too. When I was younger, mum used to say, 'you're too sensitive', or, 'you take yourself too seriously', or, 'you think too much'. She was right but it's hard when it seems you have been born that way.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks for the chat, @Bunniekins. Hope you enjoy your walk. ox

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Ahhh yes those stinging comments that stay with us fire signs. I got 'you think you are smarter than what you are' or 'I was going to send you to a girls home' ..... lovely .... forgiven by me but not forgotten.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Bunniekins, hope your walk was great.

Hi @eth, just noticed you around from your 'likes'. How did the dinner go?

Hi, @outlander, hope you had some decent sleep or rest overnight.

Good morning, everyone. Wishing you kind feelings today.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @Mazarita @Bunniekins and anyone else here this morning. The dinner went pretty well last night, tho I didn't talk to anyone for a good part of it. The table was full so I sat on a bench beside it where 2 other women had an intense and not inclusive talk for a long time. Then moved to another bench with my brother and a friend of his. Interesting chat with the friend as he gave a home to a trans lad for a couple of years (his son's partner) while they were transitioning so we had some common ground (due to my adult child's similar journey). Went to bed around 10.30 while they were all still kicking on. We had 17 people all together and they loved the soup - luckily there was enough to go round.

Heading out shortly for brunch at my favourite bakery cafe with several of the group. Hope to catch up soon.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Snap, @eth! I posted my message '56 seconds ago'. You posted yours '53 seconds ago'. Enjoy today's events and hope to catch you later. ox

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hope you have a good day @Mazarita and manage some rest somewhere along the way. Sounds like you had a productive night x

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello Everyone 🙂

I went in to the place with the posts, I was given a bit of a run-around. At first I was told the person who was to collect the posts had not even been informed, then a work docket was produced . . . either way I was not happy that this business would delay rectifying their mistake! I found myself trying to come up with excuses as to why I needed my refund, when I don't believe I need an excuse! I paid immediately in cash. With the disorganization of this place I can't understand how it keeps it's doors open! But then rural supplies are not the main purpose of it & I now believe they don't get many customers for it; primarily it's a real estate agent, though I can't imagine that's a booming business out here. I cleary stated the size of the posts I wanted, I was even given a quote on them that was obviously completely incorrect - the quote I was given, although stating the size I wanted was actually for the shorter posts! Then there's the docket I was given, that not only didn't state the size of the posts I'd ordered, but had no description of them at all - that was left completely blank! I'd told them that I needed the posts collected & my refund as I was going into the city on Monday - half true, I am going to the city on Monday - half lie, I don't necessarily need the refund. Still they could not collect them in time, stating the man that delivers was working in another town that day & then 'in the shop' today. It wasn't just my body language that spoke loudly of my disapproval, I actually stood up for myself & spoke! It wasn't until I heard the staff memeber say, 'well, it was delivered for free' . . . I saw red & dared to say 'well, it was your business that made the mistake, I am a customer & to be honest I don't know the difference between an 8ft post & a 5ft one, I wasn't aware until I measure them'. I was offered the refund before the collection, that did surprise me - but {isn't there always a but} I was told the 'banking' had already been done for the day & given a cheque. I know this cheque will not be cleared by Monday, I also know cheques are not necessarily 'cleared or honoured'; but I'm hoping it will be ok & that now I have already been refunded they will get off their arses & collect the incorrect posts!

Rave over.

@Mazarita @outlander @Teej @eth @Bunniekins

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth you more than survived it and that is the main thing. I think you did spectacularly well being there with 17 people I would have run out into the cabin and stayed there the whole night. Well done eth Hope you have a lovely brunch .:Dxx

@Mazarita Walk was brillliant am feeling my fitness getting better day by day soon this green pea will be running 😄 xxx

@outlander outlander did you sleep at all hun? I truly hope you got a bit of rest at least. xxx

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