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Dealing with intrusive thoughts - my struggle!

Dealing with intrusive thoughts - my struggle!

Edit: This has evolved to become a vent thread and supportive thread. Everyone is welcome to come, vent. say hello, and especially seek support with their intrusive thoughts.

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I've been newly diagnosed with GAD, depression and OCD. I'm in my mid 30s and have been dealing with this stuff my entire adult life. The tipping point was severe post natal depression that I almost didn't survive. I'm getting help for me, but also because I don't want my kid to pick up my issues.

Often my intrusive thoughts are about world events, but at the moment they're suicidal. They push their way into everything i do/think and I'm so exhausted, just trying to ignore them. It's scary and I'm suffering insomnia. I'm currently off work for this week while I adjust to new meds, and my GP and psychologist are suggesting hospitalisation.

I've been trying mindfulness and exercise, as well as limiting alcohol (which I find hard).

So I guess I'm looking for suggestions and support. This mental health journey is so new for me and I feel very alone. I want to make it through this.

Thanks for reading, I really appreciate it. I just also want to state that I am currently safe and with family.

884 replies

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In response to: Dealing with intrusive thoughts - my struggle!

Re: Dealing with intrusive thoughts - my struggle!

Hi @Angels333 - firstly, I am so proud of you for not doing SH for over a week. That is such an amazing achievement, especially at such a stressful time.

You are a strong person to still have a relationship with your Father. That must be very difficult for you.

Sorry to hear about the tremour and that your anxiety makes it worse. I have had really bad tremours on my former meds, so I am hoping these might not be so present on the new ones. Is there something you can do to lessen them or distract yourself? Play with bracelets on your wrists, or deep breaths, tap your fingers on your leg or the palm of one hand?

I understand not sharing your MH issues with your parents. It is such a personal thing, and it's hard to be vulnerable and share - you really need to fully trust the people you share with. My parents know I have anxiety and see a psychologist, but that is the extent of it. They don't know about how bad it is, particularly the depression.


Are you vegan or are you cooking for others who are vegan? I am a vegetarian so I eat a lot of vegan food. I am happy to give you some suggestions if you want xx

Here for you Angels.

In response to: Re: Dealing with intrusive thoughts - my struggle!

Re: Dealing with intrusive thoughts - my struggle!

Hey @Molliex , thanks for the support 💙

My psychologist has given me 2 tips. Firstly I can prepare for the discussion that might arise regarding my tremor, and practice the conversation beforehand. The other suggestion was to carry a small stone in my pocket to ground me. I don't have many clothes with pockets so I like your idea about wearing a bracelet, I can do that.

Mr Angels is vegetarian but he's lactose intolerant and doesn't eat eggs, he does eat dark chocolate sometimes and he eats the lactose free cheese on pizza I am mostly vegetarian, my oldest son is vegetarian but my other 2 children eat meat. Saying that I never prepare meat dishes at home. Most meat consumed in our house is bought as take away. Anyway we always have a vegan Christmas lunch with some vegetarian cheeses before lunch. But Mr Angels is totally vegan on Christmas day. I usually make vegetarian sausage rolls with TVP but Mr Angels (who has severe bowel disease) can't seem to digest the TVP atm. So I don't know what to put in my sausage rolls now 😨 I was thinking about going with lentils and kidney/cannelini beans. Do you have a vegan sausage roll recipe Mollie ?

In response to: Dealing with intrusive thoughts - my struggle!

Re: Dealing with intrusive thoughts - my struggle!

Hi @Angels333

That's great that you have had over a week without SH -

But you are still having anxiety and with Christmas so soon that is a problem for so many people in Queensland after Boxing Day - and after such a rotten issue with your father and keeping your details of your MI to yourself that will be really hard

I get that - and having a tremour that gets worse with anxiety is really difficult

I never told my parents much about my depression when I had it - they were inclined to say really bad things and - yes - there is story there I don't want to repeat - I don't want to remember - so I do understand how really tough it is

And you have good reason to be anxious -

How hard Christmas and ritual visits etc are for some of us - it really is the Holly and the Ivy - good analogies for the season with so much pain under the reason for the season - which I do believe in

But as for the Ho Ho Ho - I like to see my family - this year will be very quiet on Christmas Day - I never see my toxic sibs and my parents have both passed

But I hear you - for you the season is more of the same old misunderstanding and secrets - I really understand

And I care

Dec

In response to: Re: Dealing with intrusive thoughts - my struggle!

Re: Dealing with intrusive thoughts - my struggle!

@Molliex

In response to: Re: Dealing with intrusive thoughts - my struggle!

Re: Dealing with intrusive thoughts - my struggle!

Hi @Owlunar

Thanks for the supportive post and good advice yesterday Dec 💙

You are such an empathetic person and you made me feel validated.

I hope your Christmas is wonderful with your family.

Much Love Angels333

In response to: Re: Dealing with intrusive thoughts - my struggle!

Re: Dealing with intrusive thoughts - my struggle!

Hi @Angels333 @Molliex @Owlunar @outlander @BlueBay and anyone else around here today. Sending warm wishes to all of you that today will be one of the better ones. And that there are some peaceful times of self-care activities over the next couple of weeks.

@Angels333 @Molliex I'm 95% vego too. Very occasionally eat meat when someone else cooks it or when socialising. For the sausage rolls you could use mashed chickpeas and veg (potato, carrot and peas?) with some spices e.g. cumin, 5-spice, coriander ... or mashed tofu & veg with a dash of teriyaki sauce thrown in ... many possibilities - ground nuts are a good binder and work well with tofu mashed and carrot finely grated and some parsley.

Take care all xoxo

In response to: Re: Dealing with intrusive thoughts - my struggle!

Re: Dealing with intrusive thoughts - my struggle!

Hi @Angels333. There are such great vegan sausages around thesedays, that I cheat and make them with those. Something along the lines of this recipe Vegan sausage rolls

I like braclets with beads, so I can count the beads. Almost like prayer beads or something.

Thinking of you 💜

In response to: Re: Dealing with intrusive thoughts - my struggle!

Re: Dealing with intrusive thoughts - my struggle!

Beautiful @outlander. How are you? 💜🌻💜🌻

In response to: Re: Dealing with intrusive thoughts - my struggle!

Re: Dealing with intrusive thoughts - my struggle!

They sound yummy @eth. Yes, you sound like me. 95% vego. I also only eat some meat if I'm given it at dinner or something at someone's else, but even then I only have poultry. So many amazing vego/vegan options these days.

I hope you're well and have a lovely day 🌻

In response to: Re: Dealing with intrusive thoughts - my struggle!

Re: Dealing with intrusive thoughts - my struggle!

Hey @Molliex yes mostly poultry or seafood for me too. Very rarely some sort of lean red meat - can't handle animal fats generally. Beef or roo are ok tho'. Hate pork and lamb. It's funny ... if I'm asked if I'm vego/vegan or such I find that if I say 'no, I'm just fussy' no-one bombards me with questions about my diet and why!

Heading to the women's group of the disability alliance this morning and then possibly the mental health group this evening. Not sure about that one as the person I already know from it won't be there. Have a support worker booked for the evening one but might end up just sitting at the beach for a while.

How's today looking for you?

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