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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth p.s., yes the video is at a first draft stage, sent to collaborator. But first draft to collaborator is about draft 20 for me. I am trying out techniques on this one I haven't explored as much before. Challenging but also rewarding to try something new.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It's the med I've been taking to prevent the problem I had not so long ago. So I'm not having the colon problem any where near as much, but I now have severe oedema in my lower legs, which says there's something happening in the kidneys.

Sorry to hear the Crohn's has flared up. And a shame you have to wait 4 weeks. Is your GP helping while you wait for the specialist?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, it's okay that I have to wait four weeks, I even put back the appointment they offered me by a week as I had other appointments on the day. I've been having these symptoms for a couple of months. They are a flare up of symptoms I've been living with since I was 18. I am never trouble free from them but they have got a bit worse lately. I'll be okay managing until the specialist though. I think there's up to 12 months wait after that if any surgical procedures are necessary.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

The oedema sounds no good, @eth. I know it affects walking as I have it also to some degree myself. Is it a side effect of some anti-p's? I have just put it down to aging. I notice it's worse when I spend the long stretches on the computer.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I'm pretty sure it's a side effect to the symptom relief med, not the anti-p itself. But the severe constipation which is why I need the symptom relief med is a side effect of the anti-ps (yep I'm on 2 of them plus a mood stabiliser atm plus sleeping med - plus the symptom relief med). I positively rattle by the time I go to bed @Mazarita

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

just popping out for a quick ciggie @Mazarita BRB

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, I hear you on rattling. I take four different medications in the morning and seven at night (including some natural supplements like Vitamin D and magnesium). Most of it for mental illness. And I think I just untangled the double side effects problem you are having in my mind as you wrote it there.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita It will probably mean I have to go off the new anti-p and take a higher dose of the old one, that's what she mentioned last time I saw her. I didn't want to do that then as I know the old one is a bit stimulating and I was already managing hypomania. But that seems to be settling somewhat now and I've had 6 nights of 6 or more hours' sleep which has been wonderful.

I've been taking meds 5 times a day lately. Sure looking forward to a change from that and at this stage I'll try whatever she suggests.

Had another major falling out with Mum last night over her lying to me about discussing me with others. I was planning to go to Bris with bro and sil 9 August for 5 or 6 days but am not going to go now. She can stick it! I know about the long emails about me that she's been sending. She doesn't seem to realize that her adult kids are talking openly with each other now. And she has told me she lies in the past. I really feel like putting her on ice for a while. She's not likely to get more honest or self-aware at her age and I just don't have the capacity for tolerance of this when I've got so much else going on atm. She tells me how I'm feeling instead of asking me. I was telling her I was hurt by something and she was telling me I was angry and resentful. And that's when I did get angry. Blah blah blah ....... at my age I am completely over having mother dramas.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sorry to hear it's not good with your mum, @eth. I've had to emotionally withdraw from mine too at times, sometimes this meant less contact even by phone. I didn't decide to do that up front but just found myself unable to have that contact sometimes. I know you felt very triggered by your mum's visit recently. My mum also told me once I had always resented her. In my case, I think there's some truth in that. Mum and I do our best, both of us, to get over these old things that keep arising. But it's not always easy to change ourselves. And understanding where it's coming from doesn't always make it easier in the moment. I hope things improve with your mum over time, whether or not that involves less contact for now.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

thanks @Mazarita. I was estranged from her for years and decided eventually that I didn't want to miss her last years so I compromised and bit my tongue most times we spoke or spent time together. I just can't do that now that I'm learning to use my voice when something's not ok. I haven't felt anger as such for years (since the last DV episode) but am finding it does come up lately. Probably a sign that I am unlocking my true self and actually starting to have a healthier range of emotions rather than be paralysed like a deer in the headlights which I've been for years. Even if that range does include anger.

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