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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Ok then you need to ignore lots of the comments I wrote about him that probably did not make sense at all. I thought he was 12 for some reason @Bunniekins. Doh! So sorry. Messed that one up 😳

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Teej Teej don't worry, you didn't mess up at all, he has a miltitude of disabilities so at times he is like a 12 year old .... I never once picked up any comment from you that I thought didn't fit the situation I was in with him. You are a star Teej xxxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yeah I knew about the disabilities @Bunniekins and it makes much more sense now. I saw the website @eth put up. It looks pretty good. I hope you find something for him there that he’ll love. Is your d the eldest? You don’t have to answer either. I don’t need to know just trying to sort it out in my head. It took me a while and actually having to work it out on paper to sort the order of @Faith-and-Hope 's lot. 😁

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

S1 is 27 s2 turning 25 and daughter is 23 and that is it :D. It does get confusing and s2 is so child like in many ways and yet is also very much a young man it makes it very hard for him ... 25 I remember turning 25 year before I got married lol.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Aha @Bunniekins. Have got it. My eldest is 23. That freaks me out. I was married at 25. Making me feel old too.

I take my hat off to you with raising a child with complex needs. It’s something I have very little experience with. I always learn things when you write which help me be just a little bit less ignorant. Please know I’m always wanting to learn everything. If I ever say something that’s not quite right please correct me 💜🤗

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Teej Thank you Teej I will remember that althoug to be honest I find it very hard to correct people .... I cannot do it I just say nothing lol ... I am quite a shy pea in that way 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Think of it as raising awareness @Bunniekins 😘. I do understand that those things feel uncomfortable though. Hearing you on that one. 💜🤗

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Teej I will then Teej and thank you. Same goes for you though

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

👍 @Bunniekins

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Teej@outlander@Mazarita@eth@Exoplanet and all wishing everyone a decent nights slumber tonight. Love greenpea

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