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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long and self indulgent rave

@Appleblossom, words are so inadequate at a time like this, even after a huge battle. I totally get why you would feel like quiet for now. It was the same for me when Dad died. Could barely speak, after the initial outburst of wailing. Sending gentle love.

In response to: Re: A long and self indulgent rave

Re: A long and self indulgent rave

@Appleblossom No words would be right.

Love and caring

In response to: Re: A long and self indulgent rave

Re: A long and self indulgent rave

@Appleblossom

With you ... holding you close in thought ,.... ❤️💐🐬💕😔

In response to: Re: A long and self indulgent rave

Re: A long and self indulgent rave

Gently sitting near in the peaceful quiet @Appleblossom

Hugs for you in this sad time,

lj

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long and self indulgent rave

@Appleblossom

I landed here by chance and now I know why

have no words, only feelings for you and your family

may your spirituality keep you safe

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long and self indulgent rave

Such a very hard time for you @Appleblossom. You are in my thoughts and prayers as you process the many emotions and feelings that accompany suvh a loss.
Heartfelt condolences, love and hugs 💜💕💜😗👭

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long and self indulgent rave

Popping past on my way to a bath @Mazarita and wanted to wish you all the best for a really special time with your mum. Hope things have been ok for you today. Thinking of you 💗

In response to: Re: A long and self indulgent rave

Re: A long and self indulgent rave

Hi, @CheerBear! I have had a surprisingly good day today and have got lots of needed things done in preparation for mum and friend's arrival. Last minute bits and pieces remain to be done tomorrow. In between doing those things, I will probably be around on and off the forum before heading to the airport in the afternoon. Thanks so much for your well wishes. Somehow I seem to have managed to defer (repress?) a fair bit of my anxiety about housing for now. Just want to try to enjoy and welcome my wonderful guests this week. Have been reading back a bit over the Nest thread tonight. Thinking of you with what you are going through at present. Sending kind wishes for a restful sleep tonight.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long and self indulgent rave

@Mazarita 💛 Glad yesterday was good for you and hope today is the same 🙂

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long and self indulgent rave

Hi everyone. Coffee & company would be great ☕

@Appleblossom, sorry for your loss, your brother 🍁 know you did get to say goodbye this time and its kind of a relief after battling illness so long, but it still rocks us. Definitely a 'GentleighBentleigh' time for you - take all the time you need. i tend to go quiet too at such times, to process it I guess. Big hug ❤
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